Am I over reacting - charge in soaked nappy yet fully dressed?

[DillyDallyDayDream]

Turned up to work yesterday morning to find my charge (14 months) fully dressed but with a soaking wet nappy - clearly the one he had slept in. The poor child was soaked through to his trousers

Am I over reacting by telling mum boss that I felt this was out of order and not fair or nice for my charge?

Maybe he did not want to take the nappy off? Maybe he was dryish before getting dressed.

Don't sweat the small stuff, just get on with things. If it becomes a very regular occurance and it affects his skin, then perhaps suggest some nappy free time in the morning, rather than getting him fully dressed.

I would say you should be careful before you say anything or you might find yourself job hunting.

Is it the first time he's been like that?

This nappy was soaked through and she was putting his trousers on as I arrived. He is always more than happy to take his nappy off.

I've also arrived to find him in a soiled nappy that's dried on to his skin.

seems strange for mum to have dressed him but not changed his nappy?!

if this is happening regularly, then no, you are not over reacting and it is a form of neglect. If it's a one off, then there may be a reasonable explanation for it - can't think what but you know the family and i'm sure you would know if there are any issues with neglect....

The nappy was soo full there was no way it wasn't very wet or worth changing when getting him dressed

ok, so it's happening regularly...

in that case, it's a form of neglect. i am a childminder, i don't know what procedure would be for nannies, but as a childminder, i would report a parent to social services for neglect if a child was being regularly left in soaking wet nappies and dirty nappies.

do you have other concerns??

It will have been an honest mistake. There's no reason someone would bother to dress a child without doing the nappy, so perhaps the mum got distracted and forgot to do the nappy. Why on earth do you think she did it deliberately?

If I get him dressed I tend to change his nappy unless its bone dry and throughout the day I make sure his nappy isn't bulging with wetness

Ah, so it's happened before. Say what you need to say to her then.

I'm not saying it was deliberate but just it's the second time within 7 working days (I work 5 days a week) that he's been in a wet or soiled nappy.

Perhaps a "Don't worry about dressing him if you're in a hurry, just change his nappy and I'll sort the rest when I get here" will be a big enough hint to her that she needs to get herself organised re hygiene.

Reetpetit - my only other concerns would be his hair is long and in his eyes causing conjunctivitis - even the doc commented on it

And his skin is so dry it's flaking - he wasn't like this until last week.

can you not raise it with mum?

My nanny would raises stuff like this with me - like DD has a spot, or she's a bit sore for example

it shows me she's looking out for them

do you not able to raise it in a non confrontational way?

These are all things you should be saying something about. Is there anything you need to do to help his conjunctivitis, like clipping his hair back to stop dipping the infection back into his eyes? Is there a lotion you should/could be putting on his dry skin?

i would mention the nappy as Springtime suggested Dilly...

the hair thing, mum must know what the doctor said, so maybe you could say something along the lines of 'when are you getting x's hair cut? did you want me to take him this week?'

the skin, i would mention to mum too - do you have a daily diary? can you just mention how dry it is and suggest some moisturiser? I do this and don't think my parents have taken offence.

but the issue also op is, why does she need a nanny to remind her of these things!! this is her child!! is she that busy that she can't take care of his basic health needs?

seems a little strange

first thing you do when child wakes up is change the nappy - esp if have taken pj's off and into clean clothes

one of my ex boss's was terrible at changing nappies and i would arrive at 8am and child be in soggy/down to knees/almost disintegrated nappy - you know when take it off and has turned to crystals :( but was in pj's so i just did it

if was in a poo/affecting skin then would have said something

can the hair be clipped back? boy or girl?

I've been subtly mentioning hair for about 4 weeks. And get yeh it's being done on Sat etc etc, I tie it back but it gets pulled out. Mum leaves it down as have seen them out a few times and its down in his eyes

The skin I've been moisturising and have mentioned everyday - on Friday it seemed a lot better then yesterday
dry again so guessing she didn't do anything over the weekend

The nappy thing I kind of let go the first time but now it's happened again I feel I need to say something

is mum depressed? not coping? or just busy?

I think just really busy although have noticed things are tense in the house. I've asked her for a chat Tomo as her eldest has mentioned a few things ('daddy keeps shouting at mummy' , 'daddy didnt come home' - was due to)

Well there is your answer then..

Talk about a drip-feed!

that's not a reason for neglect thought Alibaba!!

i have been through a break up - i didn't start neglecting my children's basic health needs because of it

Whether things are tense or not she shouldn't be leaving her child in the ways she has

Since I've been here they've never had a great relationship - eldest tells me this a lot and it seems the norm

I'm not suggesting that is an excuse for neglect, but it doesn't take a detective to work out that if these things have only been happening recently then there is something behind it - which in this case could very well be the problems in the OP's boss' marriage.

Find it bizarre also that she is happy to say 'your eldest tells me your H didn't come home', and yet she can't raise the issue of wet nappies and fry skin with the same ease.

I've mentioned the dry skin every day he's had it