Negative childminder who treats kids badly??

[chwedl]

Hi there,

I've been having problems with my childminder that are escalating rapidly and I'd like some advice. I'm doubting sanity and wondering if I'm being too sensitive/picky?? Any advice will be gladly accepted.

problem 1. I give my childminder a packed lunch for my child and she only gives her a sandwich and banana every day. If I put anything else in (yoghurt, breadsticks, dried fruit etc) it just comes back in her bag. So from half 8 'til half 5 my DD only gets a sandwich and banana, no snacks, nothing. She gets a drink bottle from me in the morning and only half is drunk (half a toddler sized bottle is not enough for the whole day in my opinion).

Problem 2. My DD has been out of nappies for over 6 months, yet twice I've found that she puts a nappy on her for trips/daytime naps. My thinking is that she's too lazy to keep an eye on her.

Problem 3. They don't do anything other than play in the garden or in the playroom with toys. They're not given any activities, not even a pencil and paper.

Problem 4. My childminder often leaves them in the playroom alone to do her paperwork, ironing, change beds, Facebook, internet etc.

Problem 5. She is stern to the point that my daughter turns from being a confident happy girl to being withdrawn and nervous when she's around her. I've seen myself how stern she can be over little things, such as not taking coat off first time.

I've looked for childcare elsewhere in my area but childminders are like gold dust!! I have another childminder lined up for 3 months away, I don't know what to do in the meantime. My family work so they can't help much in the meantime and I can't bear the thought of my little one putting up with this woman for 3 months.

Am I being unreasonable?

Have you spoken to her about your concerns?

Does she give you any kind of note indicating daily activities?

I told her twice about putting nappies on DD and couldn't tell you now if she still does so I don't know if that's been resolved. I've brought up the food situation to the point where I think that she just tells me what I want to hear and does the opposite. I'm not the only parent to have this issue with her. And no I don't get any kind of diary indicating daily activities.

okay

have you ever been shown your DD's Learning Journal, sometimes called a Developmental File or something like a scrapbook, showing DD's achievements, and or milestones, maybe plotted against a grid?

ah, just thought of summat before I go ploughing down a wrong way street: are you in England?

I have never seen anything like this and doubt very much whether she does one to be honest.

nope I'm not!! I know that it's not a requirement to have a daily diary in Wales but is considered good practice!

no no it's just that I don't have experience of the Welsh system (CSSW?) and I didn't want to rattle off a great list of oughts and ought nots.

okay.

off to google stuff for you

Ah thanks ever so much :)

part Part 5 21.1 access to fresh drinking water for eg

wow, there are a lot of things there that aren't being carried out as they should, the problem with inspections and complaints is that she can lie her way out of all those :(

Welsh national standards

here too

On the bare bones of what you have given me, if you were in England I would say pull your child out, and report CM to Ofsted, using your OP as a starting point.

Back tomorrow, terribly tired after a long week

I am crossing fingers that Mogs will be along, she has dealings I THINK with CSSIW x

yes possibly BUT the inspectors will still investigate

Must go, am hanging x

Thanks for your help, I'll read through this, any help tomorrow would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks again :) xx

Fwiw my simple approach is to deal first with the issues which are making your DD unhappy. Such a change in behaviour is concerning, whether the CM is acting within the rules or not.
Perhaps try to isolate the issues which affect DD (though of course the whole attitude is relevant) and then also any other issues which might be upsetting her, ie beyond the CM.
Has your CM changed her behaviour recently? It is possible she is struggling with something? Overall though it sounds like you should be looking for an alternative, especially as you suggest it will take some time.
Good luck

Hi Chwedl

I'm a newly registered CSSIW childminder.

Problem 1 - is she simply not offering the food and drink to your daughter or is it being rejected?

Problem 2 - yep, sounds lazy. I'm not sure if there's anything in our standards that cover it but there's certainly a lot about working with parents and listening to them which clearly isn't happening here.

Problem 3 - as part of my registration I had to do an activity plan and write extensively about the activities I would provide so I'm sure she should be doing more than she is

Problem 4 - BIG no no. We're not supposed to leave minded children alone like that EVER. How do you know she is doing this though, surely she hasn't told you herself?!

Problem 5 - what is her behaviour management policy? She should have one and it should have been seen and approved by CSSIW. You should have seen it too.

I think I'd ask to see all her paperwork - if you haven't already. Get hold of all of her policies and also her complaints procedure. I would start formal complaints proceedings personally - there is a procedure she HAS to follow here i.e. responding in writing and within certain time frames. If you get no joy there you can take it to the CSSIW. I've found CSSIW to be very helpful and approachable, it may even be worth ringing your local office to see if they can offer you any advice.

Good luck, regardless of whether she is or isn't breaking any formal rules I wouldn't want my child with her.

based on all those problems i would not leave my child in her care

Not sure if it covers Wales, but we've found two excellent CMs on www.childcare.co.uk

It does cover Wales! Also look on your local FIS site. And on the local ads here and on netmums.

Cm here and wouldn't dream if doing what she does.

1, provide am and pm snacks, access to water all day

2 when out of nappies then out of nappies! Takes lots of changes!

3 activities every day, today made Krispy cakes, been to park, now painting,

4 daily diary with activities shown

5 never iron while mindees in house! Clean up areas children use but not whole house iucwim, I am working.

6 very rarely stern, we have fun all day

Is she registered????

Hi all, many thanks for the responses. To answer the question of how I know that she leaves them alone, I've been to pick my daughter up early, I'm talking 5 minutes early here (her back door is frosted glass so I can see) and she's in a totally different room. She tells me and other people that she irons/does the beds etc. My mum picked my daugher up last week and she was in the living room and the kids were out in the garden (the kitchen separates both). She doesn't know it but I can see her twitter page and Facebook and she's on both throughout the day.

She has been heard belittling children for crying and last week I saw her raise her voice to a child who had not taken her coat off.

After posting on here and discussing with my mum I finally plucked up the courage to phone CSSIW who told me that they aren't happy and are going to carry out a spot check.

As far as My daughter goes, I'm handing in my notice with her as of Monday. I'll take her there for the next 2 weeks, simply because I have no other choice and after that my family have rallied around to change working hours so that there's always somebody who can watch him until my new childminder gets her paperwork through.

I feel much better that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks guys and I'll kepp you all posted on the CSSIW visit xxx

Can you take emergency parental leave for a couple of weeks? Explain the situation to work and see if they will let you.

oooh I'm not sure, would I be allowed to do that? My work already knows the situation and they've been really good in letting me change my hours/days around in order for me to manage childcare arrangements until the new childminder starts. Plus there's only 2 of us that do the same job so it's not easy to leave work at short notice. Would I be greedy to ask?

No it's not greedy!

I wouldn't want my DC in the charge of someone I'd just effectively sacked, let alone one i'd complained about.

She sounds horrendous, she's definitely in the wrong job.

Oh I'm so pleased you've sorted something out - and that CSSIW took it so seriously. Definitely worth asking work if you can have some parental leave, the worst that can happen is they'll say no.

She is most certainly in the wrong job. And I'm dreading thinking of having my little girl spend another 2 weeks with her. But now I see the light at the end of the tunnel, this time last week I was facing the thought of my DD having to spend maybe another 3 months with the childminder so 2 weeks, however hard it is going to be, is much easier to live with. I'll ask my boss but I doubt he'll agree. The only way Id get it is to take it out of my holiday entitlement and all has been booked for trips away, Christmas etc. :(