Pregnant nanny

[Ihatenicknames]

Our nanny has just told me that she is pregnant. She wants to come back to work after maternity leave of around 6 months. This is not my preference as I think it will cause too much disruption for my girls. They are still very young and just as they have got used to a new person they will have to cope with another change. I know that there is nothing I can do legally to prevent her returning to work but I was thinking of talking to her and trying to show her that her choices are not in the girls' best interests. Has anyone else dealt with this issue before? Any advice? Thanks

But you get 105% of maternity pay back from government so actually end up in profit

I have to agree with previous posters who have pointed out that you took on risks and responsibilities as an employer (which you were presumably aware of) when you entered into a contract with your nanny. Your nanny took on risks and responsibilities as an employee.

I think it would be helpful if you could clarify whether or not your nanny is asking to return to work with her baby or not?

WhatSleep (i like your name) for the record I have a full time nanny for my 2 preschoolers but am still caring for them 6-8pm inc bath and bedtime, up with one or both several times in night (5 month old bf baby or 3 year old with nightmares or whatever); and have loads of housework to share with DH after they're asleep any 8:30pm. Our lovely nanny doesn't have cleaning or housework in her job description - just nursery duties - so we do washing cleaning recycling ironing clearing up toys nanny didn't clear sorting out dog, dealing with problem of the week, broken equipment, garden etc. finally sit down about 9:30pm for an hour wind-down but usually phone calls with my mum/mil/family members (we live overseas) or online shopping or bill paying. And of course all nanny tax paperwork! I have a cleaner for 3 hours a week but besides bathrooms and a little ironing it doesn't hugely lessen on cleaning duties the other six days of the week.

(sorry for off topic rant, am a bit tired at mo and don't want to perpetuate illusions that I get in from work and relax all eve!)
Ps typing this while feeding baby to sleep in her room, I guess this is relaxing but I need to get the washing on and vacuum put when I go downstairs!

Larkin nursery duties covers children's laundry, changing children's beds, tidying children's rooms/play areas.

Don't iron unless essential. Life is too short and no-one ever looked back on their life and thought 'if only my clothes were slightly less creased...'

With no ironing the cleaner now has three hours to hoover through, clean bathrooms and kitchen. I'd maybe increase to 4 hours.

Relax!

wow, I'm really shocked.

I am a nanny, and am incredibly grateful that i can bring my little girl with me. I was not in this job when I fell pregnant, this is a new employment. I am thankful that the family saw the value of having someone with their own child. I genuinely believe I cannot offer the same level of companionship as an adult, as two children can have with each other- no matter how good a parent or nanny I am. . and I like to think I'm pretty darn good at both! But these families are few and far between and I sincerely hope that I earn my place to stay as long as possible. My girl has forged a beautiful friendship and as usual, I love my charge like my own- I always have done when I nanny.

If I were to fall pregnant (which is definitely not the plan for another 5+ years!) I would so hope that whoever I may be working for would be fully supporting me in the hope I return to them. I have a friend who has been treated extremely well, and returned when her girl was just 3-4 months old. I was fortunate enough to have 15 month maternity leave (I was in a different employment of childcare, not Nannying at the time) and was so grateful for it- BUT if I were to fall pregnant, I would wholeheartedly appreciate every support from my employer and it would certainly influence my decision to return earlier.

It shocks me that you would cut her loose so easily. Maybe i take things more personally- but as a parent myself, and a nanny- I look for families that treat ME (us) like family. How can you not? You are caring for their babies, sole charge.. you are being trusted with the most precious things in their lives.. The fact that you are happy to just have her leave because she's pregnant, instead of being excited for her- and considering being flexible on her conditions when she returns.. I just. well- what can i say. I'm glad I don't work for you. Surly your children, having forged a close relationship will be excited for her return- it's not like she'll dissapear for 9 months.. she would visit, introduce baby.. keep in regular contact and if you got your act together, would likely return much sooner.

.. on that note, I'd sure as hell be following the appropriate routes if what your suggesting were being said to me, and I don't doubt your nanny won't consider doing the same. You are out of line, for sure.

p.s..Outraged. Im loving this! :
Don't iron unless essential. Life is too short and no-one ever looked back on their life and thought 'if only my clothes were slightly less creased...

It is terribly hard for working parents with small children, no sleep, doing your cleaning in the evenings and when you can hardly prise your eyes open then have to tackle HMRC stuff. The hours and hours of time that it takes to do nanny tax, SMP claims and forms is no way compensated by the 5% tiny tiny compensation for organising it all. I was delighted they had all their babies whilst working for us because I love babies but let us not pretend it is at all easy for hard working parents. It is massively dreadfully horrible and for the child to miss the nanny, lose the bond and then jstu as they bond with someone else that second person is prized away is of course the very very worst bit of it. If the nanny takes 4 weeks as ours did then that's not so bad. If she's away 6 months the child will be used to someone else by then. It is a very difficult issue.

It is difficult, but emotionally blackmailing your nanny out of her job is not the answer nor is removing rights to maternity leave/pay etc.

A reasonable employer and a reasonable nanny can make it work. There is no need for nanny A to disappear for 6 months, replaced by nanny B, then nanny B disappears and nanny A is back.

The children can visit nanny A and her baby, nanny A can visit them. Maybe she can return part time, one day a week or a few afternoons a week earlier than she plans to return full time. Nanny B can be used for babysitting/cover after nanny A returns. The children can form bonds with both of them. Only emotionally maladjusted children will struggle to form bonds with two different, caring adults. It's how children manage to love and be loved by parents, siblings, grandparents, family friends, uncles, aunts, cousins, neighbours, teacher, childminders, nannies, coaches etc.

