Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Some advice please (freinds on facebook)

29 replies

MUM2BLESS · 23/05/2012 14:04

Good afternoon

I know some cm's don't have parents as friends on facebook, visa versa

Do you have other cms as friends on facebook. Got a request but I do not want to mix my private life and my work life. Nothing wrong with the people requesting but dont want to mix the two.

Has anyone got a facebook set up for parents and other cms?

If I refuse the request will they know I have?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Oohlordylordy · 23/05/2012 14:45

I am 'friends' with my nanny on FB.

If you aren't comfortable with it, just ignore the request (Do not decline) and let it go.

Tho, I would wonder why you aren't that comfortable with it. My nanny looks after my children. I expect her to know about my life and I expect to know about hers. I don't EVER question what she does in her personal life, but I do like the fact that I know about her family, friends, fiance (who has stayed over with my children).

So, I would say: Unless you have a major reason to object, I would accept it.

Facebook friends aren't 'real' friends. It's just social networking.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/05/2012 15:46

many of my 'nanny' friends are my rw friends so yes they are on my fb

never ever ever ever ever have boss's on my fb - ex ones yes as good way to keep in contact but not ones at the time

looneytune · 23/05/2012 17:06

I'm a CM and 4 of my current FB friends are parents, at least 4 past parents are and yes, I have some other childminders as friends on there too. I know some of my newer mindees parents are on FB and I wouldn't send them a request and I may have to think about accepting one if I got them, however, the ones I'm 'friends' with are those whose children I've looked after for years. I socialise with some of the parents (meals out, drinks etc.) on occasions and I feel we are proper friends now so don't see the problem. They know I have a personal life and know that business is also business. All fine by me :)

nannyof3 · 23/05/2012 17:09

To blondeshavemorefun

Why would you never ever ever ever ever have your boss on ur fb?

Are u hiding something? Or do u slate them..

Mmmmm

Oohlordylordy · 23/05/2012 17:24

To Blondeshavemorefun - I am sorry to say, I am / would be thinking something very similar to Nannyof3.

If a nanny / CM refused to be a friend of FB, it would make me wonder.

thebody · 23/05/2012 17:26

I don't Facebook for current parents as could blur boundaries but as closing setting now am adding them like mad.

I expect blonds feels the same and perhaps wants a private life??

U suspicious nannyof3 ha ha

thebody · 23/05/2012 17:27

So not allowed a personal life separate to work life??

nannynicnic · 23/05/2012 17:28

I have to agree with blondeshavemore fun. I would not have had my previous employer as a fb friend, and she felt the same whilst I was employed by her. My private life is private, and if i'd had a bad day at work, and wanted to have a rant on fb i wouldn't have been able to. She is now a friend on facebook, as I left and we still stay in touch... speaking at least once a week!

Ebb · 23/05/2012 17:33

I would never have current employers as friends on Facebook. Not because I'm hiding anything or slating them but because I like my privacy. My private life is exactly that - private. If an employer asks what I got up to at a weekend, then of course I'd tell them but I don't think an employer needs access to a nannies/childminders life 24/7. Tbh it's bad enough having my Mother on FB let alone an employer. At work I am proffessional, responsible, a paragon of virtue, I don't swear, tell rude jokes or dress inappropriately. I don't really swear or post anything on FB that I wouldn't want employers seeing but I reserve my right to make the choice of who I accept as friends and crossing that employer/friend boundary can make things awkward.

confusedpixie · 23/05/2012 17:41

You could have them on there and have them on limited settings if you want to use it to communicarte with local cms. otherwise don't bother.

I wouldn't have my current bosses on mine (nanny). I don't think they'd want me on theirs either! I would accept an add from them after I left and wanted to stay in touch though.

confusedpixie · 23/05/2012 17:45

Saying that, they can always see my twitter, which reposts all of my fb statuses anyway. And my blog, which is linked to my twitter.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/05/2012 18:27

excalty thebody - i add after i have finished working for them

i dont have current boss's on there as i feel it isnt professional to mix work and pleasure and there need to be boundaries

plus sure there are things that maybe my employers want to keep private about them - they might even want to blast off about me to their friends lol

i dont believe in limited profiles, you either want someone on fb as you know/like them or you dont

those who know me on here and are on my fb know that i have never slated my boss's as i have always worked for nice ones, so no need to slate

nannyof3 · 23/05/2012 19:13

Depends what you do in ur 'private ' life... I wouldnt have any info / photos on fb that wud be unsuitable...... Wow, some people LOVE to put there life on fb...... Ha saddos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original poster

MUM2BLESS · 23/05/2012 19:14

Interesting. I like to think I am friendly yet professional in my job as a childminder. I still prefer to keep the two seperate.

