Nanny to go or not to go?

[2plus1]

I have some slight concerns re the nanny for our triplets who are 'at home' tots. The nanny has been with us a few months and really from the outset was not fulfilling our requirements ie domestic duties poorly carried out, poor hygeine (washing up, dirty toilet, messy tables and floors) that we had one trip who was sick......, poor personal appearance with un-ironed clothes with old stains on (was asked at tots group if they were actually paid), cannot cook so I have to do all of the purees in the evening and lastly has never cleaned the trips bedroom at all. These tasks are in the contract so I feel that this has never been complied with to satisfactory standards. I was going to dismiss the nanny within the first few weeks until I got told they were pregnant prior to taking the job. So was advised I couldn't do that. I went through disciplinary procedure instead (not personal appearance though as I wimped out). allowing time to get it sorted but they have not improved to anywhere near the standard. Now on final warning so do I now dismiss without fear of tribunals for discrimination. I have a full list of issues dating from the first day of employment. Having had previous nannies this one is really not up to what we would expect at all, especially for the wages. Ofsted reg was supposed to happen but the paperwork (insurances) were not done by the nanny and now we find that quals are not suitable either.

What do we do.......? I am at the end of my tether doing all of the cleaning up and re-doing tasks after my day at work.

Are you serious?
Are you expecting a nanny of triplets to both look after 3 children, cook and clean and iron, clean toilets and mop floors?

Is this a common expectation for somebody who looks after 3 children?

I would post this in Legal - as far as I can see (and I'm really not an expert) if you have documented all the tasks and the disciplinaries carried out when she hasn't performed then I think you can dismiss her.

Is she currently on her last warning? I would also have thought that having proper insurance would be a condition of her employment.

I'm confused - the triplets are still on purees, but you have had more than one nanny before? Why did the previous ones leave?

Cleaning and clearing up after the children is part and parcel of a nanny's job - or she a nanny/cleaner? If the latter, I do think that's asking a lot of someone, if the cleaning duties are meant to be carried out whilst she has sole charge of the babies.

I know I'm out of the loop but why is her being pregnant stopping you firing her is she isn't doing the job? Also - how many nannies have you had and how long did they last/why did they leave?

Well if she has been with you less than a year she will not having any legal protection.

However, by the sounds of it, you are asking far too much of her. You will find yourself in the same mess with the next nanny. The important thing is does. she actually care for your children well? Do your triplets seem to get on with her? This is far more important than your impossible list of cleaning duties.

Ok we have had previous nannies train with us at our old location and as we moved we employed an 'experienced nanny'. The food requirement is to make basic things such as pasta, boiled veg/pots etc for finger food but this gets burnt. The cleaning is purely after the children ie if one spills food over the table or juice on the floor but not hoovering/dusting the house as I do this myself etc although the trips room is to be kept tidy. Toilet hygeine is cos I find poo in the toilet bowl when I get home that was not left by me!! The laundry is only the trips clothes/bedding which is exactly what is usually expected by an experienced nanny just like a parent would do at home. I cannot do trips clothes in just the weekend!! Ironing could be done after the trips are in bed and this is limited to just a few items unless they are not neatly folded from the dryer. The duties were fully endorsed by a nanny agency so is what would be expected.

How old are your triplets?

I'm sorry, but you sound like a bit of a nightmare.

I have two kids who are 13 months old and have sole care (DH not about). I have only RECENTLY started ironing their clothes (and that's only because they've started nursery and I don't want them to look like scruff bags at school. On home days, I don't iron their stuff)

I rely on quick food (pasta and ready made sauce for instance) at least 1, often 2, times per week

I don't think you can, seriously, say that one bout of illness when considering 3 children over the space of a few months is excessive. And you certainly can't blame her for it.

If your standards are so high, I would seriously suggest you give up whatever job is allowing you to pay for a nanny and do it yourself. You may well reconsider your job spec

13 months APART. Not 13 months OLD

Ok, fair enough. But why does her being pregnant stop you firing her?

Do you have to call them 'trips' and how many hours does she actually work???? She seems to be doing alot after the trips have gone to bed?

As I Said, I have 2 kids, and when they go to bed SO DO I!!!!

Even the cleaning duties that you think 'are to be expected' of the nanny seem a bit unreasonable. Maybe for 1 child but 3?? Why on earth do babies/toddlers need their clothing ironed??

Perhaps you need to hire a cleaner in addition to a nanny.

I love the 'I find poo that was not mine' - like... do you leave YOUR OWN poo in the toilet? I like to clean up after myself!!!!

regardless of whether anyone on here thinks it's too much work, the nanny agency obviously thoufht it was ok, and the nanny herself presumable agreed to it when she signed the contract!

if she is struggling with it now it's a reality then she would need to speak to the OP and explain what she isn't managing and why, and sort it out

it'ss no excuse for burning food and not clearing up after the children really is it?

"I would seriously suggest you give up whatever job is allowing you to pay for a nanny and do it yourself"

maybe the OP needs to work to pay her rent/mortgage??
a nanny is probably cheaper than nursery fees for 3 children

I would get rid as you're obviously not happy with her. An 'experienced' nanny should be able and organised enough to cope with triplets and, yes, I would expect them to be able to cook a decent meal and do nursery duties. I assume your house is child friendly so the triplets are safe whilst the nanny cooks? She shouldn't be burning basic food. It shouldn't take much to keep the triplets room/s clean and tidy. I'm assuming the triplets nap during the day so ironing can be done then.

