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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

How would you feel about a cm if?

41 replies

littlewillows · 02/02/2012 16:40

She was also a carer to, her mum. Although she is really good cm, but has to take her mother to a day centre twice a week , now. She incorporates outings on these days and it doesn't effect sleep routines. how would you feel ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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lisad123 · 02/02/2012 16:42

I would think that maybe she is taking on too much. I don't pay cm to run her mum about, I pay her to care for my child.
I would need to know how it would be managed, how much time it would take and also what's the likelyhood of her needing help suddenly why she is caring for my kid.

NatashaBee · 02/02/2012 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebody · 02/02/2012 17:23

If she's just taking her to a day centre twice a week then I can't see you have a problem. Most cms have family comittments, I pick up my dd from classes twice a week and work round this with mindees.
Also most cms have 3 or more mindees to juggle to nursery and school so sometimes the babies have to go with this.

If u have a cm it's part of the home based experience.

If the mum is 'with it' what a lovely opportunity for your child to interact with someone of her generation.

lesstalkmoreaction · 02/02/2012 18:34

I would be open minded, I would want to visit the cm when the mother was there and also when she isn't.
Taking her mother to a day centre is no different to dropping off a toddler at nursery.
I would ask if she has an emergency plan and a back up childminder/friend that would come if someone was taken ill/emergency, but I would ask that anyway.

workshy · 02/02/2012 18:39

i think if it was a cm that I was already using and was happy with then I would leave it as her judgement call

if it was someone I was considering using then I would probably look elsewhere if I'm honest

bluerodeo · 02/02/2012 18:41

sorry i wouldn't like it. too much tooing and froing in the car.

thebody · 02/02/2012 19:45

What 2 visits to a day centre? What do u think cms or even normal parents do? do? School runs, park, soft play etc?

Too much tooing and frowning? Strange!

Heswall · 02/02/2012 19:57

I wouldn't agree to it, the CM's full attention would not be on the children

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/02/2012 22:04

i dont see the difference from taking mum to care centre or doing a school run for an older child

cm are meant to be about normal family life

Scarfmaker · 02/02/2012 22:29

Did you know the childminder was doing this for her mum before you took her on? If yes, then I can't see a problem as surely she has told you about this and any risks associated?

If this has started after the childminder has been looking after your child, then you have got to ask one question. Would you do this for your Mum and still try to earn a living by working and knowing that this is within your capabilities?

Dropping off her Mum twice a week to a day centre surely wouldn't compromise the care of your child as it's just like pick-ups/drop-offs to school really.

My Mum and my sisters have just taken the step of putting my Dad into a daycare centre for 2 days as he has Alzheimers and my Mum is also undergoing chemo so needs a break.

Luckily he is picked up by a bus and dropped off again late afternoon.

If it came to it, I would be there to take/drop him off but of course would talk to parents. I'm sure they would be sympathetic.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 02/02/2012 22:41

LittleWillows - is this a reverse thread? Are you the CM?

If I needed someone to look after my child/children and I couldn't afford a nanny, I'd choose a CM. I would want someone who would take my child/children into their lives and give them a 'second' home. As long as the CM was confident she could care for my child/children and her mother without any of them being in any danger I'd be happy. I would FAR prefer someone like this who would give my child/children a 'normal' day than someone who pandered to them all day & made sure all their Ofsted boxes were ticked... but going to get off that soapbox before I really wind myself up.

Whether you are the parent or the CM - good luck, I hope it works out for you.

thebody · 03/02/2012 09:30

With respect, some of the comments on this post are really funny. Some posters clearly have no idea what a cm does in a normal day.

