Sorry if this offends anyone but...... 'plump' nannies?

[sunnyjim]

Is it just us or are nanny's generally 'plump'? (okay in this specific case I'm talking fat really, size 18+)

We have a new nanny, not started yet, but doing the odd half day alongside me to check that we all get along.

I just have concerns about her ability to deal with DS (active 22 month old) on a day to day basis. She finds it difficult to get up or down from the floor and I found I had to slow my pace massively when we went out to the park today.

I guess a part of me thinks that if she has a weight problem, does this reflect in her willpower/ self motivation in other areas?
Will she feed him decent food?
Will she take him to active sporty things (which he loves) or focus on sitting sitll crafty things (which he hates)

i think sunnyjim is being a wee bit harsh to her (already employed) nanny.

I think sunnyjim should weigh the nanny on the door at the beginningf and end of the day, and deduct the difference in the price of biscuits.

that, however, raises a new problem... will nanny make sure she arrives at work with a full bladder and leaves with an empty one, to ensure she can take advantage of Unlimited Cake?

christ this thread is a piss take surely?!
am i the only person here who thinks the word "plump" is the most patrionising word to describe an over weight person? im a size 24 and i am fat!! im not f**in "plump" !jesus what a stupid word to call someone!
why did you hire this lady if you werent sure of her capabilities?

fwiw,being a size 24 does not stop me running around after my 2 teenagers and the 5 kiddies i childmind every day,infact they do more physical activity with me in one day than they do all week at home,they are also fed a healthy varied diet!

plump?....................honestly!!!!

Where's sunnyJ? Cleaning out the biscuit jar before nanny comes tomorrow!!!

Sunnyjim,

Right, ok, I can see where you're coming form with the 'my nanny seems to have a problem with moving quickly enough to keep up with my active child' part of your post. It is reasonable to expect your nanny to be able to react quick enough to ensure your son's safety.

The second half of you o.p however made me so so cross. I wonder if it has occured to you that a person of 'normal' size/weight could have issues with motivation and willpower too. I know people who would be termed 'skinny' by some, who exist on a diet of crisps, chocolate and coca cola. They may well lack the willpower/motivation to eat a healthy, balanced diet (I wouldn't know, it's none of my business) would you suspect this may reflect their 'willpower / self motivation in other areas' as well?

Being 'slim' is also no guarantee that a person will enjoy active sporty things over sitting still crafty things either.

The 'will she feed him decent food' part is the bit that really really upset me though. (I am being deadly serious) You may have guessed I am an overweight nanny/nursery nurse. I am deeply offended that you would assusme that a nanny might feed a child any food their parents wish them not to eat ON THE SOLE BASIS THAT SHE HERSELF IS OVERWEIGHT !!!!!

I am fat. I am not stupid. I know what constitutes a healthy diet. Any nanny who is worth employing will behave in a professional manner and will adhere strictly to ANY wishes expressed by the parents.

Ok to answer you opening question "No" not all nannies are generally 'plump' as you politely put it.

FWIW As a nanny for 15 years I haven't been bigger than a size 10 with the exception of when I was pregnant. Many of my nanny friends are the same.

Did you hire her because you are insecure about your own body size?

Don't want another woman to tempt your DH?

Saw your thread about your low sex drive.... wouldn't want DH and his high sex drive around a pretty thin young nanny now would you!!

Hire the best person to care for your child not the one who makes you feel better about yourself!!

FWIW
I always gave the children meals and food directed and provided by the parents.

Played what they wished to play.

Cared for the children and disciplined the children as the parents wished.

quick hijack - nightynight, hello

Oh - and FWIW - Even wee size 8 me cant be arsed to run around after DS all the time, and i prefer to do sit down things with him - i work at night so like to conserve my energy, if i ran about all day and then went to work all night i'd collapse!

So weight is really no bearing on fitness or energy levels.