Next time when you check references ask about the nannies cooking skills, organisational skills and personal appearance. ( Assuming you checked references yourself and didn't rely on the agency. ) Leaving poo in the toilet is minging and, as long as you're sure it's not DH / any other visitor then I would ask her politely to clean up after herself.

I'm a nanny. I have had three sets of twins, separately. If the triplets are in a good routine, then there is no reason why she cannot do nursery duties. With the twins, they would sleep for two hours after lunch, I would spend an hour tidying up and having lunch and a well earned break and then an hour batch cooking for the freezer or ironing. Twice a week, usually Monday and Thursday, I would do nothing for those two hours!

I have had four under 23 months (nanny share) and did all nursery duties. It is part and parcel of our job! It sounds as though she is not fulfilling the contract, you have gone through the disciple procedure, verbal warning, written warning so I think you are within your rights to terminate the contract. She has breached it by not conforming to it.

If she were struggling to fit everything in then she should have spoken to you to see if there is anything you could agree to make her life a bit easier.

I'd love to look after triplets!

I would like to clarify I do not leave the toilet dirty after I go, same as I expect it to be clean when others use it! The ironing is only a few garments that look screwed up if not ironed ie dresses. I have always said (and do myself) that if the clothes are folded when taken out of the dryer then they don't need ironing, however if when they are put away they are still inside out, folded poorly then this won't do (as stated prior to job offer). Our student nannies were expected to do ironing that I had to find some for them to do!! Surely, tidying/cleaning up after the children is not unreasonable as you would not like to come home to mashed food dry-welded onto your table, floor etc. I really don't know why I am being shot down in flames for a job description that is the norm. I do not expect the house to be cleaned at all and just cleaning up their mess.

thisisyesterday - we have asked if the role is too much or if there is a reason why things are not done and apparently there isn't according to her. I guess the standards she feels is ok is lower than what we expect (pos appearance is an example). Although it is their workplace, it is our home. Thank you for your constructive comments.

Well Im going to stick up for the OP. I'm now a childminder, but have been a nanny before, with over 15 years childcare experience.

I dont think that its unreasonable to ask the nanny to do those tasks, the only thing that would be tricky would be the cooking, but it in reality it doesn't take long to steam some veg, cook pasta and knock up a cheese sauce....the other tasks of clearing up after meals, well that is good hygiene practice isn't it?

Not sure you can complain about stained clothes and unkempt appearance, I was always clean and tidy for work, but looked an utter mess by the end of the day.

And before anyone asks, my first nanny job was 8 week old, sole charge, 60 hours a week triplets ......

I don't think you are asking too much. I could cope with it, though obviously it takes a few weeks to find a routine that works. It sounds like she does childcare, children's laundry and ironing, linens and room. Provide fresh meals and clean up after the kids. Nothing out of the ordinary, and you don't take on a job with small triplets thinking it'll be easy!

She isn't doing her job. You have given her a warning. As far as I know you can still fire someone for not performing their duties whilst pg unless it is the pregnancy itself that is hindering them.
I think you may need to give a written warning now, but its best you check on the legal board or with cab.

Thank you Ebb and Callaird for your experiences. I haven't employed an experienced nanny before so checking before I have to let her go. Obviously, it is a sensitive area with her circumstances. I could have done this a few months ago but got told news just before I was about to dismiss. So now have gone through disciplinary to give an opportunity to improve which is above what I need to do for just 5 months employment.

Just to add though- I don't look terribly smart when I'm at work. I don't have the money to keep replacing clothes that become tired looking because I'm crawling on the ground, or that are stained because I've been rolling in the grass or have food colouring on them etc. I also don't iron.
I come to work shOwered, hair up and in fresh clothes each day, but that's as classyas i get :)

I'm going to stick up a bit for the op too... our nanny brings her own dd with her to work (she's the same age as my dd, they're both 2.6) and she has my ds to look after as well (he's 4). Admittedly they're not babies in quite the same way (though I'm not sure how old the OPs triplets are) but toddlers are I think worse at getting in to trouble.

Now my nanny is by no means an absolute star when it comes to tidying up, but she does clean up after the children's tea, either washes up all their plates or puts them in the dishwasher. She cooks pretty well (I do leave loads of things like pasta sauces in the freezer which she uses, but she also cooks home made pizzas, risottos, soups etc) and doesn't burn anything. Her personal appearance is immaculate, better than me most days :o

I do also have a cleaner once a week so I don't expect her to do much beyond a general tidying at the end of the day and sweep the kitchen floor. Dh does all the laundry anyway so it's not an issue, but our nanny could certainly manage it in her time, and if I do have some washing on when she gets in then she happily hangs it out and then gets it back in again for me.

OP I do think if she's struggling with doing everything you ask, you need to have another chat with her. Find out if she's struggling to do it all, or if she's just avoiding it. I must admit my first instinct when it comes to childcare is that I'd prefer a childcare provider to be caring for my children rather than doing housework, which is why we have a cleaner. I would much rather our nanny is taking my children to the park or doing some crafty actitivies than ironing a stack of clothes.

Firstly you have many avenues for getting rid without problems as long as its documented. And you have many reasons.

I'd be furious about the attitude. If she wasn't coping and admitted it that would be different but it seems she doesn't care. I'd also be pretty mad about her working without insurance.

The qualifications however I'd take up with the agency. They should have informed you of that. Can you go to them for advice?

Maybe you are unclear in you interactions with her. I've not attacked you but I have asked a specific question twice which you can not or will not answer. It's looking a possibility that you are the problem.