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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Unimpressed

26 replies

mrsnewfie · 04/04/2015 11:56

Why is it acceptable for many parents to dump their sick children on childminders and then refuse to collect them or acknowledge the illness?

Usually masked by calpol, they didn't think anything of the runny poo all weekend or it's because they're teething!

Rant over! Sorry!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

HSMMaCM · 04/04/2015 15:46

I don't think its many parents ... I think it's a select few. I have written into my policies now that dropping off a child with a known illness, or failing to collect a sick child at the earliest opportunity will result in contract termination. I did let one dad off a slow collection when I saw how his wife laid into him .

Original poster

mrsnewfie · 04/04/2015 18:59

Oh! What a good idea! I will do that. For me, it has been 3 out of the 4 lots of parents I have come across!

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HSMMaCM · 04/04/2015 21:48

That's teally bad luck. Most of the families I work with are lovely.

Original poster

mrsnewfie · 04/04/2015 21:51

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Original poster

mrsnewfie · 04/04/2015 21:53

:-(

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Maryann1975 · 04/04/2015 23:11

I cm for two families at the moment and both of them do this. A few weeks ago I got a text about an hour after drop off to inform me the dc was poorly and what a bad weekend they had because of it.

When I made a comment the next week that child from other family now had said illness, it was referred to as child being grumpy, not poorly. They wouldn't acknowledge it had been passed on. Both families are as bad as each other tbh so I have no sympathy with parents when bugs go back and forth. I feel sorry for me who has to deal with it and children who feel rubbish.
One family got really annoyed with me because I said I wouldn't have school aged dc because school said she couldn't attend. They pay me so place should be available apparently. They just don't get it, poorly children should be at home.
This is one of the reasons I want to leave childminding at the moment.

I know it's not all parents, but at them moment it feels like it. Going back 5 years my 3 cm families were really good at taking time off for poorly children, I've just got more work obsessed parents at the moment.

Original poster

mrsnewfie · 05/04/2015 00:21

They just don't get it do they? The impact it has on us, our families and other cm families.

One family is really good but the other is quite frankly bloody selfish. Unfortunately, the nice family end up with the awful bugs and and have serious health complications at the moment too.

It also annoys me when they send their sick child and I get ill. I then have to shut and lose money, not to mention inconveniencing the other nice family.

I'd love to sack them off but needs must. It's a catch 22.

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mamadoc · 05/04/2015 00:54

Just to put the other side....

As a first time parent a lot of the times I really was not sure whether DC was ill or just grumpy!

Any temperature, sickness or obvious diarrhoea he would be kept off but sometimes I could find it hard to decide in the hour between waking up and drop off whether he was ill or not and it is human nature to convince yourself it's ok when your job is riding on it.

Often he'd have a bad night's sleep, be grumpy and not keen on breakfast but fine after a nap. Other times it turned out later he was ill. He really did get very dodgy nappies when teething but otherwise was well, eating, playing, cheerful.

I would always pick up promptly if called and never tried to gloss over things with a dose of calpol but sometimes I got it wrong.

Original poster

mrsnewfie · 05/04/2015 09:39

Ahhhhhh! That's fair enough. I'm talking about blatant flouting of the rules.

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Original poster

mrsnewfie · 19/04/2015 19:14

So, I re issued my illness policy (addressed to all parents) and the main culprit has massively taken offence.

She's refusing to speak to me and sending her husband to do drop off and pick up.

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redspottydress · 19/04/2015 19:19

Some employers are not terribly understanding of poorly children and the need to take time off. There have been several threads on here with patents at risk of disciplinary action etc.

Frusso · 19/04/2015 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

mrsnewfie · 19/04/2015 19:37

The employers are not an issue in this case.

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Karoleann · 19/04/2015 22:49

It really drives me mad at nursery.