Oh, and i eat a lot of crap as well. Drink about 8 cans of coke a day, but DS is only ever fed the best things, fresh fruit and veg etc, and is banned from even touching my cans of coke so he knows they are forbidden.

Its really of no relevance what you look like to what you do.

Oh my goodness. As a nanny i have to say i'm quite offended by this thread. As other s have said, why have you hired her/been doing half days if you were concerned about her weight? How would it feel to have your weight talked about on a public forum, if you had no idea about it? How would it feel to have your parenting skills out under the microscope if you were over weight. Ok so she may not have rushed up as quick as you, but does that mean she can't do her job...i very much doubt it. Tbh, i actually hope she turns YOU down!

I was a skinny nanny when I was 18 and I was crap.

of course the other thing is when under the nanny's supervision and guidance your child may actually learn to love all activities and not scarper off and clamber on things.

Also if your nanny took a while to get off the floor to fetch your son from the table which he climbed onto whilst you were in the room maybe instead of sitting back and watching you should have prevented/rescued your son if you felt he was in danger. After all she hasnt allowed him to do these things

My nanny is a larger lady and she's got loads of get up and go. Yes she does arty stuff with the dses(2.3 and 1.3) (which she is brilliant at and they love) but I'm glad that she does because it helps their concentration levels. She takes them out walking and/or softplay and/or swimming every day. I've never seen her out of breath.

You really would be doing this poor woman a favour by not taking her on. Let her find a far less judgemental employer. I will bet you any money she can tell that you are sizing her up and watching her every move (in a very negative way) and she probably feels very uncomfortable.

Or perhaps you should tell her what your concerns are. But I doubt you will.

I presume that you actually met the woman before you hired her? And I presume that your eyesight is good enough that you could see her before you hired her?

So, to echo MrsJC, if you have issues around size, and such clear ideas of what a healthy size is, why the hell did you hire her?

Have you thought that it might be good for your child to do things with a new person which he isn't used to doing/doesn't think he likes? Most children can enjoy an arty/musical/sporty activity whether they are naturally good at it or not, if the adult in charge is enthusiastic and engaging. I think it's sad when a small child is pigeonholed into "sporty" or "arty" - it usually reflects the parents' proclivities rather tham the child's. I think children should be encouraged to have a go at lots of different things while they are young.

I find your comments pretty unattractive too, I'm afraid. I wouldn't work for someone who had attitudes like that. I hope you're not teaching your children to make supercilious value judgements about people they barely know.

so..you are a size 16, but think someone 18+ is unable to look after a child!..shame on you!..pot calling kettle!
she could be fitter than you!
i weigh over 15stone and up to last week had 3 three year olds who were always shatterd at the end of our day

LOl at OP!!!..yes all nanny's AND childminders are plump, they have to be, its in their job description at training school, we get fed pies by the dozen, just so people can slag us off on a mums website, doncha know!

well, just to be awkward!!

I was a nanny for years and I was plumpish (am now plump without the ish)

anyway I always noticed nannies were generally roundish and employers were stick thin and pulled taught

I think if I was now employing someone to look afetr my kids their weight wouldn't be an issue

Dear Sunnyjim,
I am size 12, although I eat an awful lot of shit, I am permanently exhausted to the point where I have no energy to do anything at all with my 4 DCs, and have depressive tendancies. My friend is size goodness knows what, but huge, open, friendly and always chatty and smiling, and has just come back from a week's skiing with her DCs.

So Sunnyjim-nothing more to say?

OKay so 3 hrs sleep a night doens't make me the best person at working out how to say things in a way that doesn't cause offence.

So I apologise for offending anyone, if other people will likewise accept that I wasn't trying to be mean or nasty I was just trying to express my concerns about a possible childcarer for DS.

So to address a couple of specific points:

I havn't yet hired her, we are doing some half days because I believe that you can't judge a person's ability to do a job until you have seen them in action.

I would have no concerns about her weight if it didn't appear to be affected her physical ability. Physical appearance isn't important, attitude and ability is. And her ability to do certian aspects of the job seemed to be compromised by her weight.

