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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Settling in period at a childminder

45 replies

LittleMissChangeMyName · 17/02/2015 15:35

We have just had a very unsatisfactory experience with settling our 1 year old at a CM. I feel we weren't given enough time to settle DC in, in total we had about 6 or 7 individual sessions before my return to work some of which were only 1 hour long.
What do CMs usually offer? I had initially pencilled in 10-11 sessions over a three week period with the CM of several hours each but in the end the CM didn't have enough capacity.
Thanks!

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Goodpresentideaplease · 17/02/2015 15:41

6-7 sessions is a lot, and surely plenty?? I think 2 or 3 is more normal.

SKYTVADDICT · 17/02/2015 15:46

I usually offer 2-3 sessions of 1-2 hours each - not sure what others do but 10-11 is a bit excessive

lightgreenglass · 17/02/2015 15:49

We had 3 sessions. Lasting 1-2 hours and on the last session we left DS there.

HSMMaCM · 17/02/2015 16:10

I am doing 3 sessions with a child who starts next week. A short morning, a longer afternoon, then a full day, then he starts. They could have had more, because I had availability, but he probably won't need more. If the cm does not have space for more sessions then she can't offer any more.

adp73 · 17/02/2015 16:30

I do 3 sessions I of I hour then 2-3 including a meal time and then 3-4 including a meal and a sleep time. This is before the full Contract starts and these sessions are free. If a parent wants more and I have room they can pay for as many as they want before the Contract starts fully however I have never had this and most just do the 2 or three or none.

Then when the full Contract starts I have a 4 week settling in period:

To settle the child though it can take more than 4 weeks for them to settle.

For the parents to settle into the new routine, get used to leaving their child, work out travel times etc. I will then offer a review to the Contract if needed to adjust times.

For me to settle with the child.

During this 4 week period things aren't working out either of us can end care with no notice and choose to not carry on. If the parents do this it equates to the Full Contract not starting so they pay for any care they have had but they loose their Deposit in the same way they would have done if they had changed their mind. If I decide for whatever reason I can't carry on with the Contract I expect to be paid for any care given but I return the Deposit.

Heels99 · 17/02/2015 16:33

I think 3 sessions is the norm round here whether that be at child minder or nursery

cleoteacher · 17/02/2015 16:41

That's a lot really. My ds had two or three half days so probably about the same.

Original poster

LittleMissChangeMyName · 17/02/2015 17:06

So your kids had 2-3 short sessions before being left for full days 4 days a week or thereabouts? I just cannot imagine a child being settled at that point at all yet.

OP posts:

adsy · 17/02/2015 17:14

Most have mine have had no settling in sessions at all! some come for an hour or so just the once, but I've never needed to have more than that. 10 - 11 sounds a huge amount. Trouble is, she has to stick to her ratios so till your dc starts properly she probably won't have time for such a protracted settling in.
Can I ask why you thought so many sessions would be needed?

HSMMaCM · 17/02/2015 17:15

The children don't really settle until they get into full days with normal routines. A few visits to sort out any unanswered questions and then just get on with it. I had one child with no settling in at all, which wasn't ideal, but he was fine.

HSMMaCM · 17/02/2015 17:16

It is also disruptive to the other children to have a child and adult popping in and out at random times.

adsy · 17/02/2015 17:18

Might be an obvious question, but I take it you were paying for the settling in sessions?

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 17/02/2015 17:18

We had 3 days of 1 hour then right onto full days but DS2 had nursery most mornings so she had him 8-9am then 12.30pm-4pm.

insancerre · 17/02/2015 17:19

Too many settling in sessions is actually more unsettling for the child
I work in a nursery and we normally do 2 sessions of an hour each
Without the parent
Out of interest, did the cm feel it wasn't working?

Original poster

LittleMissChangeMyName · 17/02/2015 17:41

The CM felt it was too much work because DC wanted to be held most of the time. It didn't help that she got a really bad cold and then sick one week in.

OP posts:

Original poster

LittleMissChangeMyName · 17/02/2015 17:44

But apparently she barely cried, the problem was the being carried around bit. I don't know I would have thought that this is pretty normal behaviour for a 1 year being left for the first time.

OP posts:

adsy · 17/02/2015 17:51

WHY WAS SHE CARRYING HER AROUND ALL the time if shge wasn't crying?

Original poster

LittleMissChangeMyName · 17/02/2015 17:56

If she placed her on the floor she would start crying. But as far as I understood there were quite a few days at the beginning when she didn't cry immediately and would happily explore. But then she got her cold and I think things went downhill from there.

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BackforGood · 17/02/2015 17:56

It's been a few years now since mine all went to their various CMs, but I don't remember any 'settling in' periods at all - they just started, after the initial meeting.
6 or 7 seems like masses, and quite difficult for the child to be there for just an hour, then off again, over and over, I'd have thought.

Original poster

LittleMissChangeMyName · 17/02/2015 18:07

I don't know maybe it was different expectations from my side and who knows maybe I didn't make myself clear to the CM. We had pencilled in those days and I thought we would gradually increase the numbers of hours each time to come towards full days towards the end. This would have given the chance to iron out issues before I started back at work. I don't think this sounds like a bad idea from the viewpoint of the child and if it requires payment so be it.
But judging from the answers to my post this seems to be an unusual idea.

OP posts:

adsy · 17/02/2015 18:13

Did you pay for the settling in sessions she already had?

BackforGood · 17/02/2015 18:15

No - I can understand the logic of that.
You would of course be using a 'space' from the CMs ratio and would have to pay, but if you felt more comfortable doing that before you go back to work, then I can see the sense of it.
Sometimes the CM might not just 'be available' for the times you want though - they tend to be out and about doing different things during the day - from school runs to going to the shops to attending toddler groups to cooking food to working round naps etc of other mindees. I think it's easy to forget that as a parent, when obviously we are just focusing on our own child

Karoleann · 17/02/2015 18:21

I think its a huge amount of sessions. I don't think any of my three children had more than 4 at any nursery setting or childminder.

HSMMaCM · 17/02/2015 18:25

I have a younger sibling starting with me next week. His older brother did an hour with his mum, then 2 hours, then a short morning, then a lunch, then an afternoon, the a couple of half days, then started.

The tougher sibling is doing a morning, an afternoon and a full day and his mother admits it's only so she can get prepared for work. She laughs when she looks back at what she asked for the first time.

I will accommodate what parents request where possible, but it's a real pain doing bits and pieces and doesn't help anyone really. 2 or 3 sessions are best for most (not all) children and their families.

HSMMaCM · 17/02/2015 18:26

Younger, not tougher !!!

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