Just before Christmas (so just the sort of time you don't want to be ill), the parent in front of me was whispering to her DD not to tell the nursery staff that she'd been sick that morning.
Our pre-school is committee run and I'm the treasurer so I asked the leader to ask the child if she'd been sick that morning....parent was called back looking incredibly red faced and an email went out reminding parents of the 48hr rule and the fact that WE DO NOT TAKE ILL CHILDREN.

You need an ear thermometer at the door.

HSMMaCM · 20/04/2015 04:53

The fact that they took offence means that they know full well what they have been doing.

Original poster

mrsnewfie · 20/04/2015 12:28

My first reaction too HSMM!

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ManAboutTheHouse · 22/04/2015 13:41

Understand that those who are fearful of losing their jobs, will try & still take their ill child along to a CM.

HOWEVER...the parents (& anyone else for that matter) need to understand that the buck should not stop with the CM.

The CM has a business to run, & it should be respected as such. A parent's job or career is no more or no less important than a CMs.

HSMMaCM · 22/04/2015 13:45

I agree manaboutthehouse. However, if the cm gets ill, all the parents have to take more time off and the cm loses money.

Strictlyison · 22/04/2015 13:51

When going back to work parents should discuss with their employers what will happen if their child gets ill.

I have lost much money over the years as a childminder because parents drop their children here with an illness, I get it, my DSs get it, DH gets it. One Christmas not only did it make me loose over £350 of income but completely spoiled DH's 45th birthday (on 22nd December) and both my children were ill on Christmas day. It is truly infuriating. I am with you OP.

ManAboutTheHouse · 22/04/2015 19:57

Hi HSMMaCM - you are absolutely right, & that is what parents need to understand. While parents need the services of a CM, in my experience, many see whatever job they do as more important.

E.g. "But I have an important meeting, & I can't leave (child) anywhere else", added with "You don't have to take them anywhere - he/she will be happy to stay at home"...fully forgetting we have an obligation to undertake activities & go-out with the other children we care for!

We have a rule at our setting which basically says that if the child is unable to partake in the day's activities (whether these are outdoors or indoors) due to their illness (& they are clingy, constantly crying, low on energy, very sleepy etc), then we will respectfully ask the parents to take the child home.

The worst instances of these are when the child that is clearly ill, & brought to the front door...

HSMMaCM · 22/04/2015 20:53

I have the same policy about taking part in our normal activities.

Original poster

mrsnewfie · 22/04/2015 22:07

I understand that parents have to work. I really do.

However, two of the worst culprits I have experienced have both been at home. No employers breathing down their necks or threat to their jobs. Their ill, disease spreading children have just been an inconvenience to their day. That's why I'm so annoyed!

To make it even worse, one of the parents is refusing to speak to me because I reminded them of my policy, that they agreed to. I'm totally floored by the ridiculous behaviour!

I agree Strictly. Parents should discuss a back up plan with employers for when their children are ill. What you described is awful. Some people are so selfish!

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redspottydress · 24/04/2015 21:41

I have experienced child minders playing down their child's illness as they do not want to lose a days money. Then spreads to mindees and they refuse to take!!

HSMMaCM · 24/04/2015 22:17

That's not good redspottydress.

This week I had a mindee with a mum who started a new job on Monday. She ran up a slight temperature. I liaised with dad about calpol, so mum didn't worry. She was low level grumpy through the week, concluding with a post viral rash today. Her mum was wracked with guilt, but so grateful she could complete her first week without worrying. Obviously if she'd been really ill she"d have had to stay off.

wheresthelight · 26/04/2015 07:27

My dd has had a ridiculously high temp for a week but no other symptoms other than being a bit grumpy. I gave my cm a quick call and asked her whether she wanted me to keep dd at home, as there was no sickness or diarrhea she was happy to take dd which I am extremely grateful for but there is no way I would send her with an upset tummy!

some people are idiots but I think your contract thing is maybe a little harsh for immediate termination. Perhaps a written warning and if a repeat event occurs then terminate would be fair? sometimes it is hard to tell if it's teething or ill

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