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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Would you hire an obese nanny?

80 replies

DontFearTheSweeper · 23/04/2015 19:33

Just that, really. I've had a phone interview for a new job and she would like to meet me for a face to face one. I now have a bit of crippling anxiety that as soon as she sees me she won't be interested.

It doesn't affect my work, I still run around in the garden with kids, go for a 1.5hr walk every morning; the kids eat really well with lots of fresh vegetables and I cook everything from scratch and eat with them. We talk about why it's important to develop a healthy relationship with food and about all the good things we're putting into our bodies.
Since I started with them I know they've seen me get fitter and healthier, I have a really long way to go still but I know I'll get there in the end and I'm not giving up.
But I'm so worried that as soon as a new family meets me they won't want me looking after their children, will think I'll pass on bad eating habits to them etc.
I don't know how I'll ever find a new job with this panic coming over me every interview.

Thanks for any advice.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Thatoneoverthere · 23/04/2015 20:13

Oh I worry about it constantly and with every thing (I'm sure you know the feeling)!!! :)
But at the same time I know I'm bloody good at my job and make sure that I do my bit in bringing up healthy, clever, confident and secure children.

Just remember its none of their business what you do with your body, I might be fat but I've had 4 sick days over 13 years, I turn up on time every day and give parents back happy kids.

tiggyhop · 23/04/2015 20:14

I would and I have. She cooked the children wonderful plain nursery food and was super active with them, she just had a poor diet herself.

Oly4 · 23/04/2015 20:23

Hire an obese fabulous nanny? Of course I would! If you were great with my kids and fed them well, if be chuffed to bits

Only1scoop · 23/04/2015 20:25

You sound fabulous

Yes I would

MarniRose · 23/04/2015 20:28

I absolutely couldn't care less. If you were nice with my children, had a proven record in childcare and we got in then I'm not in the slightest bit interested in your personal life , which is what I consider your weight to be

oldfatandtired1 · 23/04/2015 20:32

I hired several nannies when my boys were young. My (and their) favourite was a size 20 lady who played football with them, bounced on the trampoline with them and loved every inch of them. 20 years on we're still in touch. The size 10 girl who used to read her book while they entertained themselves all day? Nah, and I'm afraid I couldn't give her a good reference. (Disclaimer: she was great with babies and I said so, boisterous pre-school boys? - not so much . . . )

wickedwitchofwaterloo · 23/04/2015 20:49

I'm your size, probably a wee bit bigger if I'm totally honest and I've never had a problem getting a job now. I went for several interviews and was offered over half of the jobs (and made it to the final two for the others) so I don't think it's been an issue. Maybe it has, maybe my weight tipped the balance in favour of the other candidate? Pun fully intended. Lol.
Either way, I look at it the same as the fact I'm heavily tattooed - if you aren't willing to look past it and are not impressed by my experience and references then, your loss and I'm not the nanny for you. Good luck with your search btw!

OutragedFromLeeds · 23/04/2015 20:59

One of my nanny friends is overweight (size 20). She once got a job because the 4 year old boy, who hadn't taken to any other candidate, said as she walked through the door 'Ooh hello! You're cosy!' . They were firm friends from that moment on .

You'll be fine. Good Luck.

PippiLicious · 23/04/2015 21:01

We had an obese nanny and she was the best nanny in the world. My children adored her (as did we). She was kind, loving, patient, a fabulous cook and great fun to be around. She took them to lots of amazing places and they did lots of outdoorsy stuff too. When people have said nice things about my children and their lovely gentle nature I always say that is down to her influence.

She stopped working for us when dc2 started pre school but we still see her a lot. She babysits, pops in and my children still adore her.

In summary I wouldn't hesitate to hire an obese nanny!

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 23/04/2015 21:11

It would depend on how you carry yourself and act towards DD. By carry yourself, I mean I would not be impressed to be faced with someone who slumped and slouched everywhere and appeared to have no energy/was a bit listless. However, someone who talked to DD lots, chased her round the garden and could clearly just keep up with a 2 year old, I would be perfectly happy with. (Caveat: unless the person was obsessed about food/made references to being 'fat' etc - I'm trying to make sure DD has a good body image and I don't want her picking up the idea that there's a single acceptable way to look )

I'm more concerned with DD getting on with her carers than what they look like.

Radiatorvalves · 23/04/2015 21:21

We had a similar sized AP once. It wasn't a success as she had no energy and couldn't walk far. Her idea of playing in the garden meant her sitting down while boys ran around. She was obsessed about food - ate loads and then asked me to buy her peculiar foods for her diet.

If you turned up for an interview with me, I'd want to know about how active you are and maybe a bit about what you think is reasonable for a child to eat.

Good luck.

wheresthelight · 23/04/2015 22:51

for those saying you worry about her ability to keep up with your active toddlers...I am about the same dress size 20/22 and have an exceptionally active 20 month old dd. I might be fat but I am relatively fit and can keep up with her without any issues.

size shouldn't matter, only your ability to do the job. in any other job you would be able to challenge on the grounds of discrimination.

GraysAnalogy · 23/04/2015 22:59

As long as you could do your job I would have no qualms at all.

