Need a night nanny

[Alibabaandthe80nappies]

How do a go about finding a night nanny? I need someone who can do a few overnights in the next 3 weeks so that DH and I can get some sleep - we are on our knees with sleep deprivation.

DS1 is 3 and sleeps fine, but DS2 is coming up to 8 months and does not sleep well at all! Ideally I want someone who will bring him to me when he needs a feed and then settle him back to sleep because that is the bit that is killing us.

Is this even possible?

why at 8mts is he still havfing a night feed? no wonder he is waking up!!!
just offer him water

Um, no.

Why don't you have him at the side of your bed then, since he is still feeding at night?

My ds was a bad sleeper and in the end I decided that his last feed would be formula. As soon as I did that (with solids during the day) he no longer woke up quite as much during the night. We got him down from 5 or 6 feeds a night to perhaps 1 or 2 which was much more manageable.

And I don't know what's so wrong with someone suggesting water? At 8 months I presume he is weaned so waking at night could suggest that he is thirsty rather than hungry. By offering him water you are teaching him that there really is no point in waking up as all he will get is water.

Right, I didn't ask for comments on my parenting - this is the childcare section.

I do have him next to my bed.

Does anyone have any helpful advice about where I might find a night nanny?

thats what i meant RhbarbO
my children are now 14 and 15 and i have been a nanny/nusery nurse and now a childminder over the past 20 years and have advised a few parents and this has always worked

Who is criticising your parenting skills? I did bloody well offer advice thanks very much, I even told you a little about the problems we had with my ds.

Next time I won't bother.

Sheesh!

have you any family near? maybe they could take him once a week overnight

And if you have him next to your bed why the hell do you need to pay someone to lift him out of his bed, lay him on your lap and then put him back again?

Are you for real or are you acting in this way to try and cause a fight? Cause I came on here to offer some real advice having had a baby of my own who had problems sleeping. But if you act like an ungrateful cow, tired or no tired (and yes, night feeding IS tiring, plenty of us do it/have done it) then you won't get any helpful advice at all.

Go to an agency, yes of course it is possible that someone will bring you the baby for a feed but then it does not solve your problem does it, I think that is what people are trying to say to you.

An experienced Night Nanny might tell you this as well and I am guessing you wont like that either.

Rhubarb yes I am for real.

I have been through broken nights once before with DS1, the difference this time is that DS2 doesn't go back to sleep afterwards. Sometimes he is awake for an hour in the middle of the night, and he doesn't sleep during the day either.

If I don't feed him and DH tries to settle him then he is awake and grizzling for ages until I do feed him, believe me we have tried everything.

I am so tired I can't think straight, I am terminally grumpy - as you see - and I just need some sleep. And now I am crying too. I'm sorry if I've been rude.

Try Eden maternity, I always found great maternity/night nurses through them. They also have some trouble-shooting experts who might help get your baby to sleep better at night. I sympathise with you - my DD now 10 months has never slept through, wakes 1-3 times in the night still no matter what "helpful" suggestions people have - things improve for a bit and then get worse when she has a new tooth coming.

Hi OP,

I completely get where you are coming from, even if people were trying to be helpful.

I would use an agency, sorry i can't suggest one, I'm afraid.

PS. I night fed my youngest DS until 15m, so very sympathetic.

Oh ali

I'll PM you but popped on to say please lay off her and answer the question. She's on my PN thread and going through the mill right now. If she doesn't want to night wean that's her choice.

Would you be expressing or BFing?

Look, my post said nothing about your parenting skills ok? We are trying to help so bear with us.

Do you have a routine with your ds. This is very much against Mumsnet, but I'm going to recommend a read of The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford. Some hate her and some love her, but what she does is advocate a routine. Your baby is 8 months old so he should be awake until lunchtime, after which you can put him down for a 2hr nap. Then bedtime. By giving them a routine they start to understand how the day goes. So you'd give him his feed at certain times and do a proper bedtime routine so that he knows it's time to go to sleep.

