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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

AU PAIRS, allowed to work 5 hours per day so how does it work for you?

48 replies

tenalady · 31/07/2006 20:41

Is it that she gets up at 8am with ds and works the 5 hours til 1pm then is off chore free for the rest of the day? Does she need to be paid extra if I ask her to babysit for ds for a few hours in the evening?

I dont want to use her as a slave but I do want to be fair.

How does it work in your house?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Martini · 03/08/2006 21:09

I just wash dishes in washing up bowl - no running taps here either. Sometimes I rinse them in the water I've collected in bucket while tap was running to get water hot but then I use that water for the garden.

You're right Tenalady - there is a water shortage.

Original poster

tenalady · 04/08/2006 17:27

Yes she wasnt rinsing them just washing them under a running tap!!! No I have never rinsed my dishes, only glasses, and im still here

Today I woke to my ds downstairs using scissors and stuff, arrrgh I thought. So dh got up to see to him followed shortly by ap.

I thought right this is make or break, she understands the war and peace manual I have given and now the given chores seemed to be ignored. Mmmmmmmmm I thought, maybe I need to show her.

So this morning I literally walked her through the regular routine that I observe and maybe she will have a better understanding. I cant do higglety pigglety in the mornings.

Sorry this is getting to be a bit of a new aupairs diary.
Thought it might be helpful for others thinking of embarking on a new experience of getting an au pair.

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Original poster

tenalady · 04/08/2006 17:28

She is still lovely though cooking a french recipe as we speak. (just hope ds will eat it) fussy bugger.

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Uwila · 04/08/2006 18:51

I think so far it sounds pretty good. A settling in period and getting to know your routines and expectations is perfectly normal. If in a few weeks you feel she has made progress and is settling in then you are doing very well. Having an au pair requirem lots of management. It's just the nature of an inexperienced employee (assuming she hasn't been an au pair before). And also, don't lose sight of the fact that you haven't had an au pair before. This is a first for both of you and you will probably both need to appreciate the learning curve.

Best of luck! :-)

syrup · 04/08/2006 18:55

Please keep up the ap diary as I am about to embark on the whole thing myself ( the child minder shuffle all a bit too complicated). I seem to have found a very nice girl (Gum tree ad) she is in country with visa etc (Romanian) and we have emailed loads over the past week. I have sent her a word doc re " a day in the life" and a few house rules all of which she says she is happy with. We are meeting up for a chat on the A303 tuesday so fingers crossed. is there anything else I should be doing????

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/08/2006 18:58

Make sure she has the right visa - it should say "au pair" and see how long it has left to run (think they can stay up to 2 years and this can't be extended).

Romanians love children (huge generalisation, I know). We had a Romanian nanny for 3 years and a Romanian au pair for one. Both fab and still in touch with both.

Bear in mind also that her family are likely to be pretty poor by UK standards (our AP lived in a 2 room flat with her parents, sister and cousin - the three girls in the bedroom and the parents on sofa bed in sitting room.

syrup · 04/08/2006 19:01

Apparently has 1 year visa with poss extension of another year she has been over for 2 weeks with her sister in Wilts. Have to say she seems very nice ( if perhaps a little too pretty!!!!!)

Original poster

tenalady · 04/08/2006 21:13

It is good that you are meeting up with her. My ap writes better English than she speaks (all the same its pretty good English) better than my French
I have just put her on my car insurance (the cheapest way is as an additional driver) It was after much probing and moaning my insurance company told me this.
5 weeks at £69 or as a temp driver £95 so worth probing them for a better quote. Mind you a £350 excess if she has an accident. Ouch!

Bought a sim card from orange for a £1 and put in an old phone, perfect, have put a tenner on it and was given 300 FREE text messages this month. She knows its for English use only for Emergency or to contact me if she is lost or has a query when away from Chez Tena.

Bit of a dilemna though, my ds is really acting strange has become extraordinarily defiant (always been headstrong but blimey) Didnt bargain on him making hers and our life a misery. Hoping it will settle down.

Very nice dinner tonight by the way.

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Original poster

tenalady · 05/08/2006 16:23

I fecked up her first trip to the cinema but not having all the information to hand.
I wasnt aware they showed films with subtitles and that she could get a student discount.

She could of saved £2 on ticket and seen P of Carribbean with subtitles, must check the website before she goes again.

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Original poster

tenalady · 06/08/2006 20:22

Hasnt done anything to make me not trust her but the DH has only given her the keys to the home office and the code to access the computer. What a prat.

I feel that I cant leave the house with her in charge of ds in case she takes full advantage of using the computer which isnt in the house but in the office up the garden.

No nights out for me, I would have nightmares of her happily tapping away whilst my ds has an attack or the house begins to burn.

I also have the problem of going up and down the garden (quite big) with nowt on her feet then coming into the house with me cream carpets Arrrg
(its in my war and peace manual not to do this)!

