Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

tv with childminder

31 replies

corkgirlindublin · 26/06/2014 18:25

I have to speak to my childminder about not allowing my 3 year old to watch 6 hours of tv a day. Please reassure me I'm not being precious. Any hints on how to approach it. I'm really pissed off / anxious about it and I'm afraid I'll come across passive aggressive Sad Sad

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
EmilyElephantTrumpets · 26/06/2014 18:54

Erm how do you know?

superram · 26/06/2014 19:02

I would move him-I have been a cm and would only allow 10 mins possibly before pick up-and very rarely. Sometimes a film at the end of term for schoolies.

busyDays · 26/06/2014 19:21

I would say that TV watching is one of those fundamental things that will be hard to change. If she is used to having it on for 6 hours a day and the other children there are used to watching a lot of TV (possibly including her own children?) she is unlikely to suddenly agree to a drastic change. The problem is she can't stop one child from watching without stopping them all. Some childminder have the TV on a lot, some a little and some not at all. Some people seem to insist on having it as on as constant 'background noise'. Personally I don't like having it on but I have many friends who just can't seem to manage without it. By all means talk to her but I think you may need to move your child elsewhere.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 26/06/2014 19:22

Did she cover tv use when you initially met her?

Original poster
corkgirlindublin · 26/06/2014 20:06

Emily, she will openly tell me my daughter watched 4 DVDs in a day and see nothing wrong with it. Strictly speaking I suppose shes a nanny share since she minds my kids in my home with one other child who is a relative of hers. I kinda turned a blind eye at the start as tv helped in the adjustment period but we're several months in and its still going on. I don't allow much tv myself and as a consequence of how much shes watching when I'm in work I dont turn on the tv full stop when I'm home. Playschool has ended for the summer and my stomach feels sick with anxiety that my dd will spend the whole summer being sedated by the tv

OP posts:
EmilyElephantTrumpets · 26/06/2014 20:11

Ok so that makes it easier to approach.

Slightly miffed at you using the term childminder when she isn't one as this tars CMs with the brush that actually a nanny is unprofessional enough to do.

If she is your nanny then you are her employer and you need to have a professional meeting to explain that this is not acceptable.

Original poster
corkgirlindublin · 26/06/2014 20:17

gosh Emily you're easily miffed so. I was hoping to get some constructive ideas about how to address this. I am well aware I need to discuss this.

oh and my the way I'm in Ireland where the term nanny is not really used at all.

OP posts:
defineme · 26/06/2014 20:22

If its your home then just lock the tv up and say you've decided to be a tv free zone. Put a list of activities up on the fridge and say they're there to inspire you and her. Book dd into classes shd has to take her to.

EmilyElephantTrumpets · 26/06/2014 20:34

Easily miffed? Or peeved at my job title constantly being dragged through the mud?

Original poster
corkgirlindublin · 26/06/2014 20:52

defineme, thank you for the fridge idea. I think a list of activities away from the tv may be a good way to broach it.

Emily, I feel at this stage you are seeking offence were there is none. I didn't drag anyones title through the mud, I spoke about a specific problem I am encountering. I clarified our arrangements when asked. The nature of my problem remains unchanged regardless of specifics you are getting het up over

OP posts:
EmilyElephantTrumpets · 26/06/2014 20:59

Fine then I apologise and wish you well in getting something sorted with her.

AMI88 · 26/06/2014 22:16

Hey OP- does she invoice you or is she your employee?

I ask because if your the employer as opposed to service user, you have the grounds to be more authoritive and just say no I don't want tv on.

Even if she was a self employed childminder you would obviously still have the right to voice your opinion on TV, it may just not be listened to if she is of that mindset!

I personally hate tv, but have to admit defeat on rare occasions, because it will guarantee 10mins of free time to finish cooking, or taking dirty nappies to bin etc...

busyDays · 26/06/2014 22:25

Oh, I see she is a nanny rather than a childminder. In that case ignore what I said before. Can't you just say to her 'I don't want my child to watch more than x hours of TV a day' and then suggest some other activities.

