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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Childminder- Am I Being Precious?

29 replies

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 15/08/2012 16:47

For being cross that our childminder has toy guns in her house, that our 4yr old is playing incessantly with?
They belong to her son.
How would you deal with this ?

OP posts:
eastmidlandsnightnanny · 15/08/2012 16:54

I personally dont agree on toy guns however children will use anything to replicate on a stick when out on a walk for example.

I think I would just say I would rather my son didnt play with toy guns unless they are part of an activity you are doing ie - she may do something on war if children ask about it and then maybe appropriate to say this is a gun that soliders use or something like that.

HSMM · 15/08/2012 17:40

We use a gun as a starting pistol, but it is usually put away. The children make stick guns and duplo guns anyway. Talk to her and see what she says.

Chocoholiday · 15/08/2012 18:03

For me it's all about how they play with the guns. If its loud, aggressive and nasty, it makes no difference if it's a wooden stick or a bonafide AK47 toy copy they're using. If they are playing imaginatively with each other and just having fun, I think it's fine. It's all about the associated behaviour, so maybe talk to your cm about that and take it from there.

PedanticPanda · 15/08/2012 18:06

I banned guns from my ds as I really didn't like the idea of him playing with them either, so he turned his umbrella into a gun instead...

Original poster
NannyPlumIsMyMum · 15/08/2012 18:14

Yes I'm aware that they turn innocent objects into weapons , but there is a difference between that and sanctioning their use by giving them replicas to play with.
Guns are only made for thing .. Its not as though they are multi purpose toys.

OP posts:
NickNacks · 15/08/2012 18:16

So just say, 'I'd rather he didn't play with the toy guns if that's ok?'

Nothing more, nothing less. It doesn't have to turn into a big deal.

saintlyjimjams · 15/08/2012 18:19

How do you know he's playing incessantly with him (and if he is would he play with them less if you had them at home so they weren't so exciting iyswim).

MyBestfriendsWedding · 15/08/2012 18:24

If you feel uncomfortable with this type of play then you should speak to your CM. I have 2 DS' who make guns and lightsabers out of everything! I used to dislike the idea of them playing these types of games, but they soon get fed up and move onto the next thing. We have a couple of Nerf guns that are kept in their bedroom. I don't allow them to play them if I'm childminding though.

floranora · 15/08/2012 18:33

jesus! they are toys guns. Get a bloody life!

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/08/2012 18:33

i dont like children playing with proper guns but also know they will make a gun out of fingers/lego/brolly etc

floranora · 15/08/2012 18:38

Blondeshavemorefun 'i dont like children playing with proper guns' i dont think there are many people that do! Confused

Xabian · 15/08/2012 19:20

i too have a problem with children playing with toy guns.

Yes they will use a stick and "pretend" but that doesn't mean that I need to accept inappropriate toys into my house.

Speak to your CM..... I'm sure she won't have a problem with you telling her that you're not happy for your child to be playing with guns.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 15/08/2012 19:30

Never allowed toy guns.
I agree with nick just explain you don't want him to play with te guns. No fuss.
I am surprised she has them. I thought CMs had to ave appropriate toys and all that kind of malarkey.

flora what a stupid comment.

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/08/2012 19:44

Thanks mrsd - you knew what I meant :)

Nannysearcher · 15/08/2012 19:55

Not keen myself.

Redglow · 15/08/2012 20:04

Just say you would rather he did not play with it. It's not a massive deal. Blondes your comment made me spit my tea out. Well to be fair I didn't see anything wrong with it untill mrsd pointed it out. Do you let them play with proper knives too.?(smile)

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 15/08/2012 20:16

Over the last twenty years I have come in for a lot of flack because my 5dcs have not been allowed guns.
I don't make a big deal about it. I just do not feel that imitation killing machines are appropriate pay things for my kids.
I don't preach but others have felt the need to tell me how stupid my ideas are. Why do they need to insist that I give my kids guns?
What's it to them Confused

I have heard 'they are going to come in to contact with them one day anyway' whaaa?
'they are a fact of life' double whaaaa?

I live in east London. Guns are not for paying with. Not for my kids.

Original poster
NannyPlumIsMyMum · 15/08/2012 22:11

mrsdevere my sentiments exactly.

I could not have put it better myself.

Like I said earlier - guns are for one thing only - killing - as far as I'm concerned there is nothing positive to be gained out of toy replica guns.

Will speak to CM about it as I really don't want to compromise my values on this.

OP posts:
Original poster
NannyPlumIsMyMum · 15/08/2012 22:11

Thanks xabian too.

OP posts:
Original poster
NannyPlumIsMyMum · 15/08/2012 22:13

Would be interested to hear your other parenting philosophies flora, that was so erm, helpful and insightful.

OP posts:
Saltire · 15/08/2012 22:14

The problem I have is a 5 year old mindee who wants to "make" cardboard guns,daggers, sword and other weapons. the latest thing he wanted to make was one of those ball things with spikes coming out of it, medevil weapon! I was Hmm when he said that what he wanted.

janesun · 15/08/2012 22:39

Imaginative and dramatic play is used in a childcare setting for children to make- believe, stimulate recall memory, challenge ideas and concepts they see in their world.

With this in mind, I really do not believe there is a place for replicas of weapons in a learning environment. Pretending to kill or harm should not be considered as 'play'.

Tell her you do not want your child playing with weapons.

ReetPetit · 15/08/2012 23:21

so sorry but lol lol lol Grin at flora!!

sorry op but you are being a tad pfb. as you are using a cm you can not really sanction what her kids have to play with in their own home. although i see your point and am not overly keen myself i wouldn't think it's worth making too much of a fuss over if you are happy with everything else. you could let cm know you are not keen by saying so to your ds infront of her but i'm afraid she might not take much notice as she obviously doesn't see it as much of an issue if she has them for her own kids.

Chocoholiday · 15/08/2012 23:57

I wrote an article once about how an early years setting completely changed their view on gun play after coming across this book: www.mcgraw-hill.co.uk/html/0335210899.html

saintlyjimjams · 16/08/2012 08:41

Do you have a link to the article Chocoholiday? I'd be interested to read it. Or if it would out you can you summarise?

We've always had guns around (somewhere - no idea where they are - prob the bottom of the dressing up box) but ds2 and ds3 have never shown much interested in playing with them. Swords, shields, and their personal favourites lightsabers yes, but not guns. Most of their lightsaber play seems to revolve around chasing, it's never struck me as particularly violent.