Mindee eats me out of house and home

[msrantsalot]

I've got a young lad, age 9 for after school and school holidays. I told mum he will get snack after school and she is to provide lunch for full days. This is included in price, I charge £3.50 per hour. He is very active and always asking for food. My idea of a snack is toast and an apple. He is constantly asking for sandwiches, biscuits, wraps...anything going really. Basically I end up feeding him a lot more than I expected. He's healthy, just a growing boy with a huge appetite. If I leave out fruit he will easily eat 5 or 6 apples...

WWYD?

Discuss it with his mother - just be straightforward and mention that he seems to be starving after school and maybe needs an extra sandwich for lunch.

My 12 yo son can put lots of food away but he's not as hungry if he has something higher in protein and fat - if the boy isn't having weight issues then maybe talk to his mum about peanut butter, beans, egg or cheese on the toast, or some fish sticks. I know it costs a bit more but it might save your apples and it's what his body needs if he is anything like my son.

Would she pay a bit more to cover something more substantial? I pay £15 for afterschool including a meal. With my old CM this was a full cooked dinner (roast or spag bol or similar) plus a pudding. With new CM it's more like a sandwich and an ice pop and it's really not enough. He always comes home hungry. Some kids, esp boys, really do need to scoff a lot after a busy day.

I wouldn't mind giving him dinner it would be cheaper! But he always refuses, then asks if I have any biscuits or crisps. I've started saying no because if he knows there are some biscuits he will keep on asking for more. He wont eat beans or fish fingers or eggs. He wants cheese and ham toasties and wraps. I know it sounds mean but I just put one slice of cheese and one slice of ham because he will always ask for another one regardless. Also he does stay later than my other afterschoolers so he would be hungry, but when I make dinner for my lot he always tells me he doesn't want it (unless its chicken nuggets) then asks me for another sandwich.. I don't know what he gets for lunch but suspect it may be a school dinner. I will find out if he likes peanut butter tho, I don't want to ask mum for more as I know she struggles as it is.

Dont let him have crisps and biscuits. Can you make his sandwich a double? Use wholegrain as it is more filling. A toast and an apple would not fill mine up after a long day in school. Try a double sandwich, and apple an a yoghurt, and tell him this should suffice.

But for £3.50 an hour I can see why he is literally eating his way through your profits.

Definitely find out what he's having for lunch. Sounds like he could do with more. Can you get some value cereal and he can have ONE toastie and then cereal if he's still hungry?

You are allowed to say no to crisps and biscuits, if he won't eat what is offered (provided what is offered is reasonable) then he can go without. It sounds like he is playing you.

All my mindees are like that.. asking for food all the time when they get in from school..
I find it quite rude actually.. especially after what theyve eaten what Ive said below..
My mindees get a choice or either one of the following, toast, crumpets or muffins and fruit (2 peices) and a yoghurt if still hungry..

They all leave bettween 5.15 and 5.45, I personally think thats enough to keep them going.. till tea time.

Like what Zuleika said

Or prehaps mum would send in some sort of packed tea!
Baked beans or similar to heat up??

And lets not forget they all have different appetites, I know my own 10 yr old will not eat all his tea if he was to have a sandwich after school.
whereas my 13 yr old would eat a sandwiches and a packet of crisps, fruit and then an adult sized meal!!

I would increase your hourly rate. You are running a business (this might sound ruthless). Also, if I was the mum, I Wouk rather pay a little more than see this type of struggle and learn that child is not getting enough of what he MAY need.

Would. iPhone typos!! Apologies.

Have you discussed this with the parents? To me, diet is an important issue affecting the child's general health and wellbeing, and I would be mortified if my CM was consulting an internet discussion board without discussing it with me first.

You mention that he gets picked up later, and that his mum is struggling - do you think he's getting a meal at home in the evening? If he knows he won't get anything when he goes home then it might explain his food-craving at yours.

I would ask for the parent's support in getting him to eat an actual meal, that means a snack when they get in from school, then they wait until dinner. He's not going to want tea if he's eaten a load of big snacks is he.

Another option is to bring this up when you do a contract review and offer mum the option of a slightly higher hourly fee to cover food costs, or she brings him an after school pack up (she can choose which option she would prefer).

Of course if you're feeding him you can offset it against tax.

A lot of Childmiunders work alone tho Novstar, unlike alot of other workplaces, we dont have someone else to bounce ideas back and forth too, so many use a forum like this, to see if we're being AIBU or not, and of course to give/get advice..

Sorry for typos not used to typing on my phone

sounds to me he is playing you - he will eat crisps and biscuits but says no to a meal

talk to mum, maybe she can provide extra snacks

DD is starving after school if she has school dinners. She gets a snack at afterschool club, which seems more substanitial than your proposed 'toast and an apple' something like sandwichs, salad and yoghurt or crackers, cheese, salad, fruit and yoghurt.

Novstar, I often like to discuss different options regarding a client's care with my colleagues and would sometimes prefer to know if what I'm thinking is logical and reasonable in my colleagues' minds as well as my own before before going ahead with a plan for a patient that might well backfire! I am not a CM but in the OP's situation, I think I would probably discuss what is normal and reasonable with colleagues before discussing it with parents in case my view was not reasonable, and parents ended up thinking I was a cow!

FWIW, my ds4 gets breakfast at home every morning. He still goes into nursery and does the Oliver Twist on his favourite minder in nursery and tells her "I didn't get no brekkie" in a sad voice and with big doe eyes. And she, softie that she is, gets him another breakfast!

Tbf for what you are being paid, it sounds to me like he's eating far too much and the parents can't expect you to keep feeding him at that rate at that price! I would suggest that you discuss upping the price with the parents and giving him a dinner and that he is expected to eat what is put in front of him.

I agree with previous posters. You are under no obligation to offer this child an unending selection of his favourite snacks.

Offer him a reasonable snack when he comes in from school. Then if he is still hungry, wholemeal toast or a high fibre cereal will fill him up nicely. If he doesn't want it then he's not hungry.

If he keeps asking for biscuits and crisps tell him to ask his mum for those when he gets home.

This is not being cruel. It is being sensible and businesslike and encouraging healthy eating.

I have a healthy eating policy (no crap) so they can ask all they want it's not here. All meals ate included and I make them all a hot meal if they are going earlier they either have fruit or I do meal earlier.

You need to discuss this with his mum, and give her a number of options to choose from but make it clear she needs to do something. You're running a business after all. Tell her what the included snack is and that it clearly isn't enough for him, and say that she can either send him with extra snacks or a "packed tea" (if he wants sandwiches all the time this might be best), or pay for a meal but if she chooses this option she needs to make it clear to her son that if he doesn't eat eat there is nothing else on offer. A 9yo really should be able to understand this!

A lot of kids will whine for crisps or biscuits if they know they're available, maybe it's time to make it clear that you are no longer buying either. As Timandra says, tell him that he can ask his mum when he gets home.

Yes, I don't have crisps in the house and if there are biscuits they're reasonably healthy ones that I've made with the children. Easier if the junk isn't there at all.

We are supposed to be promoting healthy eating just tell her you are no longer allowed to offer junk food

Offer him carrots.