I did read an article though in which a childminder had continued to gain weight and was rendered unable to do tasks. He got sacked, but then managed to win a tribunal for disability discrimination

People like that person could cause a lot of harm for people of a bigger weight trying to gain employment

SuperDuperJezebel · 24/04/2015 14:22

I used to be a size 22, now a 10-12 (mostly 12!) and I generally think it hasn't been a problem for the most part. I've been a nanny for 14ish years and never been without a job, and have enjoyed several long term positions with lovely families who obviously mustn't have thought it was a problem. I was always very self conscious of my weight and assumed people were judging me because of it, and looking back I do wonder whether there were jobs I didn't get offered because it put them off. I remember reading an email about me that my first boss had left open on her computer - the family one I'd been told I was welcome to use BTW. It described me as 'exceedingly fat and ugly'. That stuck with me. But everyone else I have worked for has been amazing, never mentioned it as an issue, and I hope thought I was fun and active. Wishing you the best of luck.

Victoria2002 · 24/04/2015 21:46

I think you need to proactively mention it and say the things you said in your OP plus explain that your current employers will vouch that this is true. Many people would have worries about your fitness/energy but obviously wouldn't raise them. I have had employers who (when trying to replace me) voiced negative opinions about "fat nannies". HOWEVER I must say there are plenty of nannies I know who are seize 18+ and happily employed, just as there are some parents who prefer much older nannies. Good Luck!

PinkPearlClutcher · 25/04/2015 08:38

As a nanny and a mother I would totally employ you, you sound lovely!

Though to be honest, I would initially worry about what affect your eating habits might have on my child (assuming you are bigger because you have/had bad eating habits) and whether you could be active enough. I would be way too embarrassed to mention it though, so I think you need to be the one who brings it up.

Perhaps at the end of the interview, when they ask if they have any questions you could say something like "I'm sure you have noticed that im overweight, and with that can come some questions. I don't want to put you in the position of having to ask, but I want to reassure you that I am very active and able to look after young children, and I am fully aware of healthy eating expectations and would be cooking healthy meals for your children. I have changed my lifestyle, and I have already noticed the difference, but it's not something that has ever affected my work"

Nanny13 · 25/04/2015 23:47

Just wow!

Bonkerz · 26/04/2015 09:58

I'm a size 26. Clinically morbidly obese and yet I'm a childminder and full. We go on long woodland walks and soft play and I'm on my feet 11 hours a day. If you are confident and happy it says a lot more about you than your size.

Nanny13 · 26/04/2015 13:02

I'm a 'obese' Nanny.
I'm size 24 but am very active, loving, caring, passionate and walk loads with the kids, do tons of activities, all day days out.....

I'm looking for a new nanny position and never thought thus before....

playftseforme · 26/04/2015 13:08

Size wasn't an issue for me when we hired a nanny who was a size 20 (she volunteered that piece of info). However, there were issues with healthy eating - weekly trips to McDs - that I had to knock on the head, and whenever we went out together I would be the one who ended up running after the DC (this we talked about but it never really changed).

madreloco · 26/04/2015 13:18

Honestly, no, I probably wouldn't. I've been large and I know it restricted me in terms of energy and ability. I was also unhealthy and took more time off sick than I did when I was less big.

I wouldn't be making any judgement on you as a person and acknowledge that it would be my issue rather than yours. I also know that you might well have ten times the energy of a skinny person and be far healthier and a better nanny (not that I'd be choosing a nanny just because they are skinny either) but it would put me off. I like to think on meeting you I would look past it, but I'm honest enough to say I'm as judgemental as most people.
Sorry.

Seriouslyffs · 26/04/2015 13:30

You sound great. I don't know about mentioning it overtly but I think that concrete examples of activity levels and nutritional awareness is an excellent idea. Eg: in my last job the school run was a brisk half hour walk or such and such park has a great play section for this age range. I don't arrive flustered for your interview- top tip for anyone!
If it gets to reference stage could you ask your current employer to emphasise energy?!
Good Luck!

wickedwitchofwaterloo · 26/04/2015 15:49

OP - Randomly, the other day my newest employer said one of the reasons they employed me was that I seemed really enthusiastic and energetic so apparently my weight wasn't even an issue for them

I will also say, mentioning that you are overweight at an interview seems a bit odd to me, almost like you are apologising for yourself much better to come prearmed with how you feel about cooking and nutrition for children, examples of fresh and healthy meals you have/can cook when the question about children's mealtimes inevitably comes up.

LynetteScavo · 26/04/2015 15:59

I once, and only once met someone who wouldn't hire someone because of their size. She also wouldn't hire someone because of their colour, though. And to be honest, who would want to work for some one like that?

I've known several obese nannies, and none of them haven't been able to do their job fully.

I've also known skinny, nannies who seem adverse to moving, and don't like running around with the DC.

So, to be perfectly honest, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

What would bother me would be if you insisted on eating different food from the DC at meal times.

Coyoacan · 26/04/2015 15:59

It would mostly depend on compatability, not your size. That said I find there are two main types of obese: the wobbly obese that seems to be the modern form of obesity from eating too much processed food and that firm kind of obesity which doesn't bother me at all and can often look quite attractive.

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