Would anyone care to share their house rules for nannies/au pairs with me?

[MrsFogi]

I'm trying to draw up a list and could do with some inspiration as my brain's not working too well after yet another night of trying to get dd to sleep for more than a couple of hours.

Dh has just had angry, impatient moment with AP and I take back some of what I said earlier about things improving
All she had to do this evening was tidy up toys and dishes away and it has took her 1hr and 20mins and she also eat his dinner ( after eating her own) I was saving.
During this time I had bathed 3 screaming children, tidied their bedrooms, bathroom, got clothes and prepared bags for the next day and finished homework.

She basically cleared dishes eat his dinner then went to her room. DH come home from work asked her why she ate his dinner and why does she not do the jobs we asked her to do like clearing up toys as per agreement and many other things.

Au pair not happy

Bluebear - the official line is that APs can have sole charge of kids over 2.
The reality is that you will need to feel comfortable with your AP and I guess you can only know that once you have got to know them.

Thanks Boo - I was thinking of changing from nanny to au pair once dd starts half day nursery - but I'm reading this thread and getting a bit too worried to make the jump

God artist67, sympathy sympathy. Isn't it ridiculous how irritating it can all be? I think you really have to spell things out in simple simple english and get them to repeat it back to you to ensure that they have understood. I am now going to be compiling the most anal list for the next time round. It just sometimes seems never ending - they're supposed to be there to help but can end up making more work, which sends frustation levels rocketing.

Our ap is now having a mega whinge about being exhausted and working more than 5 hours a day. I'm afraid we've told if that if she's not happy she can go home. Yes on Mondays she does work more than 5 hours a day, but goes to school 3 mornings a week and gets back at 1.30, then an hour or so for lunch.She doesn't help with bath and bedtime so wht her's problem?! Often I go out for a lot of the day with the kids like I'll be doing on Thursday, so then she'll be here on her own. I don't live my life to a strict routine, the babies aren't old enough yet to have one in the way that they will once school starts; and with a 23 month old and 7 month old life can be hard work - that's motherhood and keeping a house. It really pisses me off that she's been complaining to friends for a while I've found out. We have been bloody good to her in all sorts of ways and it kind of feel like she's chucking it back in our faces. My dh is completely fed up, and if anything else is said, she' s gone. Life's too short to be wound up by a 21 year old French girl. By the way what is the definition of "light housework"? Sounds like a crazy question but useful to know how other people define it.

Earlier someone suggested setting up a thread for AP employers similar to the CM club. I think it'd be a great idea. What does any one else think? I find it incredibly helpful hearing how other people are getting on / dealing with their au pairs.

Cloudberry ? I have just read your other post below; and did you mean AP wanted another job in the UK with another family? If so I would be incline to ask her exactly what her expectations are!! Unless she address some of her issues, she will have the same problems else where.

I think my frustration stems from the fact that I expected our AP to have a lot more nouse. She?s 29-30 an Art teacher, fluent English and currently doing child psychology, lived on her own and ran youth clubs. She fairly clueless with the youngest children and not really a ?natural? with kids and does analyse everything they do (equally irritating) but she is chatty, polite and appreciative and working on getting her to help out bit. BUT DH finds her irritating, slow and says she lacks basic initiative?
He believes that AP thinks a lot of the jobs are beneath her rather than her inability. I am sure we will find out soon.

I think an Au pair thread for families is a good idea!!!

It was me who suggested the thread originally but I guess some people thought maybe it wasn't necessary.

If you chaps are up for it, I am! Besides this has kind of turned into an informal AP employer thread anyway!

oh f**k it I'm just going to set it up ....here goes. It'll be called Au Pair families thread or similar