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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

cm club

27 replies

dmo · 27/09/2006 18:02

i mind a little boy who was 1yr old in May this year (had him since jan 06)
mum was unsure when she first visited me as i had concret outside so i paid to have the whole outside decked so she was happy
anyway today we got in from school run and his mum is normally here waiting but not today so i got him out of the pram and let him play out
he was on the trike and when getting off caught his foot and fell onto the floor biting his lip
there was blood
i picked him up and took him indoor to clean him up just as mum arrived
she started shouting at me telling me he was too little to go on the trike
i was dealing with the child
she took the child off me and started shaking and crying
i calmed her down and the bleeding stopped so they left
looking through insident book this is his first accident
may i just add her elder son aged 4 who has just started school has just been allowed to walk with rains rather than sit in the pram incase he falls or runs into the road

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

dmo · 27/09/2006 18:07

nipping food shopping now will log on later to hear your veiws

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nzshar · 27/09/2006 18:17

wrap in cotton wool syndrome im afraid nothing you can do about how she feels or what she allows or more in this case what she dosent allow her children to do. More to the point is whether you think you can deal with this parent, because as we all know children will fall or knock themselves sometimes.
Personally i would be quite blunt with this mum and tell her that i dont think her expectations are what i could deliver and that it may be best that she found other childcare arrangements> I would not and will never have anyone shout at me and especially not in my own home. But these are only my feelings and how I work
HTH

Original poster

dmo · 27/09/2006 20:07

your right was not impressed
just spoke to dh about it (hes working in ireland for 2 wks) he said the same as you

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nannynick · 27/09/2006 20:14

I feel sorry for the boys... boys are naturally adventurous (as are many girls as well) and they like to ride trikes/bikes, play in woods and climb trees. Walking by roads is something children with me learn from a very young age, I don't use reigns, unless they abuse the trust and run off.
While safety is important, children I feel also need to be children, to experience things, to realise that if they ride a bike, they may fall off... if they climb a small tree, they may fall out etc.

Sounded like it was worse for the mother, than it was for the child. I feel she needs to relax a bit more, enjoy life - it's ups and it's downs.

HenniPenni · 27/09/2006 20:30

Perhaps she was just shocked and upset to see her DS like that,perhaps when she's calmed down she may see how irrational she was.

Do agree that you shouldn't be spoken to like that tho', perhaps we should have a complaints book that we can use to complain about parents!

Original poster

dmo · 27/09/2006 20:41

not a bad idea Henni
decided not to say anything tomorrow maybe she was in shock will just get her to sign accident book and let her decide to talk if she wants to

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LoveMyGirls · 28/09/2006 12:11

i know why you want to let this lie but tbh i would want to say i was shocked at the way you spoke to me the other day and it wasn't really appropriate when i was dealing with your child.

HenniPenni · 28/09/2006 13:29

Strawberry, how did things go with mum?

Original poster

dmo · 28/09/2006 16:07

went ok with mum
she was very fussy this morning about what she wanted him to eat etc (didnt want me to do toast as it would be to hard for his mouth)
had a bad day with the child he has cryed all day this morning went into the kitchen (where he can see me) and he started to cry and then sobbing
think i have had enough of this child was tempted to put him in the pram outside today but i didnt
only have him tues/weds/thurs so a day off tomorrow

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smeeinit · 28/09/2006 18:30

you are far more restained than me dmo!
theres no way i would put up with anyone shouting at me! i would have said something to her,how f**king rude to shout at you when she could see you were attending to her child in the best way possible.
i say she needs to chill out,although i couldnt stand it when people said it to me when mine were small..............boys will be boys!!

StrawberryMoon · 28/09/2006 20:23

HenniPenni was thata ctually for me or DMO?

DMO id have said something, shes obv still worked up, but she know your policies and if she expects you to carry him around all day she needs a nanny not a CM with other children (tbh i doubt youd find many nanny's or other cm to put up with it!), she was obv upset BUT, im slightly cotton wool about my dd, but would not bawl someone out whilst they were tending to her!

zoeuk1 · 28/09/2006 20:27

toast too hard for his mouth???

Original poster

dmo · 28/09/2006 20:56

think i should wrap cotton wool round the toast

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smeeinit · 28/09/2006 22:15

maybe you could pre chew the toast for him to soften it up a bit?!

Original poster

dmo · 29/09/2006 12:27

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StrawberryMoon · 29/09/2006 13:13

arghhh..biting cotton wool...uurghhhh.

goldfinger13 · 29/09/2006 18:11

it looks like mum's gonna cause her son to have issues. He's gonna expect every woman in his life to care for him like his mum. I feel sorry for the poor child!!!

Original poster

dmo · 29/09/2006 18:16

feel sorry for me too
its ok will have words tuesday

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Original poster

dmo · 03/10/2006 14:13

wrote a letter to mum today as i dont know what else to do with her child
he crys constanly while i am childminding the other children only stayed at toddlers today for half hour because of him
anyway other children left at 1pm today and now he is happy as larry singing, playing

only crys when other children are near him

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smeeinit · 03/10/2006 14:22

oh ffs! i used to care for a child like this whilst working at nursery,would shake and cry when other chidren were near him but perfectly happy on his own. i hate to say it but it took him 2 years to snap out of it!!
imo your mindees problems come from his mother being so over protective of him,poor l'il bugar!

Original poster

dmo · 03/10/2006 14:42

oh great
cant deal with two more days never mind two more years

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LoveMyGirls · 03/10/2006 16:06

what does the letter say, are you giving notice or just telling her about his behaviour?

Original poster

dmo · 03/10/2006 16:51

the letter is just decribing his behaviour (she already knows) told her briefly about it tonight and she laughed and said he doesnt like sharing.

this is not just about her son anymore its about the other children i look after and how its messing up my outings/plans

hopefully she will read the letter and disscuss with her dh and we will chat tomorrow

i am not giving notice but if she want to thats fine

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Twoandabump · 03/10/2006 16:58

I have a child like that as well. She is nearly 2, and will just cry at anything. No idea for sharing or taking turns, and cries if she doesn't get her own way all the time - needless to say she cries alot .

I have told mum about her, and she is the same at home. I have also said that as I look after other children, including mine as well!, then a I cannot pander to her every need. She is also like this at home, and infact her big sister is as well.

Unfortunatlely, they can take ages to "snap out of it" and I have had her now for 9 months, and if anything, she is worse now as mum picks her up at any noise. Is there any point suffering someone elses child that annoys you when you could have a really nice child instead is how I look at it. I know that I will only have her for another few months, so the end is drawing near!

Original poster

dmo · 03/10/2006 20:10

its true we are all suffering me and the other mindees
he is only 1yr old and mum has planned on me having him till he goes to school
i know its only tues/weds/thurs 9am till 3pm
but ..........................

will keep you informed what mum says tomorrow thought she would phone tonight

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