Its easy for everyone to say well just tell her, but when you have built a little friendly relationship up which is a must for her first visit to England never mind as an AP, I am working my way up to telling her but am very conscious that I dont want to upset her.

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syrup · 06/08/2006 21:19

At least that is not a problem I should have due to a postage stamp sized garden and wooden floorboards!!

ks · 06/08/2006 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

syrup · 07/08/2006 19:25

I have just had a very keen response for the AP position from an Aussie girl currently working in a bar on the South coast. I had previously written her off as we are ownly offering board lodging and £65 pocket money. So I now am slightly torn between a very nice Romanian girl (teetotal Evangelical Christian) who I am meeting tomorrow or the aussie I know I'm asking to generalise wildly but has anyone experience? and what would you go for? I suppose I should know when I meet them but anybody elses experience would be grately received

celtic66 · 07/08/2006 21:14

IME Aussie?s work hard and play hard, easy to live with, and never to been seen at weekends and most evening. Generally tune in to expectations.
I?m similar position and need to make a decision ASAP between a non drinking smoking Romanian with evidence of lots of experience and an outgoing 20r old Finish Girl, very direct, funny and quite charming who i think kids will like.

syrup · 07/08/2006 21:27

Possibly the same non drinking non smoking romanian??????

celtic66 · 07/08/2006 21:39

she's 23 year old English teacher?

Original poster

tenalady · 07/08/2006 21:50

I have moved this thread to here in case anyone else wants to gain from our experiences

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celtic66 · 07/08/2006 22:00

Syrup ? I maybe generalising? How do they match up in terms of experience, assuming, it?s the same, I would say?.. Romanian, possibly steady option, sounds like she not going to start the day with hangover, may take longer to get to know because of language cultural difference?s but if she in the UK already with experience, then no need to start from scratch. The Aussie, possibly fit in quickly, no language issues with children, no wondering how much she REALLY understands or explaining things lots of times.

At least you will get to meet them both!

Original poster

tenalady · 08/08/2006 15:40

How did it go Syrup?

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mishmash · 08/08/2006 16:19

Our new German au-pair arrived last Saturday to absolute chaos. DS's had a friend to stay and he is a bit on the wild side so when he goes wild they tend to follow suit. Had visions of her packing up her things and getting on the first flight home.

We are having our first sit down chat this evening to go through in detail what we are expecting. Picked up a few extras from the House Rules thread!!! I know I should have done this yesterday as she was starting officially today but had forgotten to bring up my folder from work.

So far she has been very quiet, she is vegetarian, which doesn't matter except that I am not used to catering for a veggie. I told her today that if she preferred to cook her own dinner that this was fine. We always have loads of fruit and veg anyway and she asked me not to go out of my way with special food.

She is also quite young so I am just hoping it is all part of the settling in period and once she knows that she has to clear the breakfast dishes off the table that were still there when I went home at lunch today, and that DD gets dressed after her shower I'm sure things will be fine. You would assume that these would be things that you wouldn't have to point out but as someone said to me a long number of years ago "never assume anything".

I couldn't take immediate time off work due to staff shortages but will spend all day Thursday with her to get through the finer details of how to use the dishwasher, washing machine and sort out a few bits and pieces.

Kids will be back to school in a few weeks so I think that a more structured routine will help.

We are paying a bit over the odds too so she will work about 30 hours and bit of babysitting.

Uwila · 08/08/2006 16:39

oh so you took the plunge and got another one. Do you ever hear from the crabby one?

The Germans seem to like Ireland. I think they can go learn "English" in the EU without quite so much flack on Remembrance Day.

I'd like to have a German nanny but could never afford one. Maybe I'll get a German Au pair when the kids are in school full time.

mishmash · 08/08/2006 23:28

Hello Missus
Ya went for an au-pair (obviously) - sat down tonight and had a great chat with her and don;t think we will have any problems.

As for my last lady - well we still see her. I did end up feeling completely sorry for her because all that happened really was his fault and she just became totally overwhelmed by her situation. Her world did really crash around her. She comes to do my ironing which she was always a dab hand at.

Glad A is still with you and working out so well.

Will catch you on MSN one of these fine nights - now that I am hoping to be less stressful in the evenings

syrup · 17/08/2006 19:56

Hi tenalady just returned from a most relaxing (not) holiday in a log cabin in N Devon all I can say is WEATHER!!. Anyhow met the "prospective one" at a very dodgy pub (my choice not a good one) on the a303. She came with her sister (she asked in advance as she is staying with her and was going to take the bus)
It turns out theat her sister has been an AP for the same family for 20 months and it was her host family who arranged the younger sisters visa etc. The two were really lovely girls both roared with laughter when I mentioned not wanting overnight male visitors ( VERY devout Christians) her English was not great but she seemed to be very bright and certainly understood everything ( shes trying to save enough money to return to study medicine). She didn't make a fuss with the boys which was great and when one fell over and got a dirty arm she just brushed the dirt off with no fuss I think i may be on to a winner so fingers crossed she will be starting sept 2nd

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