Started new 'nanny' job and hating it

[Scottishaupair]

I started a nanny/mothers help roles yesterday and I'm hating it so far. I've only had 30 mins of childcare so far - obviously I know she'll want to suss me out before leaving her little ones with a stranger, but that seems very little for two shifts. She keeps referring to me as her nanny (she introduced me to the neighbour and her friend) but I seem to be doing more of a housekeeper job? I have all the household tasks to do - all the washing and ironing, making everyone's beds every day, making lunch, having their dinner ready to eat at 5pm when I leave etc. Do I quit whilst I'm ahead or keep going and give it a change? I came home yesterday and today dreading going in, I'm not sure if I need to give it a bit more time or if to just say it's not for me?

I have just stopped having a mother's help after three years and often thought it wasn't a job I would want to do. It's really a job for someone in their late teens or early twenties who is gaining experience, either for a job in childcare or to be a SAHM. Or possibly for a cleaner who would like the odd bit of variety.

Basically, you are there to free up the parent. She isn't going to want to be freed up to clean the bathroom. She will want you to clean the bathroom so she can read a story. Or go to the gym. In my experience of mother's helps (had four), the job is partly what you make it. If someone is very good with children and they're happy to see her, you make a point of giving them an hour with her. If their strengths lie in cooking and cleaning but not really childcare, you minimise the amount of childcare they do. Either way, you're not a professional child carer so will be seen as a big sister figure to the children and have to earn responsibility to look after them - a bit like an au pair.

You were probably very naive to expect a 50:50 split and I wonder if you know much about looking after children and running a house. You surely didn't expect the mum to clean while you looked after the children? At the same time, you're likely to end up with at least a little more childcare than you currently get. But yes, i would think it's entirely normal to take the children out for the morning so the mother's help can fly through what needs to be done.

Just to point out that some people would rather scrub the bathroom than take a toddler to soft play

You make a valid point actually tread

Is anyone else just green with envy at this mum's life? She has a cleaner, a mother's help, parents who want to help out with the children so she can go to the gym and run errands AND no job. I'm so green I look like Grotbags.

I keep telling myself that she's married to a wealthy high maintenance type who'd run off with his PA if she wasn't available at his whim at all times and super slim too....

Tread, that makes me feel marginally better. Thank you.

Is it the mums first time having help? She could be unused to it

It sounds a normal mh role to me (sorry)

Hi- I worked as a nanny for twenty years and now a teacher. You have a degree and good experience, references from your previous position so don't feel the need to stay for a good reference as sometimes you just know that the job is not right for you. I think you would be better getting part time work as a nanny. Families find it hard to get someone part- time and as someone else said you could combine two posts. This is not the job you thought it was and you are on trial. I have been in this position myself and knew that I was good with children and didn't want to be a cleaner so left within a week. I was then allowed to sign on in those days(may have changed now) as it was a trial. As it was I got a super job straight away with a family I loved and stayed for many years. Life is too short and you need to be fulfilled....and as you have a degree you could always look into teacher training- in a year you would be qualified. Good luck

Oh yes and I now looking for a nanny unfortunately not in your area. I would overlook qualifications for experience and someone with good references who we all liked....sorry to go on - one last thing is try the schools and nurseries as they will pay for your training and find it hard to get staff who are enthusiastic. You would be snapped up in suffolk!

Thanks for the responses. Ive had a much better time since I posted, and I was actually quite disappointed when I left on Friday that I was off for two days! It's amazing what a difference a few days makes. The housework is decreasing/getting easier every day as I know what needs to be done so I'm flying through it, and the kiddie involvement is increasing every day which is suiting me! I'm planning to stick it out for a few months at least to find my feet back in the UK, then I'll look for a sole charge nanny position, even if it's part time. I'm also planning to save to do some childcare qualifications which should help too. I think the adjustment period from my last job to this one was tougher than I thought it was going to be, I'm not naive and I did know it would be hard, but it was way harder than first expected!

Glad you are enjoying more - and maybe as she is getting used to you that you get more childcare duties

It might have been partly a case that she'd been dying for the help, and just needed the house getting up to scratch and now that it's more ordered etc, she's happy to relax a bit.