AU PAIRS, allowed to work 5 hours per day so how does it work for you?

[tenalady]

Is it that she gets up at 8am with ds and works the 5 hours til 1pm then is off chore free for the rest of the day? Does she need to be paid extra if I ask her to babysit for ds for a few hours in the evening?

I dont want to use her as a slave but I do want to be fair.

How does it work in your house?

Quiet tonight aint it?

yes it is rather

Hi tenalady. So how many hours does she work in total? What was the deal when she arrrived? Like did you agree on night of babysitting as part of the deal? Or is this a new addition to her duties?

Well nothing has been agreed as yet, only light house work and speaking to my ds in her mother tongue which is French.

She arrives Wednesday

Oh, you better make out a list of duties and hours and things she can and can't do in your house.

So I take it you are expecting her to work some 25 hours a week for £60 (or whatever the going rate is -- I'm not exactly sure what it is)?

IME It saves a lot of hassle if you really plan your duties and hours including babysitting before she arrives or at the onset. Its easier to take away duties later on if not needed, than add extra things. Our Aupair works between 25-30 a week, anything over those hours I pay an hourly rate. I have always included 2 evenings babysitting a week ( although this is rare) as part of our agreement.

tenalady, the reality is that aupairs vary from 5 hours a day to more than 12. Ive heard some dreadful stories from aupairs who've left families who treated them like slaves.(7 am til 9pm, 7 days a week, anyone? )

mine works more than 5 hours a week, but I also pay a bit over the odds, and she is reading/studying for part of the time that she is on duty.
The important thing is to describe exactly what you want from her, before she comes, so that she knows what to expect. If you're honest, and she agrees beforehand, then you shouldn't have any problems. Its better to talk about details beforehand (eg if she shouldnt use the bathroom between 7 and 7.30, say so) rather than leave her to make a mistake that you've then got to speak to her about.
IME, there are certain things that you shouldnt mess with with au pairs....their weekends are sacred, they (mostly) need good access to town/shops, and they appreciate the freedom to make themselves sandwiches rather than eating with the family. (whats a few pounds spent on ham and cheese in a week, if it ensures a happy au pair?)
If they moan about their health, it means they're about to give notice. If they know how to cook more than pancakes and spaghetti bol, then you're onto a good thing (yes, I know they all say they love cooking). If they get up on time in the morning, ditto.
Your children know best, ask the au pair to move on if the children dont like her, but dont let them know why....bon chance!!

Thanks for that, will probably ask her to see to him in the mornings a quick tidy up and do some activities with him then a couple a nights babysitting a week. That doesnt sound too bad does it. Tbh I hope she takes herself off to do some sight seeing on her own but because its her first au pair job I get the feeling she will be stuck to me like glue. I will quite enjoy showing her the sights and hopefully picking up some more French language as we go. Thanks all.

Some au pair agencies organise social evenings once a fortnight or so. Could she afford an adult education evening class once a week so she could meet people if she's interested? Anything like that near where you live?

I think if an au pair doesn't babysit 2 nights a week, frankly you're not getting much out of it, are you?

Very true, We havent been used to going out since he was born so it will be quite a novelty.

And look up threads on au pair "house rules". If she doesn't get out and about on her own, take it as a sign that she is very unhappy.

Find your own! With the assistance of the collective mumsnet wisdom you will know more than they do anyway.

sittingbull - definitely find your own. Its a pain, but agencies choose from a smaller pool of candidates, and dont give satisfaction ime.

That comment about house rules lol ive just knocked one up and its pages long. Im just a fuss pot where ds is concerned, things like make sure you clean your feet when you use the trampoline.

Ive got cream carpets and I find black comes off on your feet so thought I had best mention it. Her English is ok but not great so it will be interesting.

I found my ap here \link{http://www.newaupair.com/index.aspx\

Well, she is here, I just about recognised her at the airport yesterday. Lovely girl, seems to of understood the reams of notes I have given her.

I did find it all abit higglety pigglety this morning. running the dishes under a running tap omg I said dont you know we have water shortage here!

Her and ds got ready for the day around tennish. I have felt like I have to keep her entertained but I guess that will ease in time, I hope, Im bloody exhausted.

My friend with 4 children asked her au pair to work 8.00-10.00am (to help with getting kids ready and nursery run etc) and then to take a break then come back and work from 5.00-8.00pm to help with the evening bedtime chaos/feeding frenzy (her words but she did have 4 very young children).

She did this 4 days a week with one day being 5 hours in a row so she had the afternoon off and also did one evening of babysitting for that. Other evenings of babysitting were paid for and her weekends were totally free

errrr... you don't rinse your dishes with a running tap?????

tenalady, you don't have to keep her entertained all the time. She may be glad to have the spotlight off now and again, to just sit in the garden and read a book or potter about if she isn't required to do something. It's stressful for her too, the whole new situation and the language and everything.

Can she take ds to a playground for an hour, so you have a break and she can also maybe unwind a bit? Maybe go with her, show her where it is and then leave them to it.