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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Started new 'nanny' job and hating it

38 replies

Scottishaupair · 08/09/2015 20:27

I started a nanny/mothers help roles yesterday and I'm hating it so far. I've only had 30 mins of childcare so far - obviously I know she'll want to suss me out before leaving her little ones with a stranger, but that seems very little for two shifts. She keeps referring to me as her nanny (she introduced me to the neighbour and her friend) but I seem to be doing more of a housekeeper job? I have all the household tasks to do - all the washing and ironing, making everyone's beds every day, making lunch, having their dinner ready to eat at 5pm when I leave etc. Do I quit whilst I'm ahead or keep going and give it a change? I came home yesterday and today dreading going in, I'm not sure if I need to give it a bit more time or if to just say it's not for me?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mabythesea · 08/09/2015 20:29

What were you expecting the job to be?

For a mother's help I would expect mostly household tasks and some childcare alongside the parent.

Original poster

Scottishaupair · 08/09/2015 20:32

I was expecting around a 50/50 split I think...

OP posts:

mabythesea · 08/09/2015 20:36

Do the parents work or do they just want an extra pair of hands?

To be honest in any mother's help role your boss will be unlikely to leave you with the kids straight off.

Duckdeamon · 08/09/2015 20:36

How old are the DC?

Original poster

Scottishaupair · 08/09/2015 20:43

The dad works but the mum is stay at home, so it's an extra pair of hands.

I knew they'd be unlikely to leave me with them straight from the off but there doesn't seem to be any suggestion of me getting left with them at all now. She said in the interview that I'd have them so she could go to the gym and run errands etc but she gets her mum to look after them 3 times a week ands goes to the gym then. She keeps talking about all the playgroups she's going to go to with the youngest whilst the eldest is at nursery so I have a free house to get on with things...

The kids are 1 and 3.

OP posts:

onthematleavecountdown · 08/09/2015 20:46

What was agreed in your interview, do you have a contract?

She may just be taking some time to trust you but I think you need to have a proper sit down and chat.

mabythesea · 08/09/2015 20:47

I would think about whether you want to be a mother's help, because this sounds fairly standard. It will probably be more than 2 days in before she leaves the kids with you while she goes to the gym.

QuiteLikely5 · 08/09/2015 20:49

It is quite silly to judge a job after one day. Give it a week at least!

Original poster

Scottishaupair · 08/09/2015 21:00

No contract yet. I'm on a trial just now so either party could walk away at any point. We agreed childcare and housework - mainly ironing on the household side of things. She's reducing the cleaners hours so I can pick up the slack there.

I did think it was silly to judge it after a day, but is it really worth being miserable over?! My boyfriend has said he's noticed I don't seem happy about it, he says with my last job I was tripping over myself to tell him about the day and now he can barely get a word out about it. Granted it's only two days in and my feeling may change about it.

OP posts:

mabythesea · 08/09/2015 21:04

What was your last job?

Original poster

Scottishaupair · 08/09/2015 21:32

I was an au pair abroad for two years. I loved it! I had sole charge of a 2yo, 4yo and 5yo though and very little household chores. Just tidying really.

OP posts:

mabythesea · 08/09/2015 21:40

Sounds like you want a sole charge nanny job rather than mother's help.

Anon2309 · 08/09/2015 21:44

A mother's help does most housework but she isn't a live in cleaner. If she's like that the first day, I'd run. If I'm having a stranger clean and take care of my kids in my house, I'd make sure my kids get to know them first. Not shy them away and then make them do shitloads of cleaning jobs.

Original poster

Scottishaupair · 08/09/2015 21:56

Sole charge nanny would be my ideal job, but they're mainly part time where I am and you tend to need childcare qualifications. I thought mothers help would have been good for a few years experience.

Thanks for the advice. I was a bit concerned about her reluctance to let them be with me. Like I get not leaving kids with strangers but even when she's in the room or the next room she's always calling them over and almost shooing them away from me.

