Nanny to go or not to go?

[2plus1]

I have some slight concerns re the nanny for our triplets who are 'at home' tots. The nanny has been with us a few months and really from the outset was not fulfilling our requirements ie domestic duties poorly carried out, poor hygeine (washing up, dirty toilet, messy tables and floors) that we had one trip who was sick......, poor personal appearance with un-ironed clothes with old stains on (was asked at tots group if they were actually paid), cannot cook so I have to do all of the purees in the evening and lastly has never cleaned the trips bedroom at all. These tasks are in the contract so I feel that this has never been complied with to satisfactory standards. I was going to dismiss the nanny within the first few weeks until I got told they were pregnant prior to taking the job. So was advised I couldn't do that. I went through disciplinary procedure instead (not personal appearance though as I wimped out). allowing time to get it sorted but they have not improved to anywhere near the standard. Now on final warning so do I now dismiss without fear of tribunals for discrimination. I have a full list of issues dating from the first day of employment. Having had previous nannies this one is really not up to what we would expect at all, especially for the wages. Ofsted reg was supposed to happen but the paperwork (insurances) were not done by the nanny and now we find that quals are not suitable either.

What do we do.......? I am at the end of my tether doing all of the cleaning up and re-doing tasks after my day at work.

I'm not questioning the right of the OP to get rid of the nanny if she is not doing what was agreed (and while it's possibly not politically correct, I'd be furious if she didn't mention the PG at the interview but then claimed it was a reason she couldn't look after triplets)

I just think the OP has overly high standards. And refering to your children as trips annoys me.

Sounds like a few of you are or have had some fab nannies. I hoped going through an agency would give us that but alas no! I queried the quals with the agency and was told they would be fine, but they are not. The agency have been no help at all just refering to ACAS so no support as they imply. So the agency is someway responsible for finding the candidate as suitable for our needs. That said, I am left to manage the situation as it is now. I don't think she is coping but is keen to stay working for MA payments. The final warning has been issued already so there is a paper trail but I need to make a descision shortly. BTW, one of the three doesn't 'gel' that well compared to the other two but not sure if I can interpret that!!

2plus1 - I'm not asking you to 'out' the agency you used, but we use one for tutors (I HE my son) and they offer a no quibble alternative if you are not happy with the tutor (but they supply all staff, from housekeepers to drivers) within a certain time (I think it's 6 months).

They also stay in constant touch with both the client and the placement to make sure everyone is happy with what's happening.

I'm happy to PM the details if you would like?

Sorry for being arsy. Trying to get DS into school at the moment and it's proving testing (that's the polite word). I'm on a short fuse.

We're in London.

as ebb and callaird have both said, an experienced nanny should be able to fulfil basic nursery duties such as cooking, cleaning bedrooms, washing and keeping areas tidy

i hate ironing, tho will do it if have to, but generally the cleaners do it in my jobs :)

and she obv thought she could or she wouldnt have said yes to the job,but she isnt doing it properly and therefore if you have warned her/ sat down and talked about her role etc and hasnt improved then i think you have the right to give her notice

i have skimmed read, so sorry if you have said this, but how old are your triplets? if pureed food, assume 6-12mths - was wondering if you had any other children or why did you have a good nanny before her

Could she not argue that the pasta got burnt/laundry wasn't taken out of tumble drier because she was paying attention to the triplets?

Did she not use a timer when cooking? This could have solved one issue.

Re: The pureeing. One suggestion would have been for maybe you/DH to peel fruit/veg & she could do the rest while triplets are sleeping? I appreciate it's not ideal but it would have meant (hopefully) that at least it got done.

The agency I'm afraid would promote your job description & needs to her & they would have told her that your job spec is standard. You & the nanny are their form of income.

If I had to look after three babies at the same time, they'd be lucky if they were fed. Perhaps that's why I am not a nanny?

If I was mum to triplets (and survived the pregnancy) I would probably not require my nanny to purée the fruit/veg.

I am a bit of a nutrition freak, but life is too short to spend it all in the kitchen. You can get this stuff at Tesco. Ella has a lovely kitchen.

right
you have never employed a nanny before
but
had college kids come to you as a placement?
while you were there I take it ?

How many nannies did you interview ?
and why did you chose this one?
Did you have trial period ?
and why did not get rid after that ended?

do you children all nap at same time?

Do mind someone ironing while children are crawling around?

RE her clothes she pg and works in long hours job where is she going to get the time to get new clothes.

Do you really think that you can "order" a suitable nanny from an agency in the same way as you order groceries?

We have three little ones. I always say 'no ironing'. I don't buy anything that needs ironing. I'd always rather that our nanny pays attention to the children, rather than gets bogged down in things like ironing. And I like our nannies to take breaks while the kids are sleeping as it's totally exhausting paying attention to that many people during the working day. We have a cleaner to ensure that things stay reasonable and we don't ask our nannies to clean bedrooms or bathrooms. Just tidying/mopping up spills.

We do always ask our nannies to keep the kitchen pretty clean as they go. We use washable flannels (£2 for 10 from IKEA) for wiping up after meals and they're pretty robust, so it's child-table-highchair-floor in that order - all with one flannel, which then goes into a hot wash. Takes about a minute per child.

Having said the above, I would not like someone to start their working day in dirty clothes and I always notice and don't like it if someone does not wash their hands regularly or is not totally 'there' with hygiene. Not being able to cook at all is ridiculous and annoying.

