Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

AIBU with nanny who left my son on his own for 20 minutes?

71 replies

WonderingMama · 22/11/2011 19:24

Our nanny has been with us for 3 months.She brings her son to work and all has been going well until today.Our younger son(6 year old) was unwell.She stayed with him yesterday all day long and was supposed to pick up older one from school.Apparently, younger one felt unwell to go for the school run,so she left him in his bed for 20 minutes.
I found out this from the older one this morning ,whilst walking him to school.I was absolutely livid when I've heard it.
Me and my husband had a chat with her tonight and explained the seriousness of the situation,I don't think she was trying to hide it but it was even worse finding out from the older one, not from her.She feels remorseful and explained that it happened all of sudden and she had to pick up the older one and didn't want us to worry.
To be honest I have no idea where to go from here.Am I being unreasonable to feel furious about this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nannynick · 22/11/2011 23:01

From requirements for the Childcare Register

CR1.1 Childminders and home childcarers must ensure that children receiving childcare are kept safe from harm.

CR1.6 Childminders and home childcarers must ensure that they are present on the premises at all times when childcare is being provided unless they have prior written approval from Ofsted to be absent for short periods of time while another suitable person cares for the children.

(I put home childcarers in bold, so make it obvious it applied to nannies who are on the Childcare Register)
By deciding to leave him at home alone, I feel they breached CR1.1 and CR1.6 as they didn't ensure he was kept safe from harm and they were not present on the premises.

The nanny deliberately made that choice to leave him home alone. As a nanny you don't deliberately leave a child in your care on their own.

redglow · 22/11/2011 23:03

That was good finding Nick and proves the point

simpson · 22/11/2011 23:06

I have been in this situation as a parent though, not a nanny.

DS also 6 was off with chicken pox but feeling okish and I was able to leave him (with my mother who then had to go to work) to drop DD (3) at playgroup.

I thought he would be well enough to walk to the playgroup and wait outside (2 min walk,he was not contagious any more but v spotty) But he really did not feel up to walk but obv, I could not leave DD at playgroup....

Luckily my neighbour stepped in and stayed with him so I could get her, but I was starting to panic!!!

However in your situation she should have rung you and told you her dilhema (sp)

DS incidently is pretty trustworthy so if I had no other option I would have had to leave him unfortunately, although I would have felt terrible afterwards.

I also think that 3mths is not long enough to know how a child will be if they are left alone, not that they should be in the first place iyswim.

redglow · 22/11/2011 23:10

I have been in this situation and rang the school, they got another parent to bring my son home for me.

WhoIsThatMaskedWoman · 22/11/2011 23:23

I've been in this situation several times with poorly but not severely ill child. At 6 I bundled her into pushchair and took her along. At 7 I asked her whether she wanted to stay or come along - when she was just 7 she was scared to be on her own so she came, at 7 and a half she said she'd rather stay in bed so I gave her the phone and stayed in touch with my mobile. If she'd been severely ill I'd have talked to the school and worked something out. But that's my child, and my call, it's not a risk that you can take with someone else's child.

I don't think it's an appalling "Out of the door this minute!" offence, but it's definitely a case for a serious warning, and if you decided that your trust in her was irreparably damaged and she had to go I wouldn't blame you.

Stars22 · 22/11/2011 23:48

Like someone else just said i think a warning needs to be done and she needs to be told not to do it again. As a nanny I cant believe she has done this. There are so many things that could have happened the child could have been sick or fitted because if they were that ill they couldnt go out one of these could have been possible, what if someone had knocked on the door a couple of times?, what if the phone had rung and the child answered it and said they were alone? What if something happened to the nanny on the way? what if a fire started? There are reasons why we dont leave children on there own!! Likely that the child would stay tucked up in bed, but the risks of something happening outway it a long way for me.

In the paper there was a really sad story once and when ever i hear of children being left alone it always reminds me of this. A grandmother left a toddler and baby in the car while she 'popped' into the supermarket- thats what she thought. She was knocked over on the way into the shop and knocked unconcious, it was a very hot day and the children ended up being left in the car too long as know one knew they were there. The baby sadly died and the toddler was serverly dehydrated. You can see how it happens she thought it would be safe, she thought she would be 2 minutes, but wasnt. :(

fraktious · 23/11/2011 08:28

nick got there before me. The nanny should know, especially as on the OFSTED register, not to leave a child alone. There were many other options that she clearly couldn't think of at the time but you just do not leave a child in your care alone. Even if it's not GM, which it probably is, then I would still get rid.

MogandMe · 23/11/2011 08:58

I still want to know why she didn't tell you at the end of the day and why it was left upto your son to tell you the following morning - that would annoy me more tbh.

