So angry - music group wants to exclude nannies

[muminaquandary]

Can't quite believe this - have just been left a message by snotty music group leader that DS's nanny cannot take him to a music group booked up for next week. I had left what I thought was a courtesy only message to explain that I was heavily pgnant & running over deadline with a piece of work, so I would not be attending, but the highly competent and lovely Mrs Nanny would be instead ...... then I get back some mealy mouthed message about how the group is set up for parents only ....

so what would they do if I'd had the baby early / broken my leg / had another, sick, child???

DH has left them a message and we are waiting to hear what they say but really and

Name and shame muminaquandary - that is discriminatory against children with carers for some or all of the week.
Take it to the local paper, I dare you.

god if only I could be bothered ... far too hot and pgnant, but hey I can tell you lot:

SUZUKI YOUNG MUSICIANS GROUP LEADERS ARE SNOTTY SNOBS

feel better already

What????

How odd. The only thing I can think of is that they have had some really vile experience with a nanny / nannies and have made this rule to avoid a repeat performance.

Of course they can in fact do what they like, I think - they aren't obliged to take anyone they don't want to. But it really does seem unreasonable / bizarre - I wonder if speaking to the leader in person would be more helpful?

that's bizarre? i can't understand that at all.

I have tried to spk to the leader in person, I have left 1 message, DH 2, but we have had no response. It seems incredibly precious to me, some mumbo jumbo about the parent and child needing to be fully committed .... so basically they are only opening their classes to SAHMs with 1 child only & no personal health issues ....

Outrageous to the extreme! It's for the children for god's sake why does it matter who brings them?
I'd boycott the group and encourage others to do the same.

Oh I see MIAQ

At groups where they have some strict philosophies like this they do make all sorts of rules. It's the same at Steiner schools, for instance. I would find another music group that's a bit less barking.

I know a friend whose children attend a Suzuki music group, and she has said that they insist that a parent attends, because the parents need to be involved in helping their child practise the music, and need to be at the lesson to see what goes on. I can understand this idea as a general rule, but it does seem a bit inflexible, if you can't even send the child with someone else as a one-off.

But a group that is run for 3-4 yr olds, as a taster, surely that is a bit extreme?? It is not the lessons that we are starting, so I would assume no practice involved ....

Oh, I see... Well, I can't really understand that then. If that is a "taster" then I guess you will probably decide its not for you.

have you paid in advance? were you aware that only parents could bring your ds? If the answers are yes and no then I would inform them that they can either refund you or your ds will be coming with nanny. If they opt for refund I would also ask them to refund you for any other lessons you have paid for as you can't guarantee that you will be able to bring ds personally. If they back down and let your nanny take ds then I would only continue until the end of the period you have paid for and then tell them that you're finding another music group where nanny will be welcome. sorry but some people are so up their own backsides it's untrue. whatever gubbins they trot out about the benefits of the parent being totally committed is, imnsho, rubbish. my kids loved going to their music classes with someone other than me because they loved introducing a different person to part of their life, and loved showing off their singing/dancing. And in general I think that kids get a lot more out of life if it is organised in way that has its feet on the ground - ie that mum might not always be able to do everything (esp when heavily pg!) and that other adults are there to play a role in their lives as well. ohhh but Jemima can't possibly learn how to shake a tambourine if mummy isn't committed. and if she' doesn;t learn how to shake a tambourine properly then she simply won't benefit from our music lessons and really you might as well not bother. what utter TOSH. don;t know why but this has made me really

the Suzuki-wallahs have cashed my cheque & I have just been back on to their website which merely states classes for children with parent, but no special explanation or exclusion clause for nannies

what about orphaned children, those with single mothers, those with parents with health issues, other siblings, oh f*ck so

of course this is just increasing my guilt too about the fact that I am STILL working and about to have a baby and had really wanted some special time with DS before no 2 arrives but NEVER MIND these wallies have clearly never had this sort of conflict in their lives

Outrageous. Have you paid for this class? I would definately not send my kid (nor my money!) to this organisation.

An this bit about the parent having to go because the parent has to be involved makes no sense because the nany is the one caring for the child all day and therefore by that reasoning it is she who needs to be involved in oreder to continue the teaching outside of class.

Yeah, it really pisses me off when someone else tells me which part of MY parenting a can delegate to my nanny.

Too bad you didn't put the name of the place, let's all say SUZUKI, in the thread title.

these wallies have clearly never had this sort of conflict in their lives

• I think you're spot on. life is clearly very simple for some people.

this is such bolleaux

3/4 yr olds and parents "must be committed" - what a load of smug old cack

makes me so cross - it just reinforces the idea that music/classical music is for the elite only and must be taken ridiculously serious.

seriously. blimey they wouldn't let me and my terrible typing in.

snotty gits

yes - not remotely relevant that miaq's ds might actually enjoy going with nanny. it's not about enjoyment for heaven's sake.

I think we should link this thread to Nannyjob.co.uk and see what they think. Perhaps we could get a get of bad press for suzuki-wallah over there.

Right, I've done it. nanny job thread

well DH as managed to speak to the Precious One from Suzuki in person, and has characterised it to me as "the most annoying conversation I have ever had in my life" - as it was clearly all a bit much for this chappie to have a plebby old nanny in the group for a week .... however, DH being DH he has managed to get them to offer a refund & heartfelt apologies ....grrr still makes me totally p*ssed off, I hope they never have to deal with people like us again, as we are clearly terribly difficult and non-Suzuki-minded .... gosh, maybe he knows that our CD collection doesn't include the seminal recording of Brahms' piano concertos 1 & 2 by Emil Gilels .... & that DH once played on his Nintendo during a piano recital as a child

I have always had reservations about the Suzuki method per se but to hear it is also administered by Stalinist fusspots is the final straw frankly

excellent work Uwila

yes I think the suzuki method of actually teaching children instruments is deeply weird

glad your DH got a refund!

Ok, what is Suzuki music? Not that my kids would be welcome.

I agree with Mrs JC wholeheartedly.
bloody music ponces, makes my blood boil. so much for accesibility, eh?
hope he garottes himself on his own bow.