It might take a week, but if you start on a routine and then offer only water during the night, you might start to see some results.

Sure he'll scream at night for his feed, but if you make sure his nappy is not soiled and that he is warm and safe then just ignore. Again some people hate controlled crying but ime it is worth it. Put him in another room so he doesn't disturb you.

If he is feeding well then waking up at this time every night suggests that he is getting too much sleep during the day and he is not crying out of hunger, he is crying because he wants to play. You need to reset his clock and that may take time and if you have the money, then perhaps get a nanny on a temporary basis to help you through it. But give it a go, read the book and you might come out of this feeling human again.

frak, not all us know a poster's background and I was taken aback by the accusation that I was having a go at her parenting. Obv now I know there is something more to it, but at first I didn't and thought she was either trying to wind me up or was being ungrateful. I think a little background would have helped enormously. I hope she does get some help very soon.

do you work op [btw here's a hug if you want it], if not could you get someone to look after your dcs in the morning instead so you could catch up. I've been there and it is horrid, and the last thing you want is for people (however well meaning they might be) to tell you what you are doing wrong. x

OP asked a question about finding a night nanny and got told she should night wean - that's not helpful regardless of a poster's background. I would take great exception to anyone telling me to do that!

Obviously not everyone knows everyone's story but that's rather the point.... How do you know her DS2 is getting too much sleep in the day? Why advocate giving formula? Or cosleeping (which she's doing already)? Why not just take the question at face value and answer it? This section is usually so good at that!

It's a bit like how I posted that my nanny had to leave. I didn't get anyone telling me to give up work because of it.

What? Why are you taking my well intentioned advice and twisting it to mean something horrible? That is just hurtful and I don't have PND but I do have feelings and what you have just done has upset me.

She asked for advice and night-weaning was a suggestion. That's what advice is, it's suggestions that you may or may not take. I don't know that her ds is getting too much sleep in the day or whether or not she is co-sleeping, which is why I have asked more questions.

You cannot answer a post at face value when there is little to go on. But thanks for making me feel shit. I should obviously take my advice and stuff it up my arse then should I?

OP, sorry to hear you are feeling down and I hope my posts didn't add to your upset, they were certainly not meant to. I hoped that my explaining my experience you might feel like there was light at the end of the tunnel. I shall leave this thread now for some face-value advice by better qualified people.

Rhubarb I know you have the best of intentions but GF goes against everything I hold dear. DS2 does actually have a pretty good routine, it slots around DS1's preschool hours and meals and is very consistent. He gets plenty of chances to nap in his buggy or in the car but rarely does, or only for 15-20 minutes.
He really doesn't sleep during the day, if anything he is chronically overtired just like DH and I, but he just won't nap. Yesterday he slept in his cot for 1.5 hours in the morning and that is the longest nap he has had practically in his life.

pinkpeony - thank you, I will google them.

x-posts with various people.

Look thank you everyone who has posted, I do appreciate it. I was a bit taken aback because I thought that I would just get a straight 'go here, ring this agency' type answer having posted in childcare.

your question was perfectly clear, Ali - how to get a night nanny

you weren't asking for advice
clearly feeding your ds in the night is something you are happy with, and ime most babies aren't sleeping through every night at his age anyway, plenty still need a feed in the night

good luck in finding a night nanny

www.nightnannies.com/

there are night nannies that use this board.... where are you based?

Hi there,

Sorry to hear things are tough with your waking little on.

A ouple of agencies I work through who are great from my perspective as a MN and NN, and from the families I work with are -

Louise at cocoon - 0777 166 1144 www.cocoon.uk.com

Daisy at Silent Night Nannies - 0792 1762 176 www.silentnightnannies.co.uk

and

Tonya at Maternal Solutions - 0207 225 1555 www.nannyworld.co.uk

Hope this is of some help.

rhubarb0 I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry if I did, but I don't think you realised how much you hurt Ali's IYSWIM or maybe how bluntly what you were saying was coming across.