I do not use facebook to discuss any personal stuff to do with cm'ding.

Is there a difference between the life of a nanny and that of a childminder? One being a nanny deals with one family, a cm with more. Both of course play an important and responsible role.

OP posts:

MNP · 23/05/2012 19:17

I have friends under one name and work clients under my real name so I can chat with my friends without mine and there responses being open to misinterpretation by families/agencies.

Original poster

MUM2BLESS · 23/05/2012 19:18

Does a live in nanny have as much privacy as a cm, living in their employers home? Not a putdown but a question?

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 23/05/2012 19:19

I wouldn't expect dd's CM to accept a fb request from me. I consider we're on friendly terms, I've been for coffee, etc at hers when she hasn't had dd but she needs a personal life without having to think she may or may not watch what she says.

I have politely turned down fb requests from patients in the past. I think its lovely that a woman whos baby I've delivered likes me enough to ask me, etc. However I have to stay professional.

Flisspaps · 23/05/2012 19:19

I've got several local CMs as FB friends, and we've got a private group set up for CM info, but I try not to put anything on FB that I'd not be happy for anyone to see. I have been friends with my customers prior to childminding for them, so that's never been an issue for me.

confusedpixie · 23/05/2012 19:28

nannyof3 you're purposely trying to make out that those who don't have bosses on fb have something to hide, what's wrong with not wanting them on there? (Not that there is anything wrong with wanting them on there either).

My two sets of current bosses obviously couldn't give a toss about not being on my fb as they have never asked me to be friends on it, my bosses in the past have obviously felt the same.

And why the 'private', personal/private life and work life should be separated surely? When do you get a break otherwise? The comment insinuating that people who want a 'private' life are saddos is a bit petty, just because you don't agree there's no need to namecall...

There are boundaries and if you treat fb as somewhere to catch up with old friends (which is the reason I personally use fb) then why would you want your bosses, who you see probably more frequently than your own family, on your facebook? Isn't fb supposed to be about staying in touch with people you don't get to see much? That's all it is to me.

Personal usage I suppose.

nannyof3 · 23/05/2012 22:15

Lol

nannyl · 23/05/2012 22:27

i too would never ever ever have my current boss as a friend in FB

and im am friends with all of my ex bosses (the ones that use facebook anyway)

I am also friends with some of my ex charges.

grabaspoon · 23/05/2012 23:54

my boss and I have people in common in facebook but I see it as a private place and respect her need to also have a private space too. She is able to find me and befriend me if she likes (it's been 3 years) but she hasn't and I haven't checked on her either.

If either of us wants to tell the other something we live in the same house we don't need to use facebook.

HSMM · 24/05/2012 07:11

I have Facebook culls. I used to be friends with lots of minders and mindees parents. Every few months I delete everyone except family and then slowly add a few people back on. I have no parents on there at the moment and one CM.

anewyear · 24/05/2012 09:36

Another here who doesnt have current parents on their Facebook.

Quote ''I consider we're on friendly terms, I've been for coffee, etc at hers when she hasn't had dd but she needs a personal life without having to think she may or may not watch what she says'' you have it in one there VivaLeBeaver

I too have nothing to be ashamed of.. and I very rarely post anything anyhow.. Just like to have a nose into other peoples lives and see whats going on...

LingDiLong · 24/05/2012 13:44

I am Facebook friends with one of my parents but she was a Facebook friend before she was a customer so it would be a bit wierd to delete her now! I have a page set up for my childminding business and one of my other parents is a 'friend' of that.

I can totally see why people would keep things seperate, lots of innocent comments or pictures could be misconstrued. For example, if I were to post that my own kids were being a pain/being badly behaved how would that reflect on me as a childminder? Some people could see that as me not being very good at my job. I also can't completely control what other friends post, what if they post something tasteless on my wall that offends a customer? I'm never likely to be posting that I'm stoned/drunk/have locked my kids in the cellar but it doesn't have to be that extreme to cause problems.

Flip

1 2