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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Au Pair has wrecked her bathroom WWYD

75 replies

Pigsinablanket · 23/01/2017 20:30

My 26 year old Au pair has her boyfriend staying this week. Somehow the heavy double sink unit in her en suite has come off the wall.
She told me this afternoon, showed me the damage and said she was leaning on it last night whilst brushing her teeth and it "fell off the wall".
She was sitting her English exam this evening so I didn't discuss it further. The brackets attaching the unit to the wall are completely bent out of shape and the only way I can see this happening is if excessive weight has been put on the unit .
She didn't mention it to my husband when she saw him this morning before he was leaving for work, which makes me suspect they were going to try and fix it and not say a word.
She is leaving at the end of February anyway.
Should I ask her to pay for the damage ?
I am more upset at the fact that I think she has lied to me about how it happened and would it be an overreaction if I asked her to leave sooner than planned .?

OP posts:

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tatree · 23/01/2017 21:12

I think it's unreasonable to charge her. I'm imagining the fact she has a accommodation in your house is reflected in her pay? If she were a tenant the landlord would be expected to pay, regardless of her versions on how it happened and what you suspect.

riceuten · 23/01/2017 21:18

The boyfriend was probably leaning on it, or parked his arse on it. She's lying. Charge her, or ask her to organise a repair.

dangermouseisace · 23/01/2017 21:26

I'd let it go as you have no proof. You can't accuse someone without evidence…I've had that experience from a landlord before where something broke in a way that was unlikely and completely not our fault. Arguing against him was soul destroying as I was completely telling the truth and he wouldn't believe me. The brackets might have been weakened over time…someone 'leaned' on them and was the straw that broke it. Without CCTV showing your au pair shagging on the sink it's not really fair.

MrsNuckyThompson · 23/01/2017 21:27

She's a grown woman and was possibly shagging her boyfriend in your bathroom. Can you really blame her for not saying how it happened to her boss?!?

You're completely over reacting, unless she has prior form for not looking after your property.

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/01/2017 21:30

Yes, for the me the issue wouldnt be so much the damage but the implication that she was in no way to blame, when clearly thats not the case.

I dont think anyone is saying that she should give chapter and verse about what was going on, just an admission that she was misusing it.

Touchmybum · 23/01/2017 21:35

I guess that's the risk you take with someone else living in your house.

lozengeoflove · 23/01/2017 21:38

Blow by blow
Good one OP

Sweets101 · 23/01/2017 21:38

My DB did that to his sink, i can't remember how but it definitely wasn't shagging i'd remember that kind of story.
Thing is, you don't know for sure she's lying at all.

Original poster

Pigsinablanket · 23/01/2017 21:39

Thanks for the replies, I ll definately sleep on it and see how things look in the morning.
Doglikeafox....I suppose I am annoyed that she hasn't admitted that she did break it . She led me to believe that the unit fell off the wall as she was standing brushing her teeth and she even said how lucky she was that it didn't crush her foot.
I accept the general consensus that it would be harsh to ask her to pay for the repair but I'm cross that she has lied to me.

OP posts:

midlifehope · 23/01/2017 21:41

Surely you can see the funny side? Imagine they were motified when it happened tehehehe!

Doglikeafox · 23/01/2017 21:45

Sorry I understood you saying that she admitted to leaning on it as her admitting fault.
I wasn't there so only you know her attitude towards the situation.

Applesandpears23 · 23/01/2017 21:46

A border at my school broke a sink off the wall sitting on it for a wee in the night.

Original poster

Pigsinablanket · 23/01/2017 21:47

Honestly not funny from here midlife ...

OP posts:

Original poster

Pigsinablanket · 23/01/2017 21:48

But yes first world problem as they say

OP posts:

Original poster

Pigsinablanket · 23/01/2017 21:52

Danger mouse I think if I had cctv of my au pair shying I'd be in a whole other world of bother !!! But yes I take your point, if she doesn't admit to misusing the unit then there's not much I can do .

OP posts:

llhj · 23/01/2017 21:56

It's poor behaviour not to apologise profusely tbh. I think I'd call her on it. Do you allow her boyfriend to stay over then?

dollydaydream114 · 23/01/2017 22:06

She didn't tell you the truth about how it happened because she's embarrassed. Who wouldn't be?

She didn't offer to pay for it because she's on an au pair's salary and it would take such a massive chunk out of her wages that she simply can't afford it.

I wouldn't make her pay for the damage, personally. It was an accident that happened while two grown ups were (probably) shagging and she's mortified about it. I feel really sorry for her, personally.

NuffSaidSam · 23/01/2017 22:11

The problem is you don't know that she lied to you.

If she always leans heavily on the sink then it could have been something that's been happening slowly over the year and finally given way.

Her boyfriend could have sat on it/stood on it and not told her....she leaned on it and it gave way.

Have you had a plumber/builder/cleaner in there at any point...they could have weakened it and she leaned on it and it fell.

Maybe they were shagging on it earlier in the day/week and weakened it and then she leaned on it and it fell.

There are several ways it could have happened that she leaned on it whilst brushing her teeth and it fell....like she said. It's far from impossible so unless she has form for lying/you have proof, I don't think you can assume she's lying.

domestichiefofstaff · 23/01/2017 22:13

Totally annoying but did you really expect her to confess to a crime of sexual acrobatics up against a sink? The wicked part of me would want to do a big wink and say that you and DP had done that once ..... knowing smile and how about going halves on the cost!!!! But the risk is that she'll pack her bags and run like the wind!!!

Bluntness100 · 23/01/2017 22:15

You can't really say anything as you have no proof and I'm assuming you want her to look after your kids for the next few weeks. Don't cause bad feeling.

To be fair it could have fallen off the wall, it may have been installed incorrectly and it bent the brackets as it came off. It wouldn't be the first time something like that has happened,

Alternatively she was shagging on it and she's not going to in a million years tell you that. So you'll never know and need to go with what she said.

Justaboy · 23/01/2017 22:36

I would have thought that it should have taken the stresses of 'err someone using in in an undue manner. Question?, did it fracture the hot and cold water pipes?.

Go on post a picture of the said damage:!.

Original poster

Pigsinablanket · 23/01/2017 22:49

pipes are still intact .
Yes the brackets are supposed to support 150 kgs of weight apparently
No photo im tucked up in bed .

OP posts:

JellyTipisthebest · 23/01/2017 23:16

If the brackets only support 150 kg and it too two people to lift it there and been up for two years it might of just worked lose. You are lucky that she wasn't hurt. it may have happenend just as she said

blueshoes · 23/01/2017 23:39

Without proof, you have to accept her version of the story and not charge her for the damage.

However, I would not let her have her boyfriend stay over again. Were your children in the house when her boyfriend was here, possibly shagging her in the bathroom? If so, you are a bigger person than me.

llangennith · 23/01/2017 23:46

If I broke a sink by shagging I'd never admit it to my employer! If she's an otherwise good au pair just get it fixed. If she's a rubbish au pair get rid if her and get it fixed. And tell the new au pair about it as a warning.

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