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/06/2014 22:45

She's a nanny as works in your home and I assume employed by yourself

A cm works from her own house and is se

As she is a nanny you have every right to ban tv or ask her to cut down - as with anything - I think tv is good in moderation esp when kids tired /ed of day

HSMMaCM · 27/06/2014 07:11

She's a nanny, so you can specify how much tv is allowed.

also miffed at CM being used

adsy · 27/06/2014 09:43

please don't use the term childminder when she's not one.
people will see the title and think CM's allow children to watch TV all day.
we don't!!

AChildminder88 · 27/06/2014 09:44

I agree...we don't! (At least non of the childminders I know anyway) x

YourHandInMyHand · 27/06/2014 09:49

I don't know of any cms that allow constant TV use either. This person is a nanny so why wasn't that put in the title instead of child minder?

OP as she is your nanny and employed by you tell her and be strong about it. I'd be very unhappy to be paying for childcare only for my child to be watching 4 dvds in a row.

bamboostalks · 27/06/2014 12:20

Listen, just be straight with her. Say you don't like it and it's not good for your daughter. Be clear that you expect her to be out at the playground or baking etc. draw up a schedule for her. Are there groups she can go to?

Original poster
corkgirlindublin · 27/06/2014 17:25

Seriously I already explained.calling her childminder is normal where I'm from. Any why are you all so fucking oversensitive that you think one post on a website is bringing your chosen career into disrepute.

Those who made the time to give constructive advice and not bore me with false offense, thank you!

The rest of you can piss off, I'll know not to ask advise on this section again.

OP posts:
adsy · 27/06/2014 18:47

Sweet Jesus, You're getting a bit narky!
Really, chill out a bit.
People get narked when non CM's are referred to as CM's as it is always in a negative vein. there have been press reports of "cm" killing a baby when it turns out to be a druggy bf of the mum. It's for that sort of reason we get defensive.

RiverTam · 27/06/2014 18:56

well, I'm sure that not all nannies allow 6 hours of TV a day either. Really, you must think people are very unintelligent if they assume that because one childcare provider (that OK?) allows this then all will? Because I'm certainly not that dimwitted. And the OP has already explained that where she is from CM is the term used.

OP, as her employer you can state you don't want that. But I would probably look for someone else, I think it's a bit odd she's done this at all, it's as though she's got nothing else up her sleeve, as it were.

sideshowbob2 · 27/06/2014 19:18

well i'm a nanny with the opposite problem, the child i care for has special needs and her parents call their tv the babysitter and sit her in front of it all the time when i am not there, so therefore i don't let her watch tv at all when she is with me, as if the tv is on she is literally inside the tv totally focussed on nothing else and dribbling!! when she was younger it took me a while to wean her off the tv and to get active, she would cry when i turned the tv off and have a tanturm if i walked in front of it or even spoke to her when the tv was on, i have looked after this little girl for 11 years and the impact on her is clear to see, at 17 she still has poor speech and also a poor memory, i feel i she hadn't been dumped in front of a tv from a baby she may actually be a little bit older mentally as she is severely developmentally delayed and probably only functioning about 6-8 years old and i don't think this will ever change now as her parents do not make any effort to interact with her, unfortunately for her, both her parents are suits and according to her mother if she had benn normal she would have went to private school and i suspect also boarding!!
sorry for the rant!!

MildDrPepperAddiction · 27/06/2014 19:20

Corkgirl, don't pay any attention to those giving out. Nanny is not a well used term in Ireland. My friend was a live in nanny in Dublin and called herself a CM.

(Btw, I do know a cm who does let the children watch tv all day. Even straps children into buggies and parks them in front of it Shock it does happen. That's why parents need to be vigilant)

AChildminder88 · 27/06/2014 19:24

Hahaha OP that made me laugh out loud.

It grindes on me when the term nanny and CM are blurred because quite simply I'm not a nanny. It's a very different job, requiring different skill set and training. I used to be a nanny, so i know how hard that job is, and wouldn't want to take anything away from nannies, but I'm not one.

Will read all posts on a thread in future! Haha

Swipe left for the next trending thread