The agency's T&C will absolve them from any responsibility regarding the nanny's suitability - this is always down to you. All they do is facilitate the introduction.

You may well have left it a bit late for the firing, in my view. If she was preggers when she started and has been with you for 5 months, she's not going to get another job now and therefore has nothing to lose by making things difficult if you fire her. So do be very careful.

Don't forget that your nanny is your employee and you do have a duty to be respectful and straight with her, even when she's really annoying you and not performing well in your view.

PS - no-one's cutting you any slack for the fact that you have triplets, which must be exhausting - physically and mentally, regardless of how much help you have. I do hope it all gets sorted for you.

if shes not doing the job that is outlined in her contract then ofcourse you can dismiss her!

op didnt come here for parenting tips, she asked for advice on nannys.

Who is your payroll agency? Don't they give free legal advice on this stuff?

Fwiw, my gut feel is that you are being reasonable in your requirements. Except possibly the ironing - imo, if you wash and dry cunningly you can get away with very few creases and need very little ironing, and I'd rather a nanny spent time with the kids than the iron. But cooking meals and making sure the kids have clean clothes and a reasonably tidy room (bearing in mind they are still pretty small so they aren't mess-generating engines like preschoolers are, the mess is more likely made by her than them) and maintaining basic levels of hygiene in the house - that's bare necessities. But if you want to be sure, give her a week's holiday and do it yourself. If you can do it to your standard easily enough, then it's reasonable.

We had a similar problem with a Mother's Help, went through disciplinary and actually she improved hugely and turned out to be a real asset. So the fact you've been through the process with this one and no real change to me says her heart isn't in the game and hasn't been from day one and she's only with you to mark time and draw a salary till her own baby is born. How long has she got to go now, if she was pg on arrival and is at the arse-end of disciplinary proceedings now? Bear in mind that if you dismiss her, you will have to pay her notice period anyway, unless you can prove gross misconduct, which you can't. So if she's on 1m notice, if you dismiss her today she'll be with you (or you'll be paying for her) for a month from now.

You are absolutely within your rights not to take her back with a baby - it changes the nature of the job she does for you and very very few nannies will have a baby of their own and leave them with a minder to return to work after their mat leave. So you are probably shot of her once she starts her mat leave. If you're worried about the risks around dismissing her, then maybe you can do a deal where you fail to dismiss her, but she starts her mat leave as early as possible.

PS. Hello Booh!

I had a terrible nanny job involving twins, a toddler and a very demanding set of parents. However, the main problem there was that the duties required of me before I arrived seemed to treble overnight. It was my first nanny job - talk about being thrown in at the deep end! The parents had had three nannies prior to me getting there and the babies were only six months old. I was told the hours would be 8 - 6 and would involve childcare (including cleaning up after the children/doing their laundry etc.) but when I got there I was made to cook a lot of the meals for the parents, do their washing and clean other rooms in the house. I was also working from 6am until 9pm. My issue was that none of that had been in a contract.

I don't think you're asking too much OP but I do get the feeling that you've just spent the last while getting more and more frustrated with everything this nanny is doing incorrectly. Perhaps in the future you'll need to be a lot more careful when selecting a nanny.

Oh and regarding the clothing issue - when I was at home with the babies I was always covered in some sort of puke, banana, milk or yoghurt so my clothes never looked great, I don't think it's fair to expect that she dresses immaculately but I guess if someone can't take at least a little pride in themselves, they're not going to take great care of your house either.

I have looked after numerous set of twins (with older siblings) and a few sets of triplets. I think what you are asking is completely normal and if she is as useless as you say you need to bite the bullet and get rid of her!

Although I do stick up for the nanny on one point: clothes. I do NOT dress up or where any good clothes for work. They get completely ruined! I don't want to be constantly thinking "I can't get down and play with you I will dirty my clothes" I just get down! I am constantly getting poo/wee, snot, sneezed on food smeared on me it's part of the job.

OP - if you aren't happy with the nanny and don't think you will be, you should put her on notice and find someone else. I know it's daunting, but you will find someone. If you are within the first year of her contract, you can do this without a reason.

Did you get a nanny with lots of experience with more than 1 child/twins (I assume triplets are a rarity)? You might find that next time you need to hire someone with more experience who will know what is expected from the job.

If you do plan to keep the nanny and even for a subsequent nanny, you need to think about what the priorities are in terms of day to day job spec (just like you'd review time management at work). Would you prefer clean floors and surfaces but toys out? Is cooking more important than ironing? Maybe you could put together a schedule based on the triplets' routine and how you normally get things done around this during the days when you are home. A nanny handbook and a detailed job spec are also very useful for potential nannies to understand exactly what is expected to avoid misunderstandings. What could also be useful is to hire either a mother's help or cleaner for an hour or so each day to make things spick and span before you get home. I am sure you'd value this when you're on mat leave again.

As someone else asked, how many applicants did you see? It's important to see a good range. Did you advertise yourself or did you use e.g. Gumtree or both? I'd highly recommend advertising yourself and screening candidates yourself (you should mostly be able to do this by reading CVs or emails and by a quick telephone call to e.g. see if foreign applicants have good English and only take applicants currently based in the UK who you can meet face to face so they can see your home and get an idea of what is expected). I know a lot of people who haven't had any better applicants via agencies than they did by doing it themselves. It's a lot of money to pay someone to screen candidates which could be better spent e.g. offering a larger salary.