How would you handle this situation?

[Fuckingsickofpeppa]

Here's the basics without going into too much detail.

MIL collects DD from nursery 1 day per week, brings her to my house and watches her for 2-3 hours until I come home from work. Every week I leave details of what's for lunch and any other info I think she'll need.

Yesterday it was pesto pasta for DD lunch and if left a note saying as much. There was fresh pasta in the fridge so it was a meal that would take about 10 mins to sort out. Nice and easy.

I arrived home earlier than normal to a scene of absolute chaos. MIL said she didn't know what pan to use, didn't know if the pasta was to be salted, didn't know what to do with fresh pasta, didn't know how much pesto and cheese to use. DD (age 3) was STARVING. I had to step in and take over.

This has been an arrangement for 2-3 months now and MIL has never once taken DD to the park round the corner or done anything with her while she's in her care. I come home and the house is a TIP with toys, the kitchen is a MESS even if it's just been a cheese sandwich that's been made. It's quite difficult as I spend a fair bit of time sorting the place out when I get home from work.

Now, I know I'm very lucky to have free childcare for my 1 morning a week BUT the woman is driving me mad and I just feel like she's putting no effort into what she offered to do.

Any helpful suggestions?! I'm thinking of "sacking" her and getting a childminder.

I've taken all the comments on board and have made a packed lunch. MIL will hopefully have a relaxing time with DD. And DD won't be starving or have had a creme caramel for lunch.

Some people on here are nuts!

Of course the OP expects any child carer to sort out something to eat for a little child. If her MIL didn't know how to cook pasta pesto then she could have cooked egg on toast or something easy. And for the poster who says the MIL is making memories (awful phrase) - the child's memory of her grandmother is that she's always hungry when she's with her.

Op something you've not mentioned is the relationship bw your mil and DD. Does your DD look forward to and enjoy her afternoon with granny? Does your mil enjoy it too or look exhausted and relieved when you come home? If so then yes it may be too much for her.

My PILs looked after my DD once a week, lots of things annoyed me, mostly that they would never put her down for a nap (which was usually 2hrs) so I would always pick up an exhausted cranky toddler that would be a nightmare to then feed dinner to and settle.

There are a lot of other examples I could give but...she adored them, they did lots of fun filled and educational activities, played lots of imaginative games I would never have thought of etc, so as it was only one day a week I left them to it with trying to sound casual suggestions, 'if you put a DVD on after lunch she'll probably fall asleep and give you a break for an hour or so...'

Make lunch simple and a pre prepared, if it needs to be reheated leave a note with exactly how much time. Take your mil to
Morrisons for lunch and show her how easy it is and how much your DD enjoys it, suggesting they could go together after nursery.

from interest how old is your Mil? Childcare is exhausting as you get older. I see many grandparents who love having their grandchildren and want to help but are physically exhausted and struggle with their grandchildren resorting to anything for a quiet life. The children can run rings around some of them.

I hope it was more successful for you all yesterday