New au pair is soooo annoying!!

[Newconnecticut]

Omg!! What do I do? 4 days and she is so annoying. I just have this gut reaction. Ok- I'm bad and I changed schedule this am - and asked if she could watch my 3 year old boy - and she was happy to do it- but then looked at her fancy sort of see through lingere and said but what to do I I'm not dressed?!?! What do you do? Gosh I have no idea. She has already done her nails done super fancy twice snd we live in the country with two boys under 3. Hello?! I found her yesterday sitting with her legs crossed dangling idolly and nicely watching by 3 year old seriously wrestling my 12 month old - who happened to be very dehydrated and red faced-- my imagination or she will learn?

It sounds like she needs a little bit of guidance and instruction.

Sounds to me very like an au pair doing a nanny's job.

Chottie- thank you that is the reality. My emotions are flying somehow on this unusually so. Maybe it is having someone live in the house

Finally here, Is there a difference between au pair and nanny?

We have had two previous au pairs and they worked out-

Ah, a 3 year old and a 12 month old baby. With the au pair. Yep, sounds like she is doing the job of a nanny unless you or the dc's other parent are at home with the dc for the majority of the time the au pair is on duty.

An au pair shouldn't have sole charge of a 12 month old. What country are you in?

We are in the U.S. The age spread we have is hard- actually 15 month and 4- two strong boys- but good boys- need lots of exercise in dirt playground kind of thing I think- I thought an au pair is the same as nanny- love and play and do whatever the boys need

It is a challenging age combination I personally think- and this nice fancy girl I think has no experince

Au pairs look after older kids - usually from school age in the UK?

Au pairs aren't nannies.
Nannies are trained professionals mainly, au pairs are generally young people visiting another country to learn about the culture and to assist you in childcare related tasks.
They are just big kids themselves.

You just answered your own question why on earth hire someone so young with no experience if it's 'challenging' to you at least?!

It is a challenging age combination I personally think- and this nice fancy girl I think has no experince

I am slightly worried for your kids to be honest. does she have first aid experience? does she know what to do in an emergency when you're not there? would you leave the kids alone with her?

personally I'd hire a nanny instead and get rid (that sounds harsh) of the au pair.

I au paired in France when I was 17 and had sole charge of a 4month old baby and a 3 year old boy for nearly 12 hours a day during the working week. Thinking now I was a bit exploited!!

How old is the older child? First if all you say they are both under three, so that means he is two. Then you say he is three, then finally that he's four.

Rogan the older child is 3, its stated in OP.

maybe OP means 3 meaning almost 4- eg he'll be 4 soon

Maybe, in which case it's just the 'under three' which doesn't make sense. Unless that means something different to how I use it. Just makes quite a bit of difference to situation I think, which none is the typo!

*one!
Thanks phone.

An au Pair is not really experienced enough to be in sole care or such young children. An au pair is more of a mothers help type role, school pick ups and drop off, babysitting etc. like a big sister type, a young girl wanting to travel and learn a language whilst earning pocket money.

A nanny is experienced and Holds a childcare qualification.

They take sole charge of the children, whilst parents are at work. they will cover all aspects of care for the Child and baby and nursery dutys.

A nanny is more then someone to play with your child.

I'd add to what Milk says - if you're an au pair you sometimes do stuff with the mother (or father) so you're around quite literally to 'help'.

I am still saying again - when you recruited her or interviewed her did she say she had no experience or you didn't ask her? at the very least I'd expect someone with a bit of experience.

when I was 15/16 I was a live-out au pair in school holidays and after school for a friend/neighbour, but I'd also studied the baby for a child care qualification at school and also did a first aid Red Cross certificate which included children. So I knew all about reflexes etc, what to do if an accident etc, when they're teething. and I often did stuff with the mother so she could see what I was doing. so when she went to work (she had her own business with her DH but didn't work all the time) she was confident about leaving the kids (2.5 year old and a then 1 year old) with me - for a few hours, by myself.

In the UK an au pair cannot have sole charge of under 5's

A nanny is a trained professional with qualifications

An au pair is on a cultural exchange who will help with school drop offs and pick up with babysitting and light housework in return for food and lodging

I've had a nanny pre school and now I have au pairs as my kids are in school and don't need the level of care that a nanny would provide

Off topic but I would have loved to go to the states as an aupair when I was young.
Missed opportunities.
I would have been similarly clueless .

If you thought a nanny and an au pair were the same thing, why have you opted to hire an au pair? Cheaper?

Au Pairs are much, much cheaper because they are not professional child carers and are not expected to be. They are there to learn about the culture, language etc while doing a bit of mum's help stuff in return for bed, board and pocket money.

If you want/need a nanny, hire one.

Thank you everyone! Thank you. I changed ages cause I didn't want to hurt au pairs feelings if she saw this- it us not her fault. She is kind and good. I very much appreciate everyone writing. I have never used an Internet website like this and so thankful for you all. The most important thjbgs I realize is to treat her well here and figure it out:)