New au pair is soooo annoying!!

[Newconnecticut]

Omg!! What do I do? 4 days and she is so annoying. I just have this gut reaction. Ok- I'm bad and I changed schedule this am - and asked if she could watch my 3 year old boy - and she was happy to do it- but then looked at her fancy sort of see through lingere and said but what to do I I'm not dressed?!?! What do you do? Gosh I have no idea. She has already done her nails done super fancy twice snd we live in the country with two boys under 3. Hello?! I found her yesterday sitting with her legs crossed dangling idolly and nicely watching by 3 year old seriously wrestling my 12 month old - who happened to be very dehydrated and red faced-- my imagination or she will learn?

Jackie you can still do it! Come help me! :o

Can you write her a list of your expectations?

As others have said, she needs guidance and clear instructions. Focus on the things that are the most important to you about how she takes care of the children and be prepared to let some less important things slide for a while.

Ah times have changed...as a 19 year old au pair I was in sole charge of a...wait for it...four week old

I think you are irresponsible leaving children that young with someone with no experience. What did you think would happen?

The au pair programme is completely different in the U.S. - it's very regulated and participants need to have childcare experience. They are allowed to work up to 45hrs a week, so it's more similar to a live in junior nanny role, albeit with mandatory education part.

OP - you're probably better posting on a U.S. site. Although, it's very important with any au pair/nanny to make expectations clear initially.

Pico2, yes agree. The au pair agency as well as her written application and verbal interview she said she had experince. I thought the agency confirmed this but I suppose it is not always really possible. I have notifed the agency as of tonight that she needs to be removed because we went to the pool together this evening snd she did not keep our non swimming child within 20 feet of her. Good thing I was there and got pictures. Well intentioned but not good for this age group. Hard cause I'd like to give her a chance but thank you for Your words everyone on this post. Very helpful.

There is no U.K. Rules on age limits for au pairs to mind. It's personal choice to leave a baby with then or not.

Do you have a local au pair agency that you recruited the au pair through? I am in the U.S. and au pair exchanges here are regulated by the State Department via local agencies that vary depending on what area you are in. There should be a local counselor at the agency whose job it is to mediate between you and your au pair. They also ensure that the au pairs are not asked to work beyond the maximum 30 hours a week or left in sole charge of too many children etc. An au pair is more like a mothers help rather than a stand alone childcare resource.

1. Caring for a 1 and a 3 year old alone without parental supervison is totally within the US au pair regulations (AP can watch children older than 3 months without a parent present).
2. There is no "max. 30 hrs week" in the US - it's 45 hrs/week, no more than 10 hrs/day.
3. An au pair in the US is NOT a mothers help. It is a stand alone childcare resource - for up to 5 children (at least that used to be the max).

OP, you made a bad choice when picking an au pair.
It seems you didn't screen well - you cannot solely rely on the written application and references, that is why you need to cross all your ts and dot all your is in matching. You need to ask questions! Has she ever been in sole charge of a 1 and a 3 year old? What did she do? Nighttime babysitting will not be enough. A two-week internship in a daycare is not sufficient.
Being an AP is also not fancy. Neither is "see through lingere" appropriate when providing childcare.

It also seems you didn' coach well. If you and your au pair go to the pool together you need to tell her that she is in charge, that she can't let the child out of reach (20 feet? it's not enough to keep a non swimming child within 20 feet - arms reach!). Au pairs will not learn by not being instructed on how you want your child to be handled. That is what the orientation days during which you are supposed to coach them are for (3 first work days).
"and I changed schedule this am" - also not okay. Give your ap (if you get another one) a set schedule. Yes, flexible child care but not making changes that morning.

Are you a first time host mom? Please go to aupairmom.com and read up on how to pick and how to coach your au pair. Please!

And how much are US au pairs paid?