OP posts:

mabythesea · 08/09/2015 22:00

You've only been there two days, so not surprising that you're not having much time with them yet.

If you want to get some experience, then I think you need to stick it out.

jclm · 08/09/2015 22:08

My advice is to stick it out. We employ a nanny and we gave the nanny easy jobs for the first few weeks while the kiddies got used to her. My youngest had separation anxiety so we took it slowly

whiteagle · 08/09/2015 22:13

Go with your gut feel. You are doing mainly a housekeeper job imo. Do you want to be a housekeeper?

Have you thought about training to be a nanny?

Uphillanddowndale12 · 08/09/2015 22:17

I think you have to go with your gut instinct. Life is too short to be unhappy. But, if you decide to leave this job spend some time thinking about what is important to you and what you really want in a job then try to go for it. Good luck

Original poster

Scottishaupair · 08/09/2015 22:45

No I don't want to be a housekeeper.

I would train to be a nanny but I can't afford it right now. I need a job to earn some money to save for a course. I graduated from uni 2 years ago so no funding.

I'm swinging wildly between 'I hate this job' and 'it could be alright in a few weeks' just now. It's only been two days so definitely too early to judge but I don't want to be coming home miserable for weeks!

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/09/2015 23:47

Generally I say trust your instinct but I would give it a week

Tho if the job is mothers help and mum doesn't work then tbh you are most likely going to do the jobs she hates around the home so that she can spend more time with her kids

MH rarely have sole charge and if do childcare then usually playing with kids while mum is there or looking after them while mum goes out - but in the home

if you really want to work with children then again stick it out as you are unlikely to find a sole charge nanny job if you don't have any quals and last job was an ap role abroad

Try and stay a year and get a reference and try and get a childcare qual as well

Saying all that life is too short to be in a job you are miserable in but will you find another job / can you afford not to work if you just leave

BrandNewAndImproved · 09/09/2015 00:08

It sounds like your the cleaner op!

Duckdeamon · 09/09/2015 07:08

You are assuming you couldn't get a nanny job with your current qualifications and experience but with your sole charge experience au pairing you might well be able to: you never know if you don't try! Some parents would prefer practical experience and might like you and want you as their nanny even without specific qualifications.

If jobs are PT you could study further or find extra work with your days off.

Why not stay in this job just while you start applying for nanny ones and see what response you get?

I don't think your bf is being helpful: the first few days haven't gone well but it's not generally a good idea to quit immediately with nothing to go to.

NannyR · 09/09/2015 08:21

With regards to you not having any qualifications; I've worked as a sole charge nanny for nearly twenty years and I only have level 2 training. After a while, your experience and good references, sort of overtake the need for qualifications.

If I were you, I would stick it out for a couple of months (although i know from experience that that can be hard when you are not enjoying your job) and get that all important reference. Try to do the qualification needed to enable you to be ofsted registered and your first aid training. Thinking back, I used references from babysitting jobs and helping to run Sunday school at church when applying for my first job - is there any voluntary stuff you could do outside of work to build up your experience?

I don't think you would have a problem finding another job, although you might have to join up two part times. You could have a chat with some agencies to see what the job market is like in your area.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/09/2015 08:45

What did you do at uni?

Try and get a common core skills - that may help and is cheap and easy to get

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 09/09/2015 09:51

Stick it out a bit longer. You also need to get familiar with the household stuff too and it always takes a bit longer while you figure out a house.

In a week or two use your initiative if things haven't improved and suggest a tidy up and sort of the toys for example. Ask if you can help to feed the 1 yr old, sit and have your lunch with the kids when they eat.

Ask her lots of questions too. What is she feeding the kids, can you get involved in prepping their meals. Lots of women are really territorial about their children and don't want them to become attached in any way to their nanny/childminder. She's had two kids and so has lots of experience you can learn and build from.

Yes I understand that it's disappointing. On the upside if she is telling the world and its mother than you are the "nanny" if you do move on in a few months it may be easier to sell yourself as one if you work in a small community.

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