Thanks Outraged! I am an anti-ironed generally but I'm in a representational job for a big international organization and looking professionally non-wrinkled helps! Our nanny is not quite up to speed with the nursery duties at mo as the baby isn't sleeping much in the day so I've told her she can ease off for now. She does do all childrens laundry, cooking, cleans kitchen mostly at end of day and plenty more, but there's always piles of toys out, tidying to do, children's shoes to retrieve from garden etc.

I honestly have low standards but tonight for example is the weekly 'clean up for the cleaner' dash. The admin and bill paying also takes a lot of time and vital jobs like applying for a new passport or getting tax return in on time weigh over me. Not to mention guilt over not having phoned my sick grandmother for weeks, sent those thank you cards, sorted out that favour a friend asked and so much more.

Talk about first world problems! I'm happy DH and I have our much-loved careers but goodness I could do with a wife!

Hold on a second. You do realise that the people employing Nannys are individuals not companies and are paying out of their take home pay for this service? I'm not saying that Nannys don't or shouldn't have rights but consider someone like me who is self employed, didn't get maternity leave, don't get paid on national holidays, sick days or personal holidays but I have to pay a nanny out of my private and not so huge earnings, for days she doesn't work and on days I earn nothing to offset the cost. I get that this is the way the nanny system works but I would love to be able to pay a day rate, for days worked, just as I am paid a day rate for days worked. I'm sure ill get slammed for suggesting that but this how most other services are charged.

^^

Dro you are not FORCED to employ anyone!!! FFS!!!!!

Xenia - Oh woe is me, I have to fill in some smp forms after I hoover - your attitudes are disgusting!!!

Honestly!!!

Dro you can. You can get a temp nanny who works self-employed or you can use a childminder (also self-employed). If you choose to employ a nanny because of the benefits that brings you and your children the you choose to take on the responsibilities of employing someone.

Good grief!!

Xenia

I'm very confused by your posts on the one hand you cry that no woman should stay at home and be the drudge but then on the other hand bemoan that life is so hard for working parents because you have to do the drudgery in the evening.

Staying at home looking after your own family isn t the issue - life is. Some women/men actually enjoy looking after their own children.
Your ridiculous comments about exempting nannies from Employment Protection laws and exempting all small companies will mean that all women would have to, go back to work after 2 weeks, to use your example, and would then find themselves in the situation you are moaning about of being horribly tired etc etc.

You chose to go back so soon- v v v few make a similar choice

I didn't know there is such a thing as a self employed temp nanny, worth looking into. I have made the decision to employ a nanny, understanding that there is contractual expectations etc. because my little one is very tiny and I am not ready to have him minded outside yet but financially I need to go back to work. So I know I have to accept the hit of having to pay holiday pay and sick pay in order to have the piece of mind now, even if it stretches us.

Just a quick question - is it usual for a Nanny to take their baby to work with them after Maternity leave? Because no other employee has that ability.

So surely the OP would be well within her rights as an employer NOT to expect her employees baby to be brought to work with her?

CouthyMow -- a nanny who brings her baby to work after ML is usually paid less than one who doesn't (and it's a material change in the contract so not something she can insist on). So an employer is indeed well within her rights NOT to expect her employees baby to be brought to work with her, but a lot of them are remarkably reconciled to the idea by the overall cost saving.

It's common for a nanny to take her baby to work with her after ML. Savings for the parents as Tolliver says and if she's been a great nanny pre-ML a good way to encourage her to come back.

The OP would be absolutely well-within her rights to not want the nanny to bring her baby.

However, this is isn't what the OP has said, it isn't what this thread is really about.

It's a completely separate issue.

"But you get 105% of maternity pay back from government so actually end up in profit"

Not quite - the 5% is to cover employer's national insurance which you still have to pay while the nanny is on maternity leave. The nanny also acrues holiday pay whilst on leave which isn't covered by the government. So if she takes the full year off that is another 5.6 weeks pay (or more if the holiday pay in the contract is more generous than this)

Remember that temp self employed nannies lent be working in a long term basis. They can be self-employed because they choose when they are or are not available and work for multiple different families. If continuity is important a temp nanny (so one who can be self-employed) is not an option.

A self employed nanny picked when they work. So if you want someone 8-6 mon-fri, but they choose 9-4 mon-thurs then that wouldn't work. That is why nannies are generally employed as their employer tells them what hours.

The sisterhood really is dead isn't it OP. I wiuld ask ehr back and welcome her child too, it cannot possibly harm your own children, the more the merrier. If you have someone committed to returning to work after she has her own child, why would you not make it easy for her? What you are doing is insidious, and I hope she nails you for it. This is constructive dismissal.

Nom, Forever she wants the benefits of having a self-employed nanny, let her see how it works in reality!

Couthymow.......there are perks to all jobs. If I worked in an office I would work shorter days, would have real lunch breaks and would be able to book time off without being made to feel guilty. As it is, I am a nanny (currently to a wonderful family) who are really pleased for me now that I'm pregnant and are totally supportive.

Xenia.......your nanny is also a working parent who works longer days than you and still has to do her housework, shopping, cooking etc after her very long days at work

outraged indeed but it winds me up to see ads for SE perm nannies. Some people just don't quite get that fundamental temp/in charge of the hours they work thing.

See, this is why I gave up child care. Children are 'more important' (to some) on a scale if how much you earn. My friend was dismissed after having a MC (which wasn't convenient to her employer) and after 3 days off plus one wknd was told not to bother coming back. I then found out from the friends of this mother that they were informed she walked out!!

Nobody's child is more important than another. Suck it up and get over yourself (or only hire men or over 60s!!)

Subservience is alive and kicking in the 'menial' world of nannying, still.