Son started with a childminder today-he was very, very naughty

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

DS2 is 3 in 2 weeks. He had his first full day with a new childminder today and apparently he was very naughty and she had to speak to him sternly several times. I started a new job today and now I'm worried the childminder will cancel on me. How long do childminders usually give for settling in before deciding if it's not working? I'm feeling a bit anxious now.

Gudrun a cm (and indeed any childcare provide following the EYFS) is not allowed to even threaten corporal punishment, this includes humiliating a child.

Disciple doesn't mean punishment. physical or otherwise it means setting clear appropriate boundaries, and working on maintaining those boundaries. You can do that without any form of punishment involved.

It's only been 1 day. As a childminder I would be monitoring how his behaviour pans out over the next week or so and would be keeping you informed at the end of the day of any particular positive or negative events.
If you give the childminder a little bit more time she may well work with you regarding setting up some approaches that you can both support each other on ie. reward charts, warnings and thinking time, distraction. Whatever seems like it would work for you and your son.
Most of what you have listed I would regard as unwelcome behaviour but behaviour that may well be improved by your son learning what boundaries apply ie climbing on furniture, banging on the hutch.
The bolting would have a zero tolerance from me. He would be on reins and holding my hand until he proved I could trust him to walk safely.
I would also not be happy with the laughing when being told off. It could be just because it is so new to him.

The accusations of 'nasty childminder' on this thread surely stem from the impression that she had called the OP's DS 'really really naughty'? She didn't do any such thing, just said he hadn't behaved well. OP, this is a storm in a tea cup, if you have a good feeling about this CM, explain your DS is having a tricky time then let her do her job.

Ok I just needed reassurance that the CM won't be cancelling on me based on today's behaviour. We'll have to see how the next week goes.

I would say to your CM "How can we work on these things together?" a parent wanting to work together and provide consistency will be music to her ears!

One you are not a failure

Two - tell cm what has been happening in your life

Three - cm won't give notice after one day

Did you have any settling in periods?

He is probably testing boundaries - quite normal - and cm will have to say no over certain issues - one being no running off and tomorrow cm will hopefully hold his hand firmly - use reins - put in
Buggy and explain why she is doing it

In the short term, it is absolutely essential for him to wear reins on the school run due to the danger.

If she doesn't want to mind him then could he go back to nursery? Sometimes nurseries are more equipped to deal with a bigger range of children/behaviour. At 3, it did the world of good for my ds. My dd would have been fine anywhere but nursery really helped my ds.

as a mum of two and a trainee childminder i would say she needs to be more understanding! I am still in full time work(not childminding) and have a minder for my 1 year old - i would want to know if there were issues but i know she would be understanding especially considering the first day and other issues going on! I think if you feel uncomfortable have a scout about for someone else but if not then discuss with her some options - explain he hasn't come into contact with some of these things so he is testing them. Sounds like he has reverted a bit if he is bolting for her (possibly use reigns for his safety)
Realistically she should be being open and honest with you but also helping provide solutions and being understanding!
I know what its like to feel like a failure recently i have been felling it alot returning to work, but you have a health child that you are doing your best for in no way is that Failing! Chin Up Hun - Hugs!x

Ask to have a chat with her. Be honest with her and ask for her to be honest with you

Tell her that you know he can be difficult but that you want to work with her to get the best outcomes

I'm a nanny and I think I would do the same as your childminder but with good reason ( and hopefully more tactful!)
It's mainly because I wouldn't want you to get home then have to hear all about how mean I was and how all I did all day was tell off your DC (which I think would then lead to similar stress of 'what have I put my DC through all day'). To me that doesn't sound like a nightmare settling-in day just one with a 3 year old getting used to a new place, new people and new rules.

DS2 was only with CM for an hour today but she said he was fine. I spoke to her briefly in the morning and said that DS2 was wilful but I was happy for her to use whatever sanctions she thought necessary. She was fine and said it would take time for them to get used to each other. So feeling a bit more relaxed about it all.

Phew! Bet you feel better now. Glad it was OK...

i'd rather the cm told me what he did than say everything was fine if it wasn't . Honesty is key and kindness. Safer for all if he is accepting that the cm is in charge . Best wishes op as you continue your journey into a new life. Hopefully your cm will be a good support for your s and you.

I would hope a two year old was wilful, tbh. He's bloody two.
Obviously they have to be safe Nd be in control, but labelling the behaviour as naughty or wilful seems like projecting ideas that aren't there onto it.

That sounds positive OP! Hope it all works out