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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Au pair always in the house

51 replies

Tertius · 12/10/2016 10:19

Our first au pair has now been with us for over a month and I would like some advice from those who have had au pairs. I'm a sahm (which definitely has an impact on how I'm finding the experience).

She is much older than standard - nearly 30 - and very helpful domestically, great at tidying and ironing etc. Pretty good with the kids - although not confident with my toddler which means I have stopped trying to leave the toddler with her as it's more stressful than it's worth.

The problem for me seems to be to do with expectations. She doesn't want to go out hardly at all. She will do school runs but otherwise prefers to be in the house. Sometimes she says she is unwell and stays in bed. Sometimes says she needs to study. It's starting to make me feel claustrophobic as I had naively assumed that someone coming here to au pair would make the most of being in central London! This one really is not. She could be anywhere really.

Anything she has done outside the house has been organised by me - language course, meeting other similarly aged au pairs.

Should I say something? Or just accept that this is how she wants to live? As it stands at present I don't feel I can keep this arrangement as it is after Christmas because I will go mad! I take full responsibility for not having found the right personality but she made all the right noises in interview about wanting to explore London / go out / meet people / get extra jobs. Once she arrived she explained how some things in her personal life back home had recently gone wrong and I realised she had come here to get away from home rather than for positive reasons.

I do need some kind of help with school runs because my kids are at different schools for complicated reasons. I'd love some mumsnet wisdom on this.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
allegretto · 20/11/2016 18:25

I thought au-pairs HAD to do a language course for the job to qualify as being an au-pair? I did it many years ago - school run in the morning, followed by language course, lunch and picking up kids in the afternoon seemed pretty common.

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