Decided that an au pair is the solution to my childcare please give me the low down...

[clutteredup]

.. good bad plus minus good places to find good au pairs where not to look etc.

Does this sound OK ?
We have an old house with 2 ensuites and no 'family' bathroom - DCs guests usually use 2nd ensuite so au pair could have en suite room and we'd share our bathroom with the DC and guests - not perfect but quite manageable, DC have a separate toilet by their bedroom. Room is big enough to have bed wardrobe bedside table and shelves- can put a TV in aswell.

Have 3 DC all school age so need help first thing to do school run (walking distance) and after school till I get home. Rest of time ,weekends and school holidays I'll be at home. What else could I expect her to do - tidying hoovering DCs rooms/ toilet / washing/ ironing - or would that be extra? If one of the DCs were poorly would I be able to leave them at home with her? What's the going rate in the south west? What other costs apart from extra food?

We live in a village but walking distance to small town and good buses trains to larger towns cities nearby to go out. There are likely to be other au pairs around but not sure where to find out where they are to help with finding friends - what would you normally do?

Sorry its a lot to ask but I'm completely clueless so just need some advice from people who have au pairs to find out what it's really like. DH reckons it would be annoying having someone in the house but seeing as I need help and he's not around to help most of the time and doesn't help with that bit anyway I'm not exactly sure of the alternatives - this way I'd be able to get myself ready for work like he does without having to sort the DC out too. I'd be leaving too early for a CM and if I found one that would take them I'd have to get the DC up really early to get them to one before I left for work - DH often abroad so I couldn't get him to do the drop off.

All advice very much gratefully received - thank you.

Bump?

Thank you nappy - have you got an au pair at the moment and what is it like - what does she do etc?

Thank you -what area are you in - is £70 the going rate or does it depend on area? What agency fees do you pay?

£70 sounds OK. The bathroom situation is a bit awkward - assuming at least your youngest DC needs help at bath time, where is this going to happen? Not insurmountable, but need to be clear and set boundaries at the outset.

Facebook has many groups for au pairs - for instance this one for Bristol.

I'm not a big fan of agencies - anyone can set up an au pair agency and there is no compulsary regulation. I would look for an agency that is a member of the Recruitment and Employment Confederation (REC).

Many employers will give their AP a bus or train pass, or if too rural for that access to a car she can use by arrangement on evenings/weekends: insurance can be a big cost.

Thank you Mr Anchovy I was assuming that the DC would use our bathroom and the au pair - if bathing them - most likely not very often would bath them in our bathroom - don't see that would be a problem as DC bath at night and we bath in the morning.
Hadn't thought of facebook.

Au pair friends - Facebook is a good way of finding them. Our au pair found someone her age from the same country living a couple of roads away very quickly. The social side of things is quite important, as a lonely au pair = an unhappy one. Have a search on Facebook for your area to see what is available.

An au pair is traditionally here to get language experience so will want to go to language classes. It is worth checking what is available locally, and whether you can start at any time or only at set times during the year. Also what cost is involved.

If your au pair is attending language classes, then they probably won't be available if you child is ill.

£70 per week sounds ok, provided language course costs and associated transport is affordable.

In terms of recruiting, you can see whether Gumtree gets much interest in your area. Or there are a couple of au pair sites which you can use, and do your own checks. If you look for someone slightly older then the cost of car insurance is reduced.

how do you recruit if you don't use an agency?

Au Pair World. Others use Great Au Pairs.

I saw my au pairs police check and had a form from her gp re health (fairly standard), as well as following up all of her references (by telephone) and cv. Plus a good google and check of what was on Facebook etc. You don't need an agency for that, and I find it better to have been able to seen everything myself.

A CRB check is next to useless for somone coming from abroad: unlike in the UK, police forces in most European countries will provide a clearance letter for their citizens to potential employers: contact their embassy in the UK.

Similarly you can ask the AP to provide a medical reference from their doctor; these are compulsory for au pairs working in some European countries so are easily obtained - perhaps too easily, as there is anecdotal evidence of APs with clear medical references turning out to have chronic health issues.

When recruiting, there is IMHO nothing more important than a trial weekend: a European air fare is cheaper than an agency fee.

I second the trial weekend! I didn't and regretted it.

Because she was useless! She had kindergarden experience and good references, lied about smoking, let DS2 run out onto the road when she was standing right there and didn't see it (I had to scream from the house and she still didn't twig), never once interacted with the DSs by getting down to their level, sat there at the dinner table not interacting with anyone at all, spoke to the DSs like a bloody drill sergeant, was all 'woe is me' when the DSs didn't want to interact with her after a few days. I had to send her home after 3 weeks.

I have had lots of au pairs. I always use Gumtree to recruit. and I meet the au pairs in person before hiring them.

Mostly my experiences have been positive. There have been a couple of disasters though where either the au pair has left very quickly, or the au pair has been useless and I've had to ask her to leave. Mostly though the au pairs have stayed with us long term and we are in touch with several still (have had them for 7 years now).

I have a new one starting on Sunday.

I wouldn't let her have the bathroom to herself if I were you - It's not necessary and they don't expect it. we have 2 bathrooms and the au pair doesn't get hers to herself, although the dcs will usually use the other one.

I would put a tv and dvd player in her room and give her access to wifi. I think some people provide a laptop if the au pair doesn't have one, but all of mine have brought their own.

you may have to think about providing a travel card/pass too especially if you are rural.

also probably a good idea to write a handbook with things like duties, house rules and guidance to the local area included in it. If you search on here there are examples.

Sorry been offline for a while thanks for all the replies - any more advice from people with au pairs would be greatfully received.

Hi,

My au-pair picks up DS from school and looks after him up to 8 (I am usually home by 7 but up to 8 is acceptable), drives him to his activities, babysits up 2 evenings a week, loads, empties dishwasher, does hoovering and generally tidies up, cooks for my DS. I pay 80 but we live in central London. I used Millenium au pairs and do not regret at all. they were quick, professional and my au pair told me that she also paid agency to be on the list to make sure they will take care of her if smth goes wrong. I will use them again when she decides to leave.