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Original poster

Would you hire an obese nanny?

80 replies

DontFearTheSweeper · 23/04/2015 19:33

Just that, really. I've had a phone interview for a new job and she would like to meet me for a face to face one. I now have a bit of crippling anxiety that as soon as she sees me she won't be interested.

It doesn't affect my work, I still run around in the garden with kids, go for a 1.5hr walk every morning; the kids eat really well with lots of fresh vegetables and I cook everything from scratch and eat with them. We talk about why it's important to develop a healthy relationship with food and about all the good things we're putting into our bodies.
Since I started with them I know they've seen me get fitter and healthier, I have a really long way to go still but I know I'll get there in the end and I'm not giving up.
But I'm so worried that as soon as a new family meets me they won't want me looking after their children, will think I'll pass on bad eating habits to them etc.
I don't know how I'll ever find a new job with this panic coming over me every interview.

Thanks for any advice.

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Preminstreltension · 26/04/2015 16:08

I wouldn't raise it. It's hardly a major issue for you and you manage your life well.

My super skinny nanny is not at all energetic, eats atrocious crap and can't cook. But she's been with me for eight years is fab and loving and reliable and adores the children.

meadowquark · 27/04/2015 09:27

Size 22... No problem! I would hire. Probably around size 28+ would start worry me a bit about your energy levels. My DS's favourite staff in his nursery was on the bigger size. In general, it is about your personality, not weight.

threegoingonthirty · 27/04/2015 19:56

Having reflected on this thread, I think the thing that would make me nervous is that I've been a size 20, and I know that I was lethargic, not very energetic and was less good with the kids than now, at a size 16 (which I realise is also technically obese!). So I'd be projecting my previous experiences on you and you may be better with an employer who lacks hangups about her own weight! I think a plan to raise it briefly at the end of the interview is pro-active and helpful and would impress me.

Canyouforgiveher · 27/04/2015 20:05

My last nanny (well summer nanny) was obese. I hired her because I connected with her at interview and her previous employer raved about her. She worked for us for 4 summers, was brilliant, is still friends with my girls, was highly active with them. I raved about her to her current employers and I am sure they are thrilled with her.

Lovelydiscusfish · 27/04/2015 20:08

Wouldn't put me off at all! One of my dd's favourite workers at nursery is probably a similar size, and I'd hire the woman in a heart-beat as a nanny if I could afford to.
In terms of a role model for my daughter, I'm far more concerned about a couple of the (already slim) staff who seem obsessed with achieving very dramatic weight-loss, to be honest! But I don't say anything, as what they do in their own time is none of my business, and I've no reason to think they try to persuade dd that it's important for women to diet drastically and be really really thin - I'm sure they wouldn't do that.
It's worth mentioning in your interview that you will include focus on healthy eating, being active etc, and how you will do this - but then that would be a good thing to talk about whatever size you are.
Good luck!

ChrisQuean · 27/04/2015 20:24

Honestly? I'd have to see you in action if you were otherwise a good fit for my family. Your size would be a consideration for me.

I have two DSs of 2 and 4 whose hobbies are football, scooting, swimming and climbing. Id want the nanny to be fine with going swimming (individually) with them. I'd be looking for someone who could fit through those roller things at soft play if you needed to retrieve my children!

I've been in the position of interviewing a very large lady for a nanny job, with excellent references, but she was out of breath when she arrived from the bus stop and it put me off. DH was dead against and in the end there was s better candidate. Our house is on 4 floors with the boys' bedroom on the top floor, so general fitness was an issue for us. I'd be concerned also to check healthy eating and diet matters. You do sound like a lovely caring nanny

CrispyFern · 27/04/2015 20:25

I would hire whoever I thought was kindest. So your weight would not be a consideration for me.

lemonyone · 27/04/2015 20:34

I would, and have, hired the kindest nannies. And someone who would be willing to do fun activities with my DCs - say - toddler group in the morning and park in the afternoon. I'm a firm believer that toddlers and kids are helicoptered too much by parents so I've always wanted my DCs to explore for themselves at the park and not be chased around by my nanny.

Having said that, I befriended a nanny who was very obese who lived opposite us, and I really noticed how little she did with the DS. I did feel sorry for him. We'd always be off to the library or go frog-catching but he would be stuck indoors. I always figured though that it was because she was a nervous person, rather than her obesity. She was remarkably kind and sweet person.

So no - it wouldn't put me off, but I was pretty 'strict' about what I'd expect a nanny to be doing during the day. Lots of fun and cuddles etc.

Olbersparadox · 27/04/2015 22:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 28/04/2015 10:59

Sorry - yes it would put me off simply because I've had an overweight nanny in the past and even though it was causing her some fairly serious health issues and chronic pain she couldn't/wouldn't lose weight. She eventually decided to give up working for us and take time off to lose the weight. She wasn't active at all, would take the bus at any opportunity and would never kick a ball around, go swimming or take the girls to anything vaguely sporty as an activity. She would not eat anything all day and then binge on biscuits or something nice in the house. It's a really bad message for children, especially for girls.

She was a fantastic nanny, great with the kids and produced amazing food and they'll eat/try anything which is great but they've noticeably lost weight since she left due to portion size as far as we can see.