ChitChattingElf · 23/11/2011 09:38

For me the REAL problem about this situation is not this isolated incident (although I'm not saying that this incident is not a problem in and of itself!). It is what this incident indicates that is of greater concern.

You have a nanny who in an emergency didn't

use good judgment in the emergency situation
didn't think through the possible consequences of her actions
didn't think to contact you when she was completely unsure of what to do
after said situation didn't bring to your attention what had happened, either because a) she didn't think it was a big enough deal or b) she knew it was a big deal and hid it from you.

It doesn't cast her in a good light, I'm afraid. One or two of these things are bad enough, but all of them?????

As a parent it is simply impossible to sit a nanny down and say "In this situation you will do, X, Y and Z" for every random, possible occurrence. The whole point of having a nanny is that you have a responsible adult who will be able to look after your children whatever the situation throws at them.

I think you have ended up with a nanny who has gone into the profession because they thought it was easy and it suited them with their own childcare arrangements. Nannying is NOT easy, and you need to have a hell of a lot of common sense.

nannyl · 23/11/2011 09:40

completley unacceptable

gross misconduct = instant dismissal IMO (as a nanny)

you dont leave a 6 year old, esp not an ill child

planetpotty · 23/11/2011 09:51

I don't think you need to be trained to know not to leave a six year old alone in a house.

Fire? Someone nocking at the door and them being scared? Getting hungry trying to cook something? General farting around that six year olds do.

If the school was in the same road maybe but not a twenty minute gap in care.

I'm quite laid back but this would be the end of the arrangement for me, can't imagine ever doing that especially with someone elses dc pretty sure it's illegal.

glitternanny · 23/11/2011 11:50

As a nanny there is no way I'd do this!!

I wouldn't leave my child

glitternanny · 23/11/2011 11:53

As a nanny there is no way I'd do this!!

I wouldn't leave my child on his own at that age whether he was Poorly or not!

Call the school, call you, call a nanny/mummy friend or a neighbour and get back up.

I'd expect to be fired to be honest.

EssentialFattyAcid · 24/11/2011 07:15

This was a bad error of judgement IMO. the house could have caught fire.The main issue is do you still have confidence in her judgement or not?

Kayzr · 24/11/2011 07:19

If someone I was employing to look after my children left one of them at home alone then I would sack them. I wouldn't even think about it.

He could have choked on vomit, taken a turn for the worse, tried to cook something and burnt himself or badly cut himself.

Fishpond · 26/11/2011 00:26

I think all the "think what could have happened" scenarios are OTT. Of course there are always horror stories but I think it's extremely unlikely with an ill 6 yr old in a 20min span of time. Of course could depend on child's maturity level, personality etc, but I would leave my own in such a scenario.

However as a childcare professional extremely different, in no way would I ever condone it, and nail in the proverbial coffin would be her not telling me, I'm afraid. She would be fired on my end.

catepilarr · 26/11/2011 23:37

i think in the uk it is usual not to leave children of this age alone, even for short periods of time. in other europian countries /can definitely speak of germany, czech rep. ,slovakia, hungary/ children stay at home by themselves with no problem. people wouldnt drag an ill child on a school run. on teh other hand an older child wouldnt need to be picked up so the problem wouldnt even arise.

i personally wouldnt see leaving the child at home for 20 minutes any problem at all but i think the op needs to let their nanny know how they want to handle situations like this.

leeloo1 · 27/11/2011 08:00

To me the fact she has apologised, said she made a bad judgement call and that she realises this will affect how you trust her shows that she recognises she was in the wrong and is capable of change.

She was evidently caught on the hop and made a (bad) decision trying to cope on her own rather than bother you. It sounds like she made a 'mum' decision (not ideal but practical if you know the child will behave and stay in bed) rather than a 'nanny' decision (needs to be above reproach and open to scrutiny) - not justifying what she did, or saying I'd do the same, but you can see she didn't intentionally do harm.

If it was me I would issue a formal warning, to show her how seriously upset I was, and make it very clear that in future she needs to call if she is faced with a similar dilemma.

Pishtushette · 27/11/2011 08:57

I think I would be most worried about someone knocking at the door.

The guidelines say you can't leave your mindees alone so it was wrong for her to do it and very wrong for her not to tell you.

cory · 28/11/2011 09:04

I might have done this myself with my own child, perfectly normal in my culture.

(after all, how many children try to cook something within the first 20 minutes if they have been given specific instructions not to and know mum is going to be home shortly to check on them?)

I would never have done it with somebody else's. It's just a totally different scenario.

redglow · 28/11/2011 18:04

I am amazed at the amount of mums on here that would do this, and I think I am a laid back mother.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread