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Original poster

Need a night nanny

56 replies

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 14/11/2011 12:30

How do a go about finding a night nanny? I need someone who can do a few overnights in the next 3 weeks so that DH and I can get some sleep - we are on our knees with sleep deprivation.

DS1 is 3 and sleeps fine, but DS2 is coming up to 8 months and does not sleep well at all! Ideally I want someone who will bring him to me when he needs a feed and then settle him back to sleep because that is the bit that is killing us.

Is this even possible?

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TheRhubarb · 14/11/2011 14:13

I didn't realise that posting in childcare meant that you were not after advice. My first post offered some help as I presumed that in order for a nanny to get the baby up, the baby must be in a different room. I made some suggestions, I didn't mean for those suggestions to be blunt or hurtful. I did have a terrible time with ds waking up 5 to 6 times in the night and I thought I would share what worked for me.

I will think next time before I post. In hindsight, because I didn't know of any nightnannies I should simply have not come on and in future will steer clear of the childcare topic.

Apologies again to Ali x

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 14/11/2011 14:32

Hello There I am a night nanny and cover all of the east midlands and warwickshire and if you live in my area then please do send me a message

alternatively I can highly recommend the agency www.kidsmatter.uk.com and also tinies nanny agency and both are nationwide.

good luck

fraktious · 14/11/2011 14:52

Don't feel like you shouldn't post here! Everyone just has different parenting styles and different needs. Some need a NN to get then through a tough few weeks, others want them to troubleshoot but that's a need you have to ascertain. Had it been the latter I'd have been straight in there with you suggesting how to stop night feeds etc!

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/11/2011 15:19

where are you ali?

i do night nannying

i know this is not what you want to hear but to enable you and dh to get a good night sleep every/most nights you need to wean off the night time feeding - they dont need it at 8 mths - but you dont want advice to stop, so will leave it there :)

ali - i have always said that sleep breeds sleep and if in a good daytime routine then a good nights sleep follows

you say ds2 has plenty of chances to nap in the buggy or car - and thats the problem, his body is used to having naps and he needs to be retrained to sleep properly during the day - nothing wrong with buggys or cars as long as get a decent sleep - but sounds as if he doesnt

so needs to start having sleeps in his cot till he has sorted out better sleeping pattern

ideally at 8mth old should have a nap/snooze 9-10 and again 1-3 and maybe small catnap 5.30/6 if really tired but no more then 30mins or wont be in bed by 7pm

Original poster
Alibabaandthe80nappies · 14/11/2011 15:39

I'm in Hampshire blondes. I know what you're saying about needing to nap in his cot, and he does when we are at home, but I can't leave him at home in his bed when I need to go out to take DS1 to preschool or pick him up or whatever. He won't settle for a nap for me very often without a boob, which is fine, I am very happy to feed on demand, but he will and does drop off on the way to or from preschool, or music or whatever. And frankly atm I don't care where or how he sleeps as long as he does! Grin

Rhubarb thank you, and I am sorry I bit your head off.

Thanks for the links and recommendations everyone, I will look them up later.

OP posts:
zimm · 14/11/2011 19:15

Rhubarb, your posts advocate a sleep training method which even those who are in favour of it know it should be used before twelve months. And also you clearly know nothing about breastfeeding, plenty of babies still need night feeds at 8 months. Your advice was not asked for and further more it was contrary to the op's baby's welfare. Good luck op.

zimm · 14/11/2011 19:16

Should read 'should not be used'. Sorry.

redglow · 14/11/2011 19:30

Alibaba you could just ring up your lacal nanny agency. I have got jobs like this eventhough I am not a proper night nanny but done lots of overnight work. Its not easy and I was still breastfeeding my DC long after 8 months in the night. People can give you all the advice in the world but every child is different and you know your child.

You did not nearly need advice that you did not ask for.

redglow · 14/11/2011 19:32

Where abouts in hants are you?

Siegfried · 14/11/2011 20:05

I used nightnannies.

