where is the best place to hire an aupair

[Col12345]

i live in north london
cant seem to have any luck on aupair world.
anyone recommend a good agency or place to search
thanks

Why no luck with au pair world? We had hundreds of applicants, lots of them very good quality.

Are there any specifics about the role that make it difficult to find candidates?

Living in London you should find it very easy to find someone.

i agree i dunno. just not much luck. only have one child 11 and not much to do... 25 hours a week. maybe am not paying enough

We are also in London and also offer 25 hours a week and we get overwhelmed on au pair world. What pay are you offering? Are you putting lots of details about yourselves in your ad?

How much are you offering?

What accommodation are you offering?

Do you have photos on your profile?

i took a girl on in january and had to ask her to leave. she was very sweet but threre were problems ie she left the front doors open on purpose all night! so as not to wake us. amongst other things. i took her from aupair world. So now on my profile i am stating references are essential. she had a work reference but not from childcare. she also was out clubbing and i dont want that so much as it wakes me up. so ive stated i dont want to live with a party girl. not sure how to deal with any of it. i pay 80 a week. which 2 girls i liked have turned there noses up at so maybe ill increase it. i offer own room with a tv. it feels like im looking for a needle in a haystack. i need someone responsible who can collect my son from school. i tried an agency on friday the fee is 420 pounds and even then the girl i spoke to didnt want to clean. which is part of the job. not a lot but a bit of help around the house. is part of it. i have photos..... maybe i need to take the references and party bit off.... but i dont want the same thing again.

Asking for chill are references is fine and normal but the party restriction will massively narrow your field partly as these are teens coming to London and most will want to go out clubbing at least occasionally and partly because the requirement makes you sound a bit grumpy and controlling.

£80 is a tiny bit low. We offer £90 for 25 hours and those hours include light cleaning but we guarantee no yucky cleaning like toilets etc as most candidates live in horror of that.

Oops. Chill are = child care.

I live in North London and use Gumtree usually.

i dont mind clubbing on a friday but even then being woken at 3 am isnt great. the last aupair left both front doors open all night! but i cant have 3 am mid week, i wont be able to function. i agree i clean the toilet myself. what time do you state for midweek?

i though gum tree was for jobs paying a hundred plus?

re the references can you tell me what is best to do. the last girl only had one reference from a hotel she worked in for 3 months. so i got a police check. but i would need to see some evidence of responsiblity. what is best to do? as most 19 year olds or lots havent had jobs.

I suppose you could delicately ask about their party lifestyle when you meet them rather than put it in the ad? So you won't put people off before they think of applying but you can make it clear when you meet them what is and isn't acceptable

We also have no problems getting someone good from au pair world, but we tend to do it several months in advance.

Yes, I'd take off the party bit. You can discuss that in the info sheet or on Skype. Are you offering a travel card?

I really wouldn't bother with an agency.

no i didnt know aobut a travel card. is that the oyster what do you ofer on that?

We don't offer a travel card or any extras above the £90 and London don't think extra financial incentives are necessary as long as you invite them to eat with you and have lots of food in the house.

I never put down rules about what time they can return home etc. I see them as independent adults who have to be able to decide how to use their own spare time. I've never heard of anyone putting limits on what an au pair can do when off duty (although obviously being drunk or incapable when it's time to come on duty would be unacceptable). I think you have to give-up the idea of controlling their behaviour out of working hours.

Re references I always take babysitting references and job references but they aren't that indicative of a good au pair. I usually find an indepth Skype interview is the best indicator. At this time of year you may find au pairs already in London who are looking for a new family. We just got a great new au pair whose last family were awful so she was back on au pair world. We got to meet her before employing her which was perfect.

we live in a small house so it wakes me up. i think mid week its acceptable to ask someone not to be out all hours. it depends if they wake you or not.

Weren't you the host mom who thought her Au Pair was too clingy cause she was eating with you, watching tv and joining you to some activities during the weekend ? If so, I really think an Au Pair is not fitted for you.

Words go fast among Au Pairs and we (AP) often warns future Au Pairs about bad families we encounter during our trip ( mostly over fb groups etc... ) so if you kicked your Au Pair out and she wasn't treated like family chances are that she may have spoken badly about you which may have scared some Au Pairs off.

Now the party bit is definitely a turn off. That's reasonable for you to set a rule where she would have to be home before midnight on weekdays in order to be fit to work but prohibiting parties on weekend is an hard call.

Most of us want to socialize and weekends nights and parties are the best way to do it and it's definitely a part of the culture (especially in London) that most Au Pairs don't want to give up. There is no point to go abroad if you are expected to stay home the whole time.

