Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

CM Club - advice from those who've looked after young babies..............

35 replies

looneytune · 06/03/2007 15:01

Hi everyone

As some of you will be aware, I now look after the sibling of my 19 month mindee. Baby is now 11 weeks.

I started looking after baby at approx. 6/7 weeks and feel very privilaged to be looking after such a gorgeous tiny baby BUT the feeding etc. is starting to take it's toll aswell as the baby crying most of the time if not held

I LOVE LOVE LOVE little babies but I have 3 children under 4 to look after during the day and obviously have to make sure no one suffers.

Baby is wanting to be fed anything between every 2 and half hours to 3 and half hours, usually every 3ish hours. The feed takes a long time and she also has trouble bringing her wind up which makes her quite upset for a while after the feed. Once she settles, I change her nappy and then put her down to get on with other things.

The problem I have is the times baby wants feeding and no matter what time her last feed was, she always seems to want a feed when I'm preparing lunch for the other 2. I was sorting baby as soon as she wants the feed and made the others wait as the poor baby is so small (was 4 weeks early so still very small) but I can't do this forever as the others kids are always wanting lunch straight after the nursery run and it's not fair to make them wait that long (as due to being small baby and taking a long time to feed, it's much later lunch if they have to wait)

So, today mindees were dropped off, au pair told me she gave baby her bottle at 7.30am. I did the nursery run then went to childminder drop in. At 10.30am I gave baby a feed as I have to leave by 11.10am at the latest for nursery run and I knew she'd be getting hungry and would otherwise have to wait until 12. So, baby had 3 and half oz's at group then we went off to nursery to pick ds up. As usual, we were home at 12 o'clock. Only 1 and half hours since last feed so put her in chair and started lunch for the other 2. By the time I'd sorted their lunch out and sat them down to eat, she was screaming for her feed Maybe she didn't have enough at group but she seem settled after and I had no choice but to go on the nursery run. Baby very tired so had some of the milk, fell asleep, put down, sorted dessert for kids, baby woke up for more milk, gave her bit more, her sister falling asleep at the lunch table (very very tired today, don't think she slept well?!) so put baby down again so could clean other and put to bed (didn't want her falling off her chair!). Back to baby, winded some more, had more milk but fell asleep again. Had had a decent amount so put in moses basket for nap, after few mins she woke up and woke her sister up from the noise. Brought baby downstairs so sister could go back to sleep. Changed nappy, tried more feed as chewing hand, had some more and finally fell asleep in my arms around 2.10pm. Left it a bit then put her down for nap again. Luckily she's now asleep but it seems that the only way she'll settle for a proper nap is by falling asleep in my arms, being left, then carefully being put down in moses basket.

20 mins passed and guess what, BABY JUST WOKE UP. Gave dummy, settled but now her sister is awake and really needs a longer sleep (she's a NIGHTMARE if broken sleep, ruins the afternoon).

Oh, baby awake again............just brought downstairs to sleep so I can stop her waking her sister up.

So now I'm wondering if I'm going to get any lunch today??? Should have made it instead of being on here but really need advice.

The worst part of the day for me in dinnertime as baby always wants a feed around 4.30-5pm but I should start making dinner around 4.30pm so that her sister has been fed and ready to go in time for pick up. If it was just my ds then I'd be able to be more relaxed about the times but of course mindees need to be ready to go at a certain time don't they.

So at the end of every day, when parents turn up, I have always either not written diaries in full, not wash all of baby's bottles or older sister hasn't finished her dinner. I feel espcially rushed when parents/au pair come to collect early as I'm not ready for them.

Question 1 - at what age do you normally expect mindees to be in a routine? I can't sort a routine at my end as baby still waking in the night which affects the time she needs a bottle in the morning. Obviously the routine is pretty much based around when the first bottle of the day was, currently timings very bad for what I have to do but not a lot I can do about that.

Question 2 - do you think it's best to have baby nap downstairs with me so she doesn't break her sister's sleep? I wanted her upstairs to get a proper quiet nap but she's not sleeping anyway so maybe best to stay with me?

Question 3 - any idea's for preparing dinner? How on earth do I get round this problem? I have had it where I'm feeding baby bottle with one arm and spoon feeding her sister with the other but most of the time baby wants her bottle around 'preparing dinner' time

Question 4 - is it really cruel to leave baby crying whilst I sort things out? I know she's so tiny but if I leave her crying whilst I make lunch for the others then it's only about 10 mins of her crying but if I feed her first then make dinner, lunch is 1+ hr later than usual and the kids are moaning for food.