CountBapula · 14/11/2011 20:19

Just to say Ali I'm still giving DS a night feed if he needs one, and he's 14 months old. He was a terrible sleeper but got better on his own. He now sleeps through four or five nights a week and the other nights he only wakes once and I feed him right back to sleep. I figure he'll drop those feeds when he's ready, just like he did the others.

We tried night weaning when he was seven months old and he still woke up every 2-3 hours. It made sod-all difference to how well he slept.

Just wanted to post in case it gave you some light at the end of the tunnel. Hope you get some sleep soon.

appleballcatdog · 14/11/2011 20:47

Hi Ali, just wanted to ask if your dp is on board with settling your ds back to sleep? Out of interest do you think your ds will settle for a night nanny if he wont for your dh? Only asking as my dd was the same for dp and she was bfing all night until about 6 weeks ago. (she is 13m now) We tried a softly softly approach to night weaning and DID offer water first but if she refused it was no biggie!
Dd wouldnt settle at all without being fed to sleep so we started trying to crack the bedtime feed first with dp settling her at bedtime after being fed and then if she woke dp would try tosettle her but if it didnt work then I would feed her then give her back to dp to settle and after a while she associated us both with sleep and wasnt waking to look for a feed. She still co-sleeps after about 3am. Like you I dont agree with cc and tbh 8 months is still quite small, its entirely possible that he is hungry and bfing is much more than just food anyway! Have you read the no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley (sp?)? I know its not really what you were asking for but just thought I would share my experience as I was in a similar situation to you just a few weeks ago hope everything gets a little better for you soon! Smile

Original poster
Alibabaandthe80nappies · 14/11/2011 21:21

redglow I will PM you location :)

apple - DH can often settle him, but it takes time and doing it 3-4 times a night isn't feasible when DH is working fulltime in quite a senior job. He needs his wits about him! He does do it, but a few bad nights on the trot and he is exhausted just like me.

I nightweaned DS1 at 18 months, fed him until he was 2, and I wouldn't consider nightweaning DS2 until he is at least a year old. I really do think he is hungry - DH can settle him usually until about 3am at which point it really is hunger. He is a big baby - about 26lbs and almost walking, he is never still and must use the most incredible amount of energy.

Thanks for all the links (and the sympathy), I've had a look and I'm planning to get in touch with some of them tomorrow

OP posts:
TheRhubarb · 15/11/2011 10:42

Sorry, hate to come back on and this is nothing to do with you Ali. But which part of sorry do you lot not get?

I apologised - twice. I said I did not know this thread was NOT for advice, I just saw it in active convos.

Thanks for telling me that I know nothing about breastfeeding. You know, I'm a mother too and I had eaten humble pie already. How nasty of you to rub it in with your unnecessary comments directed towards me.

Some qualified night nurses have already said on this thread that weaning might be a good idea, so I'm not talking complete bullshit. However thanks for your snide remarks after I had apologised. You could have just carried on with the thread and given the OP the information that she wanted, but instead you thought you'd have a go as well.

That's to zimm, redglow and Taptap.

Sorry for the hijack Ali, I just couldn't let that stand without challenging it. Hope you've found someone who can help.

cupcakecastles · 15/11/2011 13:35

What area are you in Ali?

sailorsgal · 15/11/2011 19:24

Hi Ali, Depending whereabout you are in hants you are. I would be happy to help. Have lots of experience as a maternity nurse and have a child of my own. DH is home on leave so am able to travel.

I would try night nannies, eden or howabout family match in Winchester.

Hope you get some sleep soon.

eastnorth · 15/11/2011 20:09

Wow rhubarb look back at your threads and see how bolshy you come across.
People are giving their opinions on your comments same as what you did.

I think other people got their point over a lot nicer than you.

TheRhubarb · 15/11/2011 20:20

You're following me? Bringing in other threads onto this one? Why?

I made a mistake on this thread, I apologised. What is your point?

