Recently widowed and pregnant, please help me with childcare options, nannies, mother's helps etc.

[grobagsforever]

I am recently widowed and 8 months pregnant, with 3 year old DD. I'm coping by being practical so I'm looking at my chilcare options. DD currently in part time nursery, starts school in September. I think I will take six months maternity leave. Other relevant points:

1. I have a spare room (small double) on a separate floor but only one bathroom. I would refit this to make it as nice as possible.

2. Could not provide car but live in central Guildford near excellent transport, school is very walkable

3. I don't need nanny to do housework as I think I can manage to fund a cleaner for a while

4. I will probably return to work 4 days a week. I work 15 mins walk and can be flexible with hours, but will need someone to do early/late cover sometimes.

5. I will probably want a couple of evenings babysitting.

I am thinking I might as well employ someone full time once the baby arrives, thinking they can do days with baby and I do nights. I will be BF but will consider top ups so I can get a sleep in day. So it wouldn't be a sole charge role until six months. I might need a fair bit of flexibility in the first six months e.g Saturday morning overtime.

I guess I need a live in nanny for flexibility and also to reduce cost to me. Would the job appeal to anyone given the modest accommodation? What level of flexibility is reasonable to expect? Could I swap time off during day for babysitting in eve by mutual agreement each week? And what is the total cost to me likely to be? I've seen salaries of £350 gross for live in, is this about right?

All info and suggestions welcome.

You will get a list of names in your area plus the local head of Surrey should contact you

Of you want me to add you to the way group on Fb then let me know your real name via pm x

Grobags I've been messaging lots of friends in childcare but haven't found much unfortunately. Definitely think those childcare websites are your best bet. I am local so happy to help in any way I can

So sorry to hear this. Just to say that we recruited a nanny for a difficult family situation - planning a second pregnancy which we knew would be a medical nightmare, me in hospital a lot, probably in bed for the entire pregnancy, a high risk of severe post natal depression. We were straightforward about this in the ad and asked about it at interview both on phone and in person and it was really helpful. Keep interviewing until you think "yes". I am now v ill and our nanny, who wasn't at all the most qualified or experienced, is a lifesaver, a huge source of emotional stability for DS. I hear them laughing together all the time and it is a massive weight off my mind.

Just sending you my deepest sympathy.
I'm close to you. Do let the school know the circumstances (and never be afraid of bursting into tears on them - I have on a few occasions and the Heads even keep a box of tissues for Mums in their office).

The Nanny Grapevine is possibly the best route for getting good Nannies, and there are some great ones around (also some really good CMs and Nurseries for later).