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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Should I report childminders unacceptable behaviour?

35 replies

henrald · 19/11/2011 17:23

I am lucky enough to be able to stay at home to look after my children and we attend a number of playgroups each week. Here we always encounter many childminders and nannys often bumping into the same group several times a week. Whilst the majority of them are really great with the children in their charge, there is one lady in particular who I have am concerned about

Over the months there have been many incidents that I have raised an eyebrow about but have brushed aside as we all have different methods of parenting and disciplining. However a few weeks ago one of the little boys she looks after who is 12 months old was repeatedly ignored, pushed past and shaken off by this woman, who commented to her childminder friend "hes doing my head in following me everywhere" The child screamed for the entire hour, lifting up his arms to be picked up. At one point he was picked up, plonked in the corner with a jigsaw and left, still sobbing. I went over with my 20 month old son and was immediately reprimanded and told not to "give him any attention cos thats what he wants" (is this not what all babies want)

This week at playgroup a little girl she was looking after cried all the way through story time (as my own have sometimes) and the childminder repeatedly put her hand over the babys mouth to stop her. I and others who had seen this were horrified!

What should I do? I am torn! I just keep thinking if this was my baby I would be distraught.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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birdsofshoreandsea · 19/11/2011 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hassled · 19/11/2011 17:26

Do you know the parents? Could you track them down?

ChesterDraws · 19/11/2011 17:30

I am always worried when people behave in this way to children in public, as it makes me wonder what they do in the privacy of their own home.
I think you should say something to the people who run the toddler group. Let them deal with it.

MerryMarigold · 19/11/2011 17:30

I guess I would say something, although I am very that she would do that in public, knowing a lot of potential business is watching her. The childminders at our groups are impeccably behaved and quite often ask me if I'm going back to work. A lot of the mums meet their childminder at toddler group. Do other parents at the group feel the same way about this lady?

NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain · 19/11/2011 18:25

woah that is terrible, really shocking to read, so must have been even more so to witness, it wasn't one isolated incident either, we all have a duty of care to children and I think you are in a good position to report this so called child minder.

redglow · 19/11/2011 18:30

Thats awful I would report her and get another parent or childminder to back you up. This makes me so angry. Its very difficult to know where to go with this though ofsted would find it hard to prove try and get some back up.

south345 · 19/11/2011 19:08

Report her, I am in a similar situation I have seen a childminder over her numbers, leaving the children at home with her 17 year old, leaving the kids in a car well out of sight and also a nearly 2 year old followed us out of school next to a main road and she didn't notice! I know I have to report her or will have it on my conscience if anything happens to any of them, I reported it to the head of our network but didn't need to name her as she'd had a nightmare about what she got up to the night before (freaky!).

Original poster

henrald · 19/11/2011 20:04

Thanks for all your feedback on this matter. The more I think about this, the more I think I should speak out. I am definitely not the only person who has noticed these incidents. One lady who witnessed this didnt believe me when I told her that she was a childminder and not the childs mother (although this behaviour from either is completely unacceptable) I'm back at playgroup on Monday so will speak to the organisers and ask for advice.

OP posts:

oldqueenie · 19/11/2011 20:12

by all means get the organisers' views but whatever they say YOU need to do something about this. those poor babies. they are completely dependent on adults for their care and safety and they are being ill treated. can you imagine if this was one of your dc and you found out that "everyone" at these groups had seen this behaviour but "didnt like to interfere" / didnt think it was their business"? if in doubt 'phone the NSPCC helpline for professional independent advice 0808 800 5000. please do the right thing.

TheOriginalFAB · 19/11/2011 20:18

I don't think it is anything to do with the organisers and they might well say to do nothing because they want people to go to the playgroup. You need to report her to whoever is in charge of making sure CM's do their job right.

ScarlettIsWalking · 19/11/2011 20:19

Please report this that's really awful.

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 19/11/2011 20:19

I would suggest reporting to ofsted asap.

If it was a parent behaving in this way a) repeatdly neglecting children and b) phsyically abusing a child by putting hand over mouth to make them quiet - then you would probably be thinking of referring to social care

so please do report this childminder.

looneytune · 19/11/2011 20:32

I'm a CM and this is very sad :( I think you should report direct to OFSTED yourself and if the others do aswell, all the better. Poor little ones :(

Flisspaps · 19/11/2011 20:40

As a CM, I also think you should report her to Ofsted. Is she definitely a registered childminder (as opposed to someone looking after children for money without the correct paperwork in place)

You could also alert the Early Years Team at your local council who may have contacts within the group you visit who can then ask them if they've spotted anything untoward.

Original poster

henrald · 19/11/2011 22:40

Thanks again. I was going to ask the organisers of the playgroup (sure start) for advice on who to report this to and to find out the name of the childminder, not just to pass the buck to them as it may have sounded. Believe me, this has played on my mind constantly since the incident occured and I wont just sit back and hope somebody else takes action. Now that I know who I can report this to I will be doing just that.

OP posts:

trickydickie · 19/11/2011 22:46

As a surestart centre the playgroup will know exactly who you report this to etc. and have their own policies on this. I am really surprised that surestart staff have let this go and have not report this childminder before now.

The poor children. I would be distraught if I thought anyone looking after any of my children were treating them in such a way.

Original poster

henrald · 19/11/2011 22:55

Perhaps they have done already.

OP posts:

threefeethighandrising · 19/11/2011 22:56

You should report to OFSTED I think. Although as a parent I would definitely want to be told.

threefeethighandrising · 19/11/2011 23:00

Good on you for standing up for those kids. By the sounds of it this woman really shouldn't be a CM.

dmo · 19/11/2011 23:08

cant believe this is happening and at a surestart group aswel
i cannot believe this cm has not been reported by a staff member it is supposed to be the chid that is important
god only knows what goes on in her own home

looneytune · 20/11/2011 07:49

I didn't realise it was a surestart group, that's even more shocking! And yes, speaking to them is a good idea, I thought it was a just a standard toddler group and feared they wouldn't want to get involved.

Good luck and well done for speaking up!

RubyrooUK · 20/11/2011 08:06

Yes OP, please please speak up. As the mum of a baby in nursery, it would break my heart for someone to treat my child this way. And I like to think I wouldn't let that sort of behaviour go on either if I saw it.

Please let us know what happens when you report it. This actually made me cry a bit.

bankholiday · 20/11/2011 14:00

OP, please report this. I will leave DS with a CM in Jan when I start work, he'll be 11 months then, and the thought that he could be one of those poor babies brings tears to my eyes. I don't think he will, the CM seems lovely, but I can only hope that if someone sees something like this, they would speak up when I can't. Poor babies, please come back and keep us updated.

Tanith · 20/11/2011 14:21

If it's a surestart group, I'd be inclined to contact them first. They'll know this woman's name and should have her registration number if she's a registered childminder.

Ask them what will be done as a result.

You can then take it further by contacting Ofsted yourself if you're not happy with their response or if the behaviour continues.

There are 3 reasons for doing it this way:

It's occurring at one of their groups - I assume on their premises? They therefore have some accountability.
They have a few courses of action they can take, including getting the childminding team at the local authority involved who are in a better position to monitor the childminder whereas OFSTED would only investigate this one complaint.

They may decide to report to Ofsted themselves.

You'd have some evidence to back up a future complaint.

An0therName · 20/11/2011 15:39

That's great advice Tanith -
bankholiday - I have know loads of childminders and the behavoiur is very very rare -that's why people had said its possible she is not registered -

worse I have come across is some children being allowed to watch a bit too much TV

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