TheRhubarb · 15/11/2011 20:22

Ah who gives a toss what you think eastnorth, some people obviously just like to have a go. Ali has forgiven my mistake and that is all that matters. I don't spend my life on Mumsnet. I try to help where I can, I give opinions (nothing wrong with that) and I try not to upset or insult, if I did MNHQ would delete my comments I am sure, but they don't tend to. If you have a problem with me then I suggest you contact me personally to sort it out.

I'm off to read dd a bedtime story. Let us know how you get on Ali. You sound tired and fed up and I wish you all the best as I can remember that feeling very well.

eastnorth · 15/11/2011 20:29

I only meant this thread I have never come across you on another thread, should I have said posts, sorry my mistake. Rather school playground stuff suggesting I contact you personally.

redglow · 15/11/2011 20:59

I for one did not think you were talking rubbish RhubarbO, Just thought calling somebody an ungrateful cow was really harsh.

Original poster
Alibabaandthe80nappies · 15/11/2011 21:15

My very own bunfight thread Grin

DS2 has actually napped properly today, and now he's down to sleep and DH and I will be following shortly!
I had a lie in this morning, and DH had a nap this afternoon so we're feeling a bit more with it. Hurrah for DH working from home! :)

I've got in touch with a couple of nannies locally who I'm hoping to speak to in more depth in the next couple of days. I think we are going to steer clear of agencies, partly because the registrations fees are very high when we only want someone for a couple of nights, but also they seem to view it as a problem that needs fixing, which isn't quite how DH and I see it.

Thanks for your help everyone - and please people stop leaping on Rhubarb.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 15/11/2011 22:25

can i ask ali, why you dont want to wean off night feeds?

i know you say you have tried everything and that ds screams for hours etc but it takes time - tbh about 2 weeks of hell for cc/weaning off night feeds/cold turkey etc

so yes dh and you may feel totally drained those 2 weeks but things WILL improve

there hasnt been a baby that i havnt re trained yet and within 2 weeks

just curious, thats all - not a dig or anything x

ThatScrotumCat · 15/11/2011 22:33

I am a little late to this, glad that you`re feeling a bit better Ali & managed to get a lie-in.

Please ignore the comments suggesting your eight month old baby should be night-weaned by now. Absolute tosh. Many breastfed babies still need a night feed at that age, enforcing a daytime sleep routine/own room/water wont necessarily change that. Hes also too tiny for any form of controlled-crying, he doesnt know how to manipulate & if anything he would learn that theres no point crying as no-one will come to him Sad

I know this isn`t an answer to your original question but have you considered co-sleeping? He could latch on without you physically having to get up. Being so close to you might be the comfort he needs & may actually encourage his to night-wean himself.

By the way I am a qualified maternity nurse/nanny with almost 20 years experience, I stopped maternity nursing as my approach became more baby-led. I BF my 2.5 year old until he was almost two & my 5 month old is currently EBF (& Im on ML). You dont need to steer clear of agencies, you just need to be clear about what you need. Perhaps someone who is newly qualified, not so set in their ways & willing to listen to what you need.

Hope it works out.

Original poster
Alibabaandthe80nappies · 15/11/2011 23:07

Blondes I think he is too little to wean. When we nightweaned DS1, he was around 18 months and it took 2 nights because he was ready - he only cried for an hour in total across both nights, and DH held him the whole time.
I'm sure that DS2 could be nightweaned with 2 weeks of screaming, but I'm not prepared to put him through that.
I'm sorry if I come over a little abruptly, it is something I feel very strongly about.

ThatScrotumCat (fab name Grin) we probably co-sleep for about half the night at the moment, because I feed him lying down and we fall back asleep. The difficulties come when we put him back in his cot, he often wakes up a little and then just won't settle down without lots of cuddles and rocking etc.
DS1 had a dummy and used to be able to settle himself to sleep if he had his dummy. We have tried repeatedly to get DS2 to take one, but he won't have it.

Right I am off to bed.

OP posts: