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Original poster

AIBU with nanny who left my son on his own for 20 minutes?

71 replies

WonderingMama · 22/11/2011 19:24

Our nanny has been with us for 3 months.She brings her son to work and all has been going well until today.Our younger son(6 year old) was unwell.She stayed with him yesterday all day long and was supposed to pick up older one from school.Apparently, younger one felt unwell to go for the school run,so she left him in his bed for 20 minutes.
I found out this from the older one this morning ,whilst walking him to school.I was absolutely livid when I've heard it.
Me and my husband had a chat with her tonight and explained the seriousness of the situation,I don't think she was trying to hide it but it was even worse finding out from the older one, not from her.She feels remorseful and explained that it happened all of sudden and she had to pick up the older one and didn't want us to worry.
To be honest I have no idea where to go from here.Am I being unreasonable to feel furious about this?

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MogandMe · 22/11/2011 19:25

Gross misconduct - fire her.

I speak as a nanny

booboobeedoo · 22/11/2011 19:26

Yanbu, it shows terrible judgement, a sackable offence IMO.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 22/11/2011 19:26

I agree with Mog. Totally unacceptable!

ChristinedePizanne · 22/11/2011 19:28

Hmm - would I leave a 6 year old who was too ill to be dragged out of the house for 20 mins? Probably.

Would I want someone else making that decision? Not sure

StewieGriffinsMom · 22/11/2011 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 22/11/2011 19:30

She could have called you and explained the situation and asked for advice. She didn't.

MogandMe · 22/11/2011 19:30

The critical thing for me is why didn't she tell you at the end of the day - why was it upto your son to tell you or keep you in the dark.

EssentialFattyAcid · 22/11/2011 19:30

Could she have driven him to school or was it a 2 mile walk?

MudAndGlitter · 22/11/2011 19:30

YANBU!

annh · 22/11/2011 19:30

"It happened all of a sudden" - what did? Having to pick up your older child from school - well, that's obviously not true, presumably she knew all day that she would have to go to school at that time. How unwell was your son - unless throwing up or very feverish, she needed to insist that he come with her. However, it's not clear whether it is a walk or car journey to school. If the former, I have some sympathy with her finding the younger one unwilling to walk. But she did have all day to come up with a plan, e.g. calling you to find out if there was a neighbour who would sit in your house while she collected older one. This is something I've done myself when my children were little and I had to leave one at home unwell.

QuintesentialShadows · 22/11/2011 19:31

Would YOU have taken the 6 year old on the school run, if he felt really unwell?

PPPop · 22/11/2011 19:31

I would class this as a sackable offence too. It shows big lack of judgment. At the very least she should have called you when she realised there was a problem so you could have come up with a plan b together.

Dinosaurhunter · 22/11/2011 19:31

Of course your not being unreasonable I would sack her to be honest .

Original poster
WonderingMama · 22/11/2011 19:34

It is a 10 minutes walk there and back.The younger one was ok in the morning and hence,we thought he would be ok to walk in the afternoon.Left him at home just to be on the safe side.

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Original poster
WonderingMama · 22/11/2011 19:37

By "suddenly" she meant that when was time to go for a school run,he wasn't fit enough and hence,she had only limited time to decide what to do.To be fair,we haven't told her about the option that older one ould have stayed in the after school club and she mentioned our neighbor who she knows was with children at tennis practice.

OP posts:
frutilla · 22/11/2011 19:45

I don't understand why she wasn't advised what to do in the event the younger one wasn't well enough. I would have expected a conversation along the lines of "X should be fine by the time you have to collect his brother, but if he's not give me a call..." It shouldn't have been left open like that.

RitaMorgan · 22/11/2011 20:00

What would you have liked her to have done in this situation?

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/11/2011 20:09

as with the other thread, no nanny should leave a child alone that is in our care

the nanny obv relieses she has done something silly and least thats something

it does show terrible judgement but i guess i can see where she is coming from, but wouldnt do it personally

but i know mums who have - again it isnt right at that age, but up to the mum in that instance

redglow · 22/11/2011 20:14

A lot can happen if this time especially if he is ill. I am shocked that anyone would do this, I would sack her.

Laquitar · 22/11/2011 20:32

Do you leave emergency money in a jar?
She could have taken a cab, 5 minutes all done.

Most importantly she should tell you in the eve: 'i had a crisis today, what would you prefer me to do in future?'

Karoleann · 22/11/2011 20:52

Oh no not acceptable at all.
Unfortunately it shows she has dreadful judgement.
I'd sack her too TBH.

MogandMe · 22/11/2011 20:59

Wondering why didn't she tell you in the evening instead of leaving DS to tell you the next day.

StillSquiffy · 22/11/2011 21:01

Ye gods, they're all at it today.

Terrible error of judgement. No reason she couldn't have phoned the school if she had been unable to get hold of you. I'd also be inclined to think she put her own sons' security ahead of yours. She should have come clean straight away.

I can imagine my own nanny hopping round with indecision in such circs, but it would be indecision about whether to call me, call the school. or get the sick child up and out. The option of leaving a child would not be on her radar at all. I can't imagine anyone leaving a child alone at that age.

Gross misconduct IMO. Up to you where you take it from here.

MogandMe · 22/11/2011 21:04

Agree Squiffy - I would be deciding whether to get a cab, make a friend/neighbour watch the youngest, ask a friend to pick up the eldest or just make the youngest walk.

JessieLeGrund · 22/11/2011 21:16

I think you are over-reacting. I've never left DD (7) but I can imagine doing so in those circumstances. What do you think could have happened in those 20 mins?