All that said, if you were the best candidate for the job I wouldn't prefer a slim nanny over one that clearly would do well with my children. I would like them to grow up active though and it's one of our key criteria now to find a nanny who will encourage that.

In your shoes, [provided it was true] I'd just make a clear statement about what your personal aims are if asked what you like to do in your spare time for example but also how you carry that through with your work so you are eating responsibly around the children [not having a can of red bull and starving yourself all day] etc.

Artandco · 28/04/2015 11:11

It would be a consideration tbh. I would take on a month trial period ( as I would any nanny tbh), but would want to make sure they were up to the job. Would need to walk several miles a day, 5 floors up and down to our flat without lift, and generally keep up with sporty children. Maybe not right but Would also need to fit in the back of car between x2 car seats if car is full and be able to fly alone with baby on lap potentially.

theyoniwayisnorthwards · 28/04/2015 11:18

Your size would not be a consideration for me unless you seemed physically fragile or very unfit. I would be looking for someone I can trust to be kind and keep them safe first and foremost. Good luck!

Nanny13 · 02/05/2015 19:30

Would it make a difference if the Nannies references stated how active she was, that she done loads of activities with the kids, went to parks, day trips etc?

Would you employ an obese nanny then??

I'm obese, size 24/26 and currently having no luck looking for work.

I am so active and hate to sit around in the house

Nanny13 · 03/05/2015 12:43

Anyone?

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 03/05/2015 21:02

I'm a size 26/28...very active, in my last job I ran around after 5 children with no problems and we were constantly outside...I cook from scratch everyday and provide healthy balanced meals.

But, if I'm truly honest, I think my weight is the biggest reason I spent 10m unemployed...and if I hadn't been recommended from my previous employer for my current position, I don't think I'd have it.

I have excellent references, am ofsted registered, excellent cv, years of experience etc....and look great on paper(!) but my weight scares people off hiring me.

Which is bullshit because frankly I'm a crap ton more energetic then ALOT of nannies I know!

villainousbroodmare · 03/05/2015 21:15

I think you sound fabulous and I probably would hire you.

However, there is a perceived correlation between obesity and inactivity, and I think that you might need to clarify that you are pretty fit and run about and eat well and all of those things.

I liked Pink Pearl's closing statement. I do think it might be in people's minds as an issue, but they won't say it, and if you get any vibes of doubt I would definitely say something brief and confident like that.

FoodieMum3 · 10/05/2015 11:28

I would really need to think about it, and to be totally honest, it might be the deciding factor between you and another nanny, all else equal (personality, experience, qualifications etc).

I say this only because I used to be obese and remember what it feels like. I certainly did not have the required energy for small children.

QuintShhhhhh · 10/05/2015 11:34

One of the nannies in my sons school is very overweight, with an outlandish hairstyle, lots of tattoos, and piercings.

She has been with several families when nannying or baby sitting needs arise. She is never short of work. She is warm and friendly, and take children to fun activities, play dates, and pack great snack packs and packed lunches. (not that she keeps getting sacked, more like the needs in families have changed and word have gotten around that she is looking for new/more charges)

Muddymits · 10/05/2015 11:42

I think if you are turned down for this reason then you could be happy the family aren't a good match for you.

My sportiest friend who likes endless canoeing and trekking and all sorts is hugely overweight. She has had life long food issues but plenty of bounce and strength. I have tiny friends who can barely pant up stairs, I think you have to be a bit dim not to look at the person in front of you, the references and go from their. fWIW you sound lovely and vivacity, enthusiasm and honesty is a winning combination:)

Muddymits · 10/05/2015 11:42

Ahem go from 'there'!

Kaekae · 10/05/2015 11:45

I think I would. I know a childminder who is obese, she is fantastic, humerous and so loving to the children. They adore her. I would want someone who was loving and treated my children as their own in a caring way. My children are 5 and 7 so they don't want someone to always run around with them, they like to play with their friends at the park! Also, I'd be the one meal planning for my kids so I wouldn't have too many concerns about what my children would be getting fed.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 10/05/2015 11:54

I'm a size 10 and can't keep up with my 18 month old, so if you could keep up with her id be impressed whatever size you were!

Stealthpolarbear · 10/05/2015 11:58

about one quarter of the adult population is obese
surely some of those people also look for nannies. what I'm trying to say is you are not out of the ordinary

Cantkinsale · 10/05/2015 12:57

References from former employers are key here. They would be able to tell you how energetic(or not) the nanny is. I've been 22/24. Now a size 12, but, there are days when a size 16 or even an 18 are required due to stomach swelling issues. Nothing that affects my work I might add, that's just me. So don't judge on size alone.

Jackieharris · 10/05/2015 13:11

There's a huge difference between someone who's 5'2" and a size 22 and someone who's 5'10".

Which are you?

It also depends a lot on your frame/muscle mass and fitness.

Could you run after a child on a bike?

Could you play a game of tennis with them?

Could you carry a toddler a mile?

Can you run up the stairs 20 times a day?

Can you walk 5 miles a day?

Does your weight cause any other health problems such as joint pain/back pain?

It really isn't about your weight it's about your ability to do your job.