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Original poster

Would you fire her?

49 replies

thelastpost · 20/05/2014 23:04

So we found a great nanny a month ago and we have been working together looking after our twin boys who are now 4 months old and she will have sole charge when I go back to work in a fortnight.

We went away with our twins at the weekend for DHs birthday and left her at home to look after our 14 year old son- we trusted her 100%.

So needless to say we were incredibly shocked when our neighbour telephoned us on Saturday evening (we mentioned to her we were going away and could she keep an eye out as well) to say there were people at the house having a party- loud music, smoking in the garden and drinking. My initial concern was that my 14 year old had thrown a party while our nanny went out for the evening with friends (she told us she wanted to go for dinner with a friend that night and we OK'd for our son to be left until 9pm) but nope- it was her doing, and she had dumped my son on a friends parents (his friend- apparently she told them she had to return home due to a family emergency)

We called the police who came around and broke up the party- and spoke to our nanny on Sunday morning explaining we would discuss what action would be taken when we returned home- we got back this evening and she disappeared (conveniently) before we got back but assume she will be here for work tomorrow and we have sent her a text saying we want a chat before DH goes to work.

It's not just the party thats the problem- some jewellery, DS's PS4 (we are yet to tell him and he will be gutted because he saved up from a paper round to buy it himself), a laptop and some cash has been stolen.

I feel like the trust has been broken- but she is an excellent nanny and the children (including my oldest) adore her and already look at her as a member of the family. That said, she might of just "pulled the wool over our eyes"

What would you do- fire her or give her a warning? She came with impeccable references so don't think anything like this has happened before.

Also we got her through an agency- do we tell the agency anything even if we keep her on?

Also we are going to have to report the items that have gone missing to the police in order to claim on our insurance- if we keep her on, will she get in trouble for this?

OP posts:
littlegreengloworm · 20/05/2014 23:07

I can't believe you are considering keeping her. No, definitely the end of the road I think.

References are one thing, reality another.

Hope you get someone better Flowers

HygieneFreak · 20/05/2014 23:08

Omg!!!

I cant believe you even need to ask

She would be fired straightaway if she worked for me.

Yes definatley tell the agency otherwise she could do this to another family.

Were the items stolen on the night of the party?

LaurieFairyCake · 20/05/2014 23:09

Of course you can't keep her on, she had a party in your house and offloaded your kid and lied.

And then stole thousands of pounds from you or allowed it to be stolen.

What you been smoking ? Grin

bronya · 20/05/2014 23:10

Serious breach of trust. No way can you keep her on.

Solasum · 20/05/2014 23:10

So she lied to your friends, dumped your son, and invited lots of strangers into your home without your permission, who disturbed the neighbours, and stole expensive things from you? Is this really someone you want around your children?!

Sleepyfergus · 20/05/2014 23:12

How can you possibly trust her after this? It wasn't a minor indiscretion she committed but many - lying, stealing (either her or her friends), irresponsible, avoidance...

CointreauVersial · 20/05/2014 23:13

MASSIVE breach of trust. I wouldn't keep her on after that.

TilleeFloss · 20/05/2014 23:16

how tf can she be an excellent nanny?!

Original poster
thelastpost · 20/05/2014 23:16

I know the answer deep down- but typically soft old me is trying to find the good in this and reasons for keeping her. Plus it's going to cause upset to my oldest son- he's formed a real "bond" with her.

I feel like complete shit. Fuming because she has broken the trust, she has let people steal from us (or stolen herself for all we know), stolen from a 14 year old boy and then there are the feelings if I let her go that my son won't really understand and be upset that all of sudden someone he was starting to trust has disappeared. He's not the easiest of lads and finds it difficult to trust/get on with people so it's going to be a big blow.

But your right- in the long run...I don't want her near my children.

OP posts:
xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 20/05/2014 23:19

Is this real? Fire immediately and press charges for your stolen stuff.

Youdontneedacriminallawyer · 20/05/2014 23:19

It's a no brained. That is gross misconduct and you should sack her. If you really think she stole things, you should also report the theft to the police. She should not pass a future CRB check and be allowed to be alone with children/families' property again.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/05/2014 23:29

Def gross misconduct and instant dismissal

She lied - threw a party - invited strangers into your house - things were stolen

Def tell the agency what happened

NickiFury · 20/05/2014 23:31

I think it's highly unlikely she will show her face for work.

MissMilbanke · 20/05/2014 23:34

Really ? …. do you need to ask ? ….

nbee84 · 21/05/2014 07:39

OMG! Can't believe you are trying to see the good in her after this.
Gross misconduct and fire immediately - no notice and no pay is due in lieu of notice in gross misconduct situations.
My money's on her not even turning up this morning!

LettertoHerms · 21/05/2014 07:42

I would not let her in my house again. She would be fired with no notice.

I say that as a nanny myself.

Unexpected · 21/05/2014 08:13

There is NO good to see in this situation! Get rid of her immediately, report the theft to the police and let her know you are doing so and definitely tell the agency what has happened. I doubt your 14 year old will be too upset when he realises his PS4 has been stolen because of her. I'm a bit amazed that you didn't actually come home after your neighbour phoned you on Saturday (who has been looking after your son since then?) and hope the nanny hasn't disappeared never to be seen again.

Greenrememberedhills · 21/05/2014 08:36

Give yourself a sharp slap! She lied to you and dumped your child elsewhere without your permission! What could she do with the twins that you would never hear about?

SavoyCabbage · 21/05/2014 08:42

I would fire her for the lying to the friend about the family emergency. It's calculated.

Did she tell your son the same story?

How many other lies has she told that you didn't stumble upon?

blueshoes · 21/05/2014 08:52

This is a police case, not an employment case.

Is she your first nanny? OMG, you got to get a sense of perspective and protect your family. Your son will be fine, really.

PixieofCatan · 21/05/2014 09:10

I think once your son realises that his PS4 went missing because of her he'll be just as angry as you should be at her! Please do report and press charges, former employers of mine had a nanny who stole from them and didn't press charges, she went on to work for other families and stole from them too.

Even if it wasn't her who stole things, it was because of her gross misconduct that caused those things to be stolen. And FFS she shirked her duties (and I'm assuming she was paid for those duties?!) to have a party in your home, the fact that she shipped your son off to a friend's would be enough to be considered gross misconduct I'd think?

NigellasDealer · 21/05/2014 09:11

this is a joke right?

AMI88 · 21/05/2014 09:13

I would tell her during your chat, that she is fired, there is no room in your family for someone like her. Tell her that you have certain items missing, and you will be going to the police about them, so if she knows anything about it, she is to return them, no questions asked by the end of the day!

Also tell the agency.

You may love her, but she can't have much respect for you guys! Sorry and best of luck x

Floggingmolly · 21/05/2014 09:17

You hired her a month ago?? Don't be ridiculous, your children do not consider her a member of your family Hmm

Damnautocorrect · 21/05/2014 09:18

Does your 14 year old like her because she's behaving like a naughty 16 year old?!? Rather than the responsible adult she should be.

Get rid, report to the police. Can you claim the bits on house insurance?

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