Childminder- Am I Being Precious?

[NannyPlumIsMyMum]

For being cross that our childminder has toy guns in her house, that our 4yr old is playing incessantly with?
They belong to her son.
How would you deal with this ?

It's not online and anyway I'd completely out myself but it was about how this head mistress of a very old school Montessori setting came across the book We Don't Play With Guns Here, which argues that playing with pretend weapons is a natural part of children's development. The idea that guns etc. are just bad arose with the anti-war movement in the 1960s and the author researched how most UK preschool settings had just accepted as fact that gun play equals glamorising violence and violent kids.

So the woman I interviewed said they thought nothing of girls using a stick to pretend paint their nails, but went crinkle lipped if boys used the same stick to "shoot" someone. They'd think the first is cute and the second bad, even though they'd both be using the same stick and exploring their identities in a natural way.

After that they changed their policy and decided to allow gun/weapon/superhero play and use it as a platform for talking to the kids about their fantasy worlds. They ended up exploring knights and dragons, star wars, pirates, Romans, etc. and had amazing games, chats and art sessions as a result. She felt that allowing kids - esp. boys - to explore these games with adult interaction was good for their development and esp. male identities - the key is adults observing, engaging with and guiding their play.

I was initially completely against guns etc but changed my mind because my DTs had so much fun with swords, pistols, light sabres etc. It's never been a problem for us and they are peaceful, well behaved kids. So it's not about the toy itself for me, but how kids play with it.

The balls with spikes are probably pictured in things like Ladybird and Usborne guides to Knights or Castles.

OP I don't think you are being PFB to ask that these toys aren't out when your child is there.

Oh that's interesting chocoholiday. And reflects the way I've seen this play in our house. I haven't ever really been concerned about the way they play with them (a lot of fencing with lightsabers or swords, quite a lot of use of the 'the force' and a lot of chasing). Occasionally the boys have said something that I have felt inappropriate - but not as far as I can remember when playing with those toys, usually just when annoyed with each other!

Ive changed my view on toy guns actually. I was vehemently against them. My son really really wanted one but I said no, but as everyone else says, they pick up the pow pow you're dead thing from other children, and will turn anything into a gun...yes ANYTHING. So then i tried to prevent my son from saying things like' you're dead, im going to shoot you' etc but eventually you think, this is ridiculous...lets call a spade a spade. they are role playing and shooting, not stunning each other or freezing each other.

Weapon/gun play can actually be terrific role play, and bonding forming relationships too believe it or not. How many times have I been pow powed, fallen dramatically to the floor only to have my 4 year old then leap on top of me and we all end up in giggles. My son knows guns are bad, but he knows that the one he has got is a TOY and so is not bad. Besides which, you should see the amazing construction he made out of his weapons the other day. It had nothing to do with killing, but his plastic sword was wedged into the garden...surrounded by carefully placed flower pots in a pretty pattern, on top of it he'd balanced another pot, tied a piece of string through it, hung the string so it attached to the fence and made spiderman abseil down the string. Next to it was a stick, another pot and toy gun all in a very special formation. He played, constructed and concentrated for hours...alone and was very very happy. Yes, as I say, i have no objection to guns anymore...and I am a childminder.