I know the mum at home was putting baby in another room to cry if they had to sort their other dd out BUT they now have an au pair to help so of course she's being very helpful and picking baby up whenever she cries - doesn't help me as I can't always do this as have others to look after.

God, I'm so sorry, how long was that!!!! Going to have to go now as can't type anymore with baby in arms. She's suffering with her wind again. I swear this is a lot of the problem!!!

Sorry for moaning but feel it's time to get some advice.

TIA

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
looneytune · 08/03/2007 13:49

I agree, it's very The au pair is pretty much having them both the whole time she's not at college. I will have them at the usual start times on Tues & Wed but instead of 6.30 pickup, it will be more like 4.30/4.45 on way back from college. She's doesn't go to college on Thursday's so I'm not required as she'll be having them. I'm going to make sure mum is aware that I'm here to help if I'm required as I have no mindees on the other 2 days. Obviously I value my spare time but would much rather I helped out than au pair struggle. Having said that, her mum is coming so hopefully they will be fine.

Not sure about the legalities too as I thought au pairs are allowed to do so much childcare a week?

OP posts:
lunavix · 08/03/2007 14:20

As far as I was aware, au pairs are only meant to do around 20 housr a week, for over 5s.. poor baby

looneytune · 08/03/2007 14:35

Oh, well it's the whole week and for an 12 week old and 19 month old. Oh well, she must be ok with the arrangement so I'll leave them to it! Couldn't do it myself but I try and keep my opinions to myself as I've learnt that everyone is different and has different views.

OP posts:
StrawberrySnowflakes · 08/03/2007 15:32

i know this doesnt sound good but as much as it would be ideal to follow mums routine, id go with the flow of the baby..i wouldnt wake her and if mum says anything say she is so upset once woken, you cant get on with your ds and her dd and the baby gets into lather..say you'll try, but cant guarantee as dont like seeing baby so upset..a little white lie, but baby will thank you for it

looneytune · 08/03/2007 18:15

Cheers SS, think I've got her thinking my way now anyway I suppose I needed the confidence in my own judgements and you've all helped me see that I was right and that baby is still too young to MAKE stay awake most of the day.

Au pair picked up today and I chatted to her about next week. She's looking forward to her mum coming, not surprised as she said they are full with B & B guests next week and of course she still has college and the 2 little ones to look after.

OP posts:
looneytune · 08/03/2007 18:59

Another quick question........when do you introduce cool boiled water? I rarely did with ds as he got water from my milk but I'm sure if you bottle feed, there should be water offered at some stage??? Can anyone advise on this?

Thanks (again!)

OP posts:
StrawberrySnowflakes · 08/03/2007 19:53

as far back as i remember i made up dd a bottle of cooled boiled water with all her feeds, she never drank much, but always made one for her

looneytune · 08/03/2007 21:12

Thanks for that, will mention to mum again then

OP posts:
sunnyjim · 09/03/2007 11:53

no way will an 11 week old baby stay awake most of the day.
DS was on a rough routine at this age (still waking in the night) so here's what he was doing in case it helps;

6am bottle, usually went back to sleep for 1 1/2 - 2 hrs between 6.30 and 8.30am.

9am, second bottle, bit of a play and massage first then bottle,
10am - often went out DS woudl fall asleep in pram or in carrysling so I coudl have a coffee/do shopping. I woudl keep him in the sling to do cooking/washing up.

12pm bottle, again have a bit of awake time for about an hour between 11 and 1pm before and after bottle

sleep in cot for 2-21/2 hrs between 12.30 and 3.30pm - i get my lunch/have a break/do washing up

3/3.30pm bottle
keep baby more or less awake between 3pm bottle and 5pm bottle, he might have a short nap in his pram but only 20-30 minutes.
Get outside and do gentle playing

5pm bottle
bath and play
6pm bottle and bed

10pm wake up for bottle

then he would wake once between 2am and 4am for another bottle.

He was sleeping 18-20 hrs at this point out of each day - he was also tiny when born and 3 weeks early.

I found the 3 hrly during the day and 4 hrly at night worked okay for him after about 8 weeks, he could take a good full feed each time and have a bit of awake time to play and digest his feed.

looneytune · 10/03/2007 10:34

Cheers for that, useful info!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page