Theres good groups on facebook for finding au pairs and that's how I've found both mine

We Suggest a midnight curfew on week days as its a 7.15 am start to get the kids to school

Weekends are theirs to do whatever - we can't set a curfew because it's their free time

I have to say we've been overwhelmed with applicants both times we've advertised

We set out to make our au pairs part of our family - it's aort of the deal really

OMG. i did not kick her out. we are still really good friends!
you dont know what happened. how can you say that when you dont know. she wants to be a dog walker. she had no childcare experience. i helped her find another job. i gave her money to find a flat. what are you talking about? she wrote us a lovely reference.

ruby slippers. thanks for that. i agree weekends are free time but week days need to be different due to working hours. i gave a young girl a chance without references and no experience and it wasnt right. i just need to be a bit more cautious this time. thanks for that.

I would revise your add, and take the party part out. When you start corresponding you can talk about your expectations, though I don't think it would be reasonable to set a curfew at weekends.

Asking for references is perfectly reasonable, but I don't think there is any need to put it in your profile.

I would put lots of information about yourselves in your profile and pictures to attract candidates. Also mention what's near (tube, language school, parks, shops etc).

Re the pay I think 80/week may be slightly on the low side but not ridiculously so. If you can afford I would offer 90-100 / week. We offer 100/week plus oyster top up to attract the best candidates. (Our au pair is fabulous!)

Good luck!

karoleann - we are outside London...our London friends offer £85 plus travel card as they want their au pair to be able to go out.
You have to offer something to stand our from the other families on au pair world.

meliemlo - do you honesty sit with your host family and watch TV every night? I find that completely unbelievable. I asked our au pair tonight and she said she didn't know a single au pair who sat and watched TV on a regular basis with their host family.
I actually do know one family, but the host mum spent ages trying to find a non-sociable au pair.
It is not in any way unrealistic to have a couple of meals without your au pair.

melimelo, not all aupairs want to party. It depends on the girl. A few of mine turned out to be homebodies and sensible non-party types.

As for fb warning aupairs about bad families, I think you have an active imagination. A lot of aupairs are not even on these fb groups. I encourage my aupairs to go on there to make friends but not all of them do and if they do, lose interest pretty quickly. My aupair would not even know there is an aupair down the street unless I tell her much less go on fb to know about every single family in London.

OP you said you ''asked her to leave'' hence the ''kicked her out'' I don't remember calling you a monster ? I just said if ' it ended badly ' she may have spread bad words about you on social media.

I am glad it didn't end up badly but I clearly remember you complaining about your Au Pair being too clingy because she was joining you and eating with you! So I am sorry but if you still think this would be something that would annoy you I would not host an Au Pair is all I am saying.

@Karoleann, actually yes, most nights, (except on weekends or times were I am at the gym) and most of my au pair friends have dinner with their families every evening during the week. I never said it was unrealistic not to have meals with your au pair everyday. I know when to give my host parents space and time for themselves as I need some alone time on my own as well, but this host mom ( if you've read the my au pair is too clingy post) was basically saying that she didn't want her au pair around when she was off, ever.

To have set time for yourself and your family is absolutely normal and reasonable but basically saying that you just wanted your au pair to ' clean and do a bit of baby-sitting' without having to see her on her time off is unreasonable and unfair to the Au Pair. Au Pairs aren't cheap labour, it's supposed to be a cultural exchange where in exchange of childcare you get treated fairly and like a family member but on her other post she clearly stated that for her the AP was just a simple employee as she was paying her.

So yes, I don't feel like OP is the kind of family for an Au Pair ( as I don't know any Au Pairs who like to be treated as a simple employee ) she is free to do as she wishes though and hopefully she finds a nice fit for her family.

I too think it is a total myth that au pairs are all on fB groups exchanging intelligence about host families. Like blueshoes i have to actively encourage my au pairs onto these groups and its me saying "did you know there are two other au pairs at school who speak your language?." And them going "oh, how can i meet them???"

We do always eat with our au pairs and some have regularly watched TV with dH and I in the evenings. Our current one tends to hang out downstairs until about 9/9.30pm each night and joins in whatever we are doing.

We have had four au pairs: two party girls, two homebodies who hated the idea of a club. You can't generalise really. It happens that I preferred the party girls who were lively and happy and seemed to really love their time in London.

OP can't you just talk to them about coming home quietly? Our current au pair arrives home late but is terirfied of waking the baby so shuts the door softly and takes her shoes off immediately. Asking for consideration is fine but curtailing their freedoms seems extreme.