Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Nannies Aibu?

31 replies

eastnorth · 26/02/2012 21:16

My nanny is starting full time this week. Do you think it would be cheeky to ask her to stay in Tuesday morning and wait for the washing machine repair man to come. I don't want to take advantage especially as it is week one. Do you think I could ask ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Gigondas · 26/02/2012 21:17

Yes - my nanny usually more than happy to help out like this if nothing else on.

BrandyAlexander · 26/02/2012 21:19

I would be surprised if it was a problem. Certainly my nanny would happily wait in.

HolyNoSheDittantBatman · 26/02/2012 21:30

Completely fine

Original poster

eastnorth · 26/02/2012 21:30

Thanks will ask her.

OP posts:

McPhee · 26/02/2012 21:33

I quite often wait in for things for my boss. It's certainly not a problem for me as long as the children don't miss out on anything we had planned.

Original poster

eastnorth · 26/02/2012 21:45

Well the thing is he does have a swimming lesson but the washing machine is more important or I will need to wait untill Friday

OP posts:

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 26/02/2012 21:47

your call. you are the boss now, so you dictate.

nannyl · 26/02/2012 21:59

yes

that is one of the "normal" perks of having a nanny (so long as there are no really important plans to cancel)

Original poster

eastnorth · 26/02/2012 22:05

Nonomydoit, I don't want to piss my nanny off by dictating what she can do, I want to keep her happy thanks.

OP posts:

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 26/02/2012 22:11

eastnorth - i understand. but you ARE the boss. and as the boss, you can and should tell her what you want her to do. i can't see why she would have a problem staying in for a washing machine repair man to arrive - if that is what you would normally do. it's not like you are asking her to run a hugely inconvenient errand for her. and it's not like it is asking her to stay late or arrive early. i can't really see what the problem is. she is paid to look after you child (which she will be doing) in your own home (which is where she will be). the fact your child will miss its swimming lesson this week is no big deal - since presumably that is the call you would have made if you had been a SAHM looking after your child.

Original poster

eastnorth · 26/02/2012 22:41

I know I have been using a childminder and cannot get over that there are so many advantages having a nanny. I suppose when they go to a childminder you fit in with them. Also have read on here sometimes nannies seem a bit touchy and I so want this to work.

OP posts:

giraffesCantDonateBoneMarrow · 26/02/2012 22:49

say it to her nicely, and say thanks.

Yes its a bit annoying but its better than waiting until fri, plus if like me she does kids washing then she will want it fixed asap too or have a big backlog

Original poster

eastnorth · 26/02/2012 22:53

Will I will not dictate that she does it I will ask her, I suppose she can only say no.

OP posts:

south345 · 27/02/2012 06:24

East you sound like you're going to be a lovely boss

Fraktal · 27/02/2012 09:11

east YANBU at all. If you insisted or dictated or commanded then you would but yes, it's pants timing it being her first week and DS's swim lesson but it is a recognised 'perk' of having a nanny!

MrsWobble · 27/02/2012 09:17

Hi eastnorth, the only other thing i would mention is make sure you are clear in your communication with your nanny. when i had my first nanny i was worried about seeming to be telling her how to do her job and as a result we had a few miscommunications - i thought i had asked her to do something and she thought i had suggested she might consider doing something - which to be fair to her was probably the way i had asked. as a consequence things i thought i had asked for, and expected to be done, weren't. it was absolutely my fault for not being clear and once i worked that out everything was fine.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/02/2012 10:34

perfectly normal to ask and sure nanny wont mind-but tell her now rather then spring it on her on the day iyswim

also if you do ever need stuff say delivering etc then maybe ask the nanny to pick a day that suits her

Ihatepeas · 27/02/2012 11:45

As a nanny I think you sound like a lovely boss! Just ask your nanny im sure I'll be fine! A thank you goes a long way!

NiftyNanny · 27/02/2012 20:04

I wouldn't think that was unreasonable at all - as someone else said, it's the call you would make if you were staying at home, it makes everyone's life easier & it's the kind of little thing that nannies are really handy for and happy to do! I drop off & pick up dry cleaning, stay in for deliveries, grab items from the supermarket on the way home from school - most of us are happy to pitch in & keep everything running smoothly. Makes everyone happier :)

bbcessex · 27/02/2012 20:42

I would certainly be a bit more aware of who's the boss if I were you... I suppose she can only say no rings a few alarm bells.. and what if she does? Will you stay home from work to let the machine man in?

I'd try and be a bit more in control. It's certainly fine to dictate things within reason - and this is certainly within reason. To be honest - the more slack you give in the early days, the more it can come back and bite you on the bum (in my experience, anyway!).

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 27/02/2012 20:56

totally agree bbcessex. of course, there are ways of 'telling' nicely, but if you want her to do something in particular which is within the scope of her job, then you tell her that you would like her to do it. i wouldn't ask her in this instance. she's paid by you to work for you. give her a bit of warning just in case there are other things she REALLY needs to do that day (although hard to imagine what they might be in the first week of a new job). it's not as if she will have settled into a routine and arranged a playdate with another friend after swimming or anything.

i do read some stories on here of things nannies get up to and wonder how people get into these situations, and i think it may perhaps be because the parents are too frightened to lay down the law in case they piss the nanny off. it's a hard one to call because obviously you want the nanny to want to come to work and to enjoy working for you, so that there is continuity for your child. but tyou are their employer, and they need to be able to respect you as such - which means that you have to be able to ask them to do things and expect that they will do them. if you are scared to ask, then something is wrong somewhere...

Original poster

eastnorth · 27/02/2012 21:10

Thanks for all your replies, some were a real help. I asked my nanny this morning and she was fine with it. If she had said no it would have been no big deal and I would have worked round it . I am not scared of asking but I am aware that waiting in for the washing machine man is nothing to do with looking after my son that I am paying for her. She is doing me a favour and I know that.

OP posts:

bbcessex · 28/02/2012 07:59

Well, i guess that's where we'd disagree!!! One of the benefits, in my book anyway, of having a nanny is that they can fit in and around family life.

It's not taking advantage, it's part and parcel. I've been too accomodating in the past and have had to deal with the consequences, so maybe i'm more specific now than i was before.

Anyway - you asked and she said yes, so job done!

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 28/02/2012 14:59

I agree with you bbcessex. In my book the nanny also has responsibilities in the house (although I know not all do, and some had more than I gave mine). I would not have batted an eyelid at expecting the nanny to stay in for a washing machine man but wouldn't have expected her to organise it for me. But it is all about what you feel comfortable with and also what your nanny expects.

Original poster

eastnorth · 28/02/2012 20:28

I just want my child happy, I have just swopped over from a childminder so I am already enjoying lots of advantages. I always think if you treat people nicely you get it back. I did an au pair job years ago and they treated my horrible, there is no way I would do that to a nanny. She is there to make my son happy not run the house otherwise I would have took on a housekeeper nanny.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread