CM's - do you let mindees play in your children's rooms?

[Saltire]

Do you let them go upstairs to the childrens rooms and get toys to bring down and play with
Do you ask your DCs if mindees can play with their toys - lego for example or star wars toys?

Mindee 1 - who is 9 - and I have mentioned on here before how he is a bit bossy and a bit of a know all, keeps aksing, repeatedly if he cna play with DS2's lego (he ahs a huge collection) or star wars toys or Dr Who toys.
I keep saying no, that there's plenty of toys down stiars for him to play with, but he says that are "boring".

I feel that my DCs are entitled to have some space and privacy of their own. I just wondered if others feel the same

I don't let dd2 play in dd1's room without her being there as I don't want her messing up dd1's things.

Perhaps you could ask your ds if you could bring the Lego out for the other lad to play with.

I only allow them upstairs if ds wants them up there but after they tipped loads of Lego out the other day and took forever tidying it won't be happening again for a while. One mindee asks quite often but I tell them that's Ds' space and his special toys are kept up there. Ds2 has special toys downstairs that they know are off limits.

No, unless the mindees are playing with my DD. My DD knows that if she doesn't want the mindees to touch her toys she must put them away in her room. Any toys outside of her room are fair game.

Unless your DS is there to give his permission I wouldn't allow anyone to touch his things or go into his room. I'm sure you wouldn't be happy if someone used your things without asking.

No, unless the child-room-owner is there and says it's ok. Absolutely not. Tell your mindee that only the boring are bored.

Not a childminder but no I wouldn't allow them upstairs at all it is still your home after all and there should be a clear boundary

What exactly do you have for the nine year old to play with?
Do you provide any Lego for him?

Like the others, mindees are only allowed in their rooms if my child wants them to (and I'm happy for that - depends on circumstances at the time). If my children decided to bring toys downstairs to play with, they have to be willing to share (i.e. if they walk away from it then it's available to the others as it's downstairs). My ds1 also has a very large collection of lego and if he chooses to bring it down to share then that's fine but I'd never bring it down for another child without his say so. I have a wide range of toys in my playroom so there is plenty to do.

Unfortunately with Lego it's expensive you don't to risk your ds's stuff being lost or broken but at the same time it's an expensive item to buy for communal use amongst your mindees.

Ebay Lego is extremely cheap, and you get the proper Lego that's mostly blocks and therefore far more creative than the single-use model type Lego.

My DC rooms are out of bounds. My eldest can bring toys down to share if he wishes. Their special toys and books are kept seperate to all the other toys. I would be forever on the stairs if the older ones all had free run, keeping an eye on them and trying to keep stair gate closed with the little ones around. Upstairs is for sleeping only.

My DMum is a CM and none of her mindees were allowed upstairs at all. Her insurance only covered the ground floor.

If we brought any toys downstairs into the CMing area, they were to share and play with together.

Anything we didn;t want played with stayed in our rooms.

DSis and I werent even allowed into each others rooms without being invited.

Why not ask the mindee if he wants to bring some of his toys with him seeing as yours are so apparently boring?

I don't child mind anymore but when I did my son's and 2 stepson's toys were stored upstairs Monday to Friday. Mindees were not allowed upstairs. (I had a downstairs bathroom so no reason for them to go up).

If my dcs wanted to bring a toy down they did so whilst accepting it would have to be shared and they wisely kept any fragile toys or toys with small bits in their rooms at all times.

I instigated this policy after 3 of ds's brand new birthday toys got broken in the space of a week. It worked well. I had tonnes of sharing toys downstairs, and if a mindee had a particular interest I would keep an eye out at carboot sales, charity shops, etc.

I don't know which is worse: the toddler's tantrums or the child who claims he's "bored"! I know which is the most tedious to deal with.

I'm in agreement with the others: no minded child enters any bedroom without my permission and the agreement of the bedroom's owner. I have a 12 year old and unfortunately the time is almost here when I will have to safeguard him from potential allegations.

If one of my children has invited a minded child into their room, I switch on the baby monitor so I can hear what's going on.
Soon, though, I'm going to have to stop DS having any minded child in his room for his own protection.

satire does he like puzzles or quiz books? Not dealt with 9 yr old boys before but my nearly 7 yr gets bored of Lego after a while and enjoys a challenge and keeps him quiet for an hour.

Hes quite a, can't think of the right word, but he is often using words he doesn't know the menaing of, moans and tries to correct me by telling me that what I'm saying is worng, tells his younger brother that he's thick/stupid/senile/imbecile etc. He maons about being bored constantly. If I am sitting playing dinosaurs with the younger ones and he doesn't want to join in he will go on and on and on and on. (he wears me down TBH).

If it's something he wants to do then everything is hunkydory. if it's not we all suffer

I ahve board games (which he says he is great at), card games (ditto) and lots of other things that appeal to all ages.

My kids bedrooms are not registered for mindees or covered by my insurance-and I wouldn't let them in there even if they were.My own children keep the toys in there that they don't want the others to play with.I never let the minded children play with my childrens toys if theyre not there-if they choose to share them when they are there then thats up to them.

I don't let mindees in my childrens' rooms with or without my children. For a start I can't supervise them there. For another my children are entitled to have somewhere quiet and private to retreat to if the minded children get too much, and somewhere to keep things they value and don't want to share. But most importantly it protects my own children from any false accusations. If one of the other children said one of mine did something (say hit him) I could categorically say that they were not out of my sight and that it didn't happen (unless it did of course, but at least I would know exactly what had happened) and not have to decide who to believe.

DD and mindee are the same age, only 18 months, so they do play together up there, but when DD gets to the age where she wants space, she can have it

Hmm! The boys around this age that I've looked after without exception like electronic computer bleepy-style things: computer games, that sort of thing.

Construction stuff like meccano goes down well, too, as does football and any kind of energy-burning activity.

One of our 10 year old boys likes to go to the skateboard park near us, so we all go with him. He walks several metres in front and pretends he's not with us so his street-cred remains intact
The rest of us go to the play park where I can keep an eye on him, strictly without his friends noticing.

I'm sure his mates aren't fooled for a second (I've minded a few of them, too!), but they haven't let on yet

No, my mindees are not allowed upstairs.
I personally think my own children (10 and 13) should have their own space where they can go chill, do homework without being disturbed, etc etc

The 2 boys I mind are 7 & 5,
I have Knex, Magnetix, Lego, Cars, Power Rangers figures etc etc
They will both join in when the girls (10yrs and 6 yrs) get the Shop/Cafe/BBQ out,
they also play Schools,
occasionally my 10 yr old will join in..

If you have mindees of that age that enjoy playing with lego then you should supply some. No he should not be able to play upstairs with your childrens toys but you are paid to care for this child and he should have toys that he wants to play with. Buy some which are just for the mindees and then they should be tidied away at the end of the day.

When I minded I was only insured for downstairs so all bedrooms off limits.

Saltire you have been so amazing to persist with this child as I remember you posting about him before.

So you think he would be better at an after school club? I only had littlies in my setting after trying after schoolers and I just found it to hard to cope with the age range. I know lots of great cms on here do though and cope well.

To he honest some kids are simply a pita, he sounds like one.

May grow out of it though, but if he's really getting to you then if we're me I would give notice although of course financially that's difficult.

Can you get cheap Lego?? Though suspect that whatever you provide won't be good enough as he wants to push the rules.

is the mindee one of the brothers of the dreadful family-or did you finally have enough of them saltire?

Children are not allowed in any of the upstairs bedrooms at all. If my son invites one of them to go up and play thats fine, our own children need their own space and to be able to treasure their own things.