Probably overreacting as a bit stressed, hot and bothered, but ...

[incognitotoday]

got home today after work and dd almost promptly went into a major screaming/crying fit because I told her off again for throwing the frisbee inside after already having nearly driven me insane with incessant 'how many more minutes' till the cakes we were baking are ready... that's me having been home for about 15 minutes (cakes = premix fairy cakes)

So I sent dd to her room because she'd had enough warnings re frisbee indoors and hurting people (she got my ancle)

Innocently asked my nanny whether she gets fits like that with her? Nanny said that now is just 'leaving me to it with the kids as soon as I come home because she doesn't want to contradict me'. And 'no with me she knows what she can and can't do' with a bit of an attutide. WTF?

I know we're having 'issues' atm re timekeeping/attendance but not once have I criticised in how she deals with the kids. So where the hell did that come from?

Also dd has her fits but they don't actually get her anyway except for longer time in her room or mama not being able to find dd because all I can see is the grumpy screaming little monster...

Rant over

No no Ingodnito. Don't do that. Get yourself sorted. You might find you don't like the nursery and then you don't want nanny leaving too soon anyway, at least not until you find another one. Then, when you are in a position to give her notice do so.

Just keep it short with nanny. Do the handover is quickly and pleasantly as possible.

IMO you should keep quiet until next week. Wait until you have seen the nurseries. You don't want her being even more stroppy. I have just found a wonderful nursery for ds1 to start 3 afternoons in Jan (when he will be 2 and a bit). I haven't said a word to our nanny because we haven't decided yet whether to keep her on to spend time with ds2 on those afternoons or whether to let her go. We'll tell her well in advance but if I told her now so soon after all this broo-ha-ha we've been having it'll just make it all so much worse.

Don't forget that everything is so much worse because this is all happening in your house and with your children. I was Ms Tough-as-Boots-no-nonsense at work but I'm shite at this nanny stuff.

I'll wait, just so bloody frustrated atm ...

@ Ms. Tough-as-Boots-no-nonsense at work

Hopefully I like one of the 2 nurseries because otherwise I'm in trouble... all the others have waiting lists for start 2007! There are others that probably have spaces but I've deemed them too far away.

Fingers crossed for you.

Incognito, I really feel for you. As a nanny I know part of my job is to make the parents life easier, and like nannyj said, even if the kids do behave better for me I would NEVER be so tactless as to tell the parents that (even if the parents already know, which is the case 99% of the time) ! It sounds like your nanny needs to be moved on, so she can deal with whatever issues she has. You don't need the added stress she is putting you under. Neither does the rest of your family at home. I really hope one of the nurseries you look at is a good fit, so you can tell your nanny your circumstances/needs have changed. I hope that things improve soon for you.

Hi Incognito. I have just caught up on the thread afetr being offline for a few days (busy as I started back at work). I think the nanny has to go but I would definately wait until plan B was in place. I hope the search for the nursery went well. I really just wanted to say that I think you are right in everything you said. Sounds like nanny has some growing up to do or maybe a career change. Best of luck.