My concerns about food were based on the fact that when we had lunch/went out for coffee she had suger/chocolate and had them at lunch in our kitchen too. Please dont' get all wound up again at this point! My issue with this was we DON'T have sugar or sweets or crisps left out in the house. We dont' have a suger bowl or anything like that. However without asking she poured suger into a bowl so she could add it into her cups of tea, and then left the bowl on the table. DS is in the 'grabby if you have it I want it' stage (22 months) and if he saw suger being added to her food/drink I'm concerned he would want it himself.
In the past with a previous nanny we had the same issue as nightynight (hope I got that poster's name right), nanny was size 18+ and used to deny DS a pudding because she would only have an apple for after lunch so thats what he got. (and yes fruit is good but DS like msot kids needs a higher fat content in his diet than steamed veg, grilled fish and 1/4 of an apple provides)

So I was concerned about whether her weight issue would affect her attitude towards food.

As I said I fully recognise that women who are skinny can have equal issues with weight. the size 10 thing isn't my made up idea, its what we were taught based on medical weight charts. Of course I wouldn't question a fit happy size 10 woman. However we used to use that piece of information to support women who felt the had to get down to a size 10 - we'd point out that maybe it wasn't a 'healthy' weight for everyone because it was often right at the low end of the 'normal weight range' on medical charts.

Yes I want DS to experience a wide range of activities. However I also believe in helping a kid to learn by doing what they enjoy best, at 22 months he honestly just doesn't enjoy arty stuff, we try every now and again and its not as if we're a sporty family! DH trained in art and design and hardly knows what to do with a ball! and we have loads of crafty stuff around. I'd actually prefer a kid who liked sitting still, colouring and reading books on my lap - but DS ISN'T like that! he may well grow into it, but right now he likes to learn by doing. He likes to run around, feed the ducks, climb, go to big fun, learn to swim, play football, help you dust etc etc. He is a very physically orientated little boy and i want him to be supported in that.

Re cooking: I perfer to give the person in charge during the day some leeway, rather than say "you must cook this and nothing else". Part of the job is planning his meals, I'd then do the shopping based on her list.

I have no concerns that DH would want to shag a nanny, my best friend or anyone else, oddly enough i trust my husband and I know he loves me. But thanks for bringing my relationship/birth trauma/sex life into this unrelated discussion, I'm sure it gave you even more ammunition, not only did I call a women sized 18+ fat - I also have sexual problems following a traumatic birth and ongoing health problems of my son- dear god I am the spwan of satan!!!

(PS: to the person who accused me of watching my son put himself in danger just so i coudl catch the nanny out; I was in the kitchen in our open plan house a good 50 feet away from him when he climbed onto the table. I was trying to 'potter' and not interfere while she got to know him. I got to him quicker than she did (she was 5 ft away))

So my new nanny advert says:

wanted: fit and active nanny for active, sporty little boy, needs to be car driver or able to use alternative means to get to activities (i bike him over to soft play but she said she couldn't bike or walk that far).

So will you let this woman know that you don't want her? Please do it as soon as possible so that she doesn't waste any more time and can find herself another job.

Incidentally, my last nanny was a very trim size 10. She was the worst nanny in the history of the world (nothing to do with her size of course). Slim nanny doesnot necessarily = good nanny.

Sunnyjim, I'm sorry that you have had such a hard time, I do agree with a lot of posters that your OP was written in a tactless way though.
I also think you are just trying to get advice and canvass opinion about something that you are not quite sure about, like most of us do on MN at one time or other.
So to try and help:
I would also be worried if a prospective Nanny didn't look physically fit enough to keep up with my three active boys. I agree with your stance of letting him do what he enjoys rather than pushing him into acivities that he doesn't at the age of 22 months.
Most nursery teachers will tell you, that you can't force a child into enjoying activities at the age of 3, let alone 22 months.
I wouldn't be worried about their size per se, but more how fit they were.