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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

How would you feel about a cm if?

41 replies

littlewillows · 02/02/2012 16:40

She was also a carer to, her mum. Although she is really good cm, but has to take her mother to a day centre twice a week , now. She incorporates outings on these days and it doesn't effect sleep routines. how would you feel ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

minderjinx · 03/02/2012 14:18

Littlewillows herself originally said it was an hour and a half a day, twice a week. Her last post suggests it would be less.

As an activity it would need to be risk assessed. Would you have to take Mum indoors? You obviously couldn't leave babies in the car, so would you be able to take them and your Mum in safely? Also if you make the argument that this is essentially no different to school or nursery runs, are you saying that you will never have school or nursery runs as well?

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 03/02/2012 20:31

15 mins there
15 mins to drop off
15 mins home

45 mins

Same to collect. 1.5 hours a day, twice a week - the OP said the same in both posts.

I really don't think parents think things though. This is no different to a school drop off or whatever.

I can understand not liking this if you have chosen a CM that doesn't do & will never do school runs, but if you didn't specify that, then there's no reason to not like it.

As for needing to Risk Assess it - FFS, what is it all coming to??? I wish you could choose between Ofsted Registered and Not Ofsted Registered Childminders and go back to the way things used to be before that paperpushing bunch got involved and people spent time actually looking after children as they would their own. FFS.

LittleWillows - you will get parents who mind & those who don't, but currently you aren't giving anyone the option I would be totally fine with it :)

bluerodeo · 06/02/2012 13:32

so if people disagree with a question they then are bashed about because of their opinion? how lovely

I have 3 kids
I get the busy day reguarly family life stuff
I have used childminders for over 8 years

but given the choice i would not want my child looked after by a childminder doing all this running around - I would look for someone else and have done - regardless if it was a sick relative, school runs across the city or something else that takes up a lot of time driving around in a car.

different strokes for differnt folks and all of that

Earthymama · 06/02/2012 13:37

I looked after my Mum when I was a childminder. we popped in to see her in sheltered accomodation and with pictures the children drew and painted for her. I would never stay for long but as she lived near the park and school it was a lovely way of involving her in my life.

Of course I explained this to parents and no-one ever minded, they all asked about Nanny and were glad their children were in a loving and inclusive environment.

Agincourt · 06/02/2012 13:41

my old childminder had a child with disabilities and her caring duties didn't really interfere with her childminding duties at all. I think you have to remember that childminding is a more a home from home type of environment (ime anyway) and if you don't like that then it's most probably better to go for a nursery environment

wannaBe · 06/02/2012 13:56

well now, I would far rather a childminder who was up-front about the fact she cared for her mother and who it seemed actually cared than the one I knew whose younger charges had to spend at least two hours a week sitting in their buggy doing nothing while she waited for her own child to do after-school activities and chatted to her friends.

Or the one who used to leave the younger kids in the car, out of sight, while she did the preschool drop-off, and arranged for another mother to pick up one of her charges without actually clearing it with the child's mother first.

Or the one who left a sleeping baby in her car outside my house while she came to visit me. Car was at the front of my house, lounge was at the back, she checked on her about every twenty minutes...

Yes, I think that some parents will have preferences. But in truth I think very few parents actually know most of what is going on in most childminders' homes, and that especially if you have younger, less verbal DC, most CM will probably do something that many parents wouldn't approve of, be that something more extreme like the examples I listed above, or even something that is perfectly harmless but which some parents just wouldn't like.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 06/02/2012 16:22

I would be delighted to use a CM who could manage to incorporate CMing around caring for her mum. Firstly because it would demonstrate to me that she was a genuinely caring and organised person, and secondly because it would demonstrate the virtue and value and warts-and-all reality of that caringness that to my DCs. I don't want a childcarer who simply puts my DCs at the centre of everything... I want one who broadens their horizons and teaches them to care about the vulnerable and put others first.

Earthymama · 07/02/2012 20:38

Just revisiting this as I was talking about my Mother and how much my smallest grandson looks like her
Since reading this thread she has been in my mind as I spent time with my little ones.
She so loved spoiling them with a snack and a drink, and as they walked through the residents lounge they were such a focus of attention. We often did impromptu concerts
Please remember that is good for children to experience lots of different things in their lives, a drive in the car, singing a song for and maybe with OP's mum will be something they will enjoy and remember.
OP if the parents don't want you to do this they aren't the right ones, but lots of people will appreciate that you can care for their children and look after your mother.

herhonesty · 08/02/2012 08:47

Depends on what your mothers others needs are really? On the face of it, the journeys might not be that bad, but what other care does she require. I 'd also be concerned that care needs can change very quickly, meaning you're more likely to leave parents in the lurch or not be able to give children the attention they need

HSMM · 08/02/2012 09:04

Earthymama - Your impromptu concerts reminded me of my visit to the old people's home with my mindees (incl visiting my Dad). The children joined in enthusiastically with the karaokee (sp?) session and even taught the adults the actions for assorted songs, such as Wind the Bobbin Up and Wheels on the Bus. A great time was had by all.

I did however clear these visits with their parents. Some were enthusiastic and some were not, so we went on the days which were appropriate to what the parents were happy with. Apart from the car journey and the requirement for close supervision, the visits were hugely enjoyable for the children and the old people.

Chubfuddler · 08/02/2012 09:07

No different to taking another mindee to a toddler group or doing the school run with the after school mindees. No problem to me.

Original poster

littlewillows · 08/02/2012 10:11

You comments have been very encouraging, I thought I would have to give up being a childminder. It was breaking my heart, I just wish someone would contact me now. So I can get started, I do hope that there is parents out there, that will not mind. My mum has a good care package, I don't do alot for her during the week, apart from taking and picking up fro daycentre. Thanks

OP posts:

susiey · 08/02/2012 19:24

My cm has her elderly father living with her, he needs some care but what he adds to the setting for my children is priceless! They get to hang out with a great grandad type person all day and love it!
She can leave him to go out to groups and everything so they still have activities.

In fact if I ask them how was ..... ( cm name) today ? they add and ......( name they call cm father) . He is as much part of the day as the cm and would miss him terribly if he were not there.

CheerfulYank · 08/02/2012 19:35

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But then, I was a cm who would have been extraordinarily lax by some standards on here...I cleaned my house while the children were there, took naps if they were all sleeping, etc. I did what I would do if they'd been my own children, only I did more art projects/educational stuff with the DC I was minding.

You sound lovely and I think it's good for children to see how important family is, and taking care of the elderly!

CheerfulYank · 08/02/2012 19:40

The CM I used to use had her elderly father with her, too. He held the babies. :) All of the DC called him Grandpa Charlie and he was unbelievably kind and lovely to my DS when he was just a wee baby.

He died a few years ago and the church was full of crying parents. We all loved him so much.

AnitaBlake · 12/02/2012 20:37

My CM treats DD (18) as 'her own' when she is with her. I fail to see negatives in anything she does with her tbh. She has her own 10yo and 1-2 (depending on the week) 6yos (school run and before/after school)) and a 2yo every lucnhtime (her mum is a dinner lady).

Everything she does is done for the best for the kids. So if she attends a playgroup with my DD, shhe will get the lunchtime baby dropped off there rather than cut the session short. We have picked DD up from playgroups, if CM is going to gym once 'free'. I wouldn't have a problem with dropping off and picking up your mum. When she's there DD goes on the school run, she loves the CMs DD and the other two midees, she's very much a loved little sister when she's there, and iy can't be bad to have more people that love and care for her.

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