TimothyClaypoleLover · 03/02/2012 09:37

If its just twice a week drop offs I don't see what the problem is. It is not different to a CM doing the school run and younger mindees tagging along. Is CM full time carer of her mum i.e. is with her all day every day plus minding children? That could possibly compromise CM. Although presumably she doesn't have full allocation of kids if looking after mum as well.

kellykateneedsaholiday · 03/02/2012 09:47

It wouldnt bother me, if I was happy with the childminder then I would trust her to do the best for all the children in her care,
I think op is the Cm, I wonder if you would include the mum on the register though for numbers. Do you think she would be classed in the over eight category numbers wise? (sorry if op isnt a CM and feels like Im not taking her seriously)

kellykateneedsaholiday · 03/02/2012 09:49

oops posted too soon. How far away is the day centre? and is she just dropping off and picking her mum up?

wannaBe · 03/02/2012 09:59

How dare the woman care for her mother and earn a living at the same time. No I think she should give up minding your pfb children and start claiming benefits instead.

Seriously what planet are some people on? The woman is a childminder. That means she minds children out of her home, you know? the place where she lives, care for her family...? Her mother being one of them in this instance...

If the cm had a disabled child for instance would people still think it ok to say that they wouldn't use her because she had to take her disabled child to school? How is that different from an elderly mother?

Really I think some people ought to get a grip.

thebody · 03/02/2012 10:13

Wannabe here here, haven't laughed so much over some of these comments for a long time.

Original poster

littlewillows · 03/02/2012 10:45

Thanks for you comments, due to them being mostly positive. I am a cm but with no children yet. I was thinking that it was taking the mick, having to drop and pick mum up from daycentre. When I look after children, I want to give a 100 percent to them. I really care and love children and have done so for over 25 years. I am rather upset and wanted to know whether I'm not allowing parents to choose me for themselves with hour and half out of the child's day.( 45min, twice a day). I'm thinking it was, just not right, I was thinking would they choose me if, I didn't charge them for that time. Children
should have fun filled days and even with this time in the car, i would do outings to toddler groups, parksetc. So many thanks again to you all, especially the body.

OP posts:

thebody · 03/02/2012 11:12

Good luck to u and hope your mum is ok. U sound a wonderful lady and the parents and children will b lucky to have you.

Ignore some of the stupid posts on here, I am
Afraid some posters just like to make others feel bad.

Sidge · 03/02/2012 11:16

I wouldn't want my children in the car for 1.5 hours of the day.

It's not the fact that you're dropping your mum off at a day centre that would bother me (it wouldn't bother me at all!) it's the time it would take to do so.

minderjinx · 03/02/2012 12:13

Hello Littlewillows. I have every sympathy for your predicament, but I would think that too long for little ones to be cooped up in the car. Is there really no alternative? I have friends who work for a company that provides escorted travel for people, not neccesarily but often elderly ones, attending hospitals, day centres, shopping trips etc all arranged through the council, social services or NHS. If you were "out" at work, something of that kind would have to be provided. Perhaps someone more knowledgeable could better advise how to go about seeking help, but that is what I would suggest.

Yeahthatsnotgonnahappen · 03/02/2012 12:39

Littlewillows I have no trouble at all with my CM doing day to day things with my ds - its one of the reasons why i choose a CM rather than a nursery. I like the fact that my CM's mom comes round a lot so that my child is part of a home routine.

But, please dont take this the wrong way, an hour an a half twice a week is too much IMO. I wouldnt be happy with my ds to be cooped up in a car all that time, especially seeing as I'm paying for this time.

HSMM · 03/02/2012 12:52

I have had parents choose to go somewhere else, because I had to go out on school runs. Some people will choose against it and some won't mind.

Original poster

littlewillows · 03/02/2012 13:01

It's only 15 mins there, drop off and then 15 mins home or on an outing. It wasn't something I was preparing to do during registration, but has now come up. Is that really to long!.

OP posts:

thebody · 03/02/2012 13:23

I have 4 school runs a day which I suppose takes up to 2 hours out of the day.
15 mins there and same back is nothing. Takes me at least that to go to
Most of the activities we do, park, soft play etc. it's fine

. Think some posters are confusing time spent daily in the car or weekly.

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