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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

just a thread for cms or nannies really

50 replies

thebody · 02/11/2011 10:54

because unless you work in childcare 'alone' as cms and nannies do then its not for you to comment as you have no understanding of the situation.

is anyone else here totally shocked at the level of abuse and vitriol directed at the cm involved in the 'knock on the door thread'.

I dont for a moment blame the parent posting, she has no choice but to enquire into the matter and if the cm is indeed guilty of these allegatioins then I would be the first to condemn..BUT

its shocking to me the amount of posters who instantly urge the poster to move her child immediately, or worse even if the allegations are proved to be unfounded, as its still effectivly no smoke without fire.

these posters have no qualms or sense of understanding that cms run businesses and that these businesses are supporting their own families, mortgages, bills..

they seem to have no sense of justice, ethical behaviour or commen decency and all this on gossip and heresay to an otherwise trusted,'gentle' cm.

very very frightening.

OP posts:

MaryPoppinsMagic · 02/11/2011 10:58

I totally agree, I have heard of childminders being suspended for an allegation that wasn't true. She lost all her business and her reputation was ruined.

MaryPoppinsMagic · 02/11/2011 10:58

I totally agree, I have heard of childminders being suspended for an allegation that wasn't true. She lost all her business and her reputation was ruined.

hayleysd · 02/11/2011 11:01

I'm a childminder and have had 2 malicious complaints made in a year and I can tell you it's horrible. Someone obviously has a grudge against me but one false allegation could ruin my business.

Rosiegirl · 02/11/2011 11:14

As I said on the other thread, it is something that scares me to death. As its not just the business end, but what if my own children became involved and the local community heard "gossip". We have seen what has happened when suspected peodos have been "outed" the mobs have set upon them, without any proof, but just the whisper of gossip sets people off, this has also happened to teachers, their lives are destroyed.

I fully understand protection of children is the most important thing. BUT if people then have suspicions or worries they should follow the correct channels and not spread gossip, passing it from person to person, especially if it was a fellow CM they should know better.

Surely those that work in offices, know how awful it is when rumors are spread about an office affair, can you imagine how then it must feel to be accused of mis-treating a child.

leeloo1 · 02/11/2011 11:49

Yes I am shocked and it makes me feel very, very vulnerable - all it takes is for one person to misread a situation or make a malicious report and your career could be over! Very scary.

I believe we are more vulnerable than teachers, as in the classroom (usually) there are adult witnesses around and the children are old enough to (hopefully) say accurately what has happened - although they are old enough to have grudges themselves too I guess!

Original poster

thebody · 02/11/2011 13:15

Rosie yes you have been through this, how ghastly for you and your family.

hayleysd you too, awful,and we are most of us mothers as well, so these allegations could presumably trigger social services investigation of treatment and care of our own children.

really scarey and yes I do think we are much more vulnerable than other carers simply because we work alone leeloo totally agree.

Marypoppins, again awful, its enough to push someone over the edge as its so difficult to fight gossip.

so worrying.

OP posts:

marcopront · 02/11/2011 13:30

I'm not a cm or nanny but I am shocked by the responses. There is no evidence that the cm is at fault at all.
I had a lovely cm before I moved overseas. She was suspended by OFSTED because of a malicious complaint and lost business because of it.
You are in a very vulnerable position but I strongly believe the care from a good childminder is far better than a good nursery.

looneytune · 02/11/2011 14:33

I have also been subject to 2 malicious complaints where Ofsted just turned up (I'm pleased they did as they saw me in action and knew I wasn't putting an act on as I wasn't expecting them). What I was accused of was far, far, FAR worse that this other CM, we're talking illegal things as well as 'not right' and it was truly horrible. I wanted to jack it all in the first time as I was in shock and couldn't cope with the seriousness of it all but ALL....every single one of my families supported me 100% and reassured me and 'wouldn't let' me quit! And most of these had young enough children that if they'd come on here and heard the mn parents views, would have got rid of me IMMEDIATELY! Most wrote letters to Ofsted, most offered to speak on the phone to them, they were FUMING about it on my behalf. Because they couldn't believe for one moment that I'd do these things. I'm so grateful for such wonderful parents! For the last 2 years it's mostly been my business keeping a roof over our heads because dh has been out of work. If I'd have lost my business, we'd have lost our home and everything we have! I totally understand the concerns, I really do, but it's how they've all decided that it's not worth staying with this CM regardless that's all very sad :(

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/11/2011 14:34

i was also shocked at the thread the body :( (im a nanny)

as my reply said on the thread, the ideal thing is if you have someone telling you your cm/nanny/childcarer did abc then try and get proof or check out the accusations BEFORE asking the cm

as either way they will deny it - if a) untrue b) they are guilty

i think i can speak for most of us regulars on here that we look after and care for children as we chose and want to - and for some its def not for the pay they do it for - although obv we all have bills/rent/mortgages etc to pay for

but that we do our job as we have a real genuine love for children and want the best for them

Rosiegirl · 02/11/2011 15:21

I agree with you Blondes, I also got the feeling from many of the posters that they still see childcare as someone who just does it for a bit of extra cash. Obviously ignoring how difficult it can be now to get registered and the amount of work it takes with the EYFS and other requirements. This could have been true 10 years ago but certainly not now. I have been doing this for 8/9 years now, my DD's are 10 & 15 so are not really a major concern, if anything they resent that it takes so much of my time as I put CM children first and then have lots of extra paperwork to do in the evenings and weekends. I never stop at 6pm and go home, my work spills into my personal life. I would have given up long ago if it was for pin money. And before anyone tells me that's my choice, remember the government have steadily piled on extra work whether we like it or not over the past 6 years.

I purely do it as I have found something that I am good at, love all the families I have worked with, and have a real sense of pride when children leave me happy wanting to come back.

ChitChattingWithKids · 02/11/2011 16:13

Not nanny or CM, but I think the problem is that although the OP didn't want to believe it, a small part of her thought it could be possible. If that sort of comment makes you have doubts, then how much do you really trust your CM?

If someone had made that sort of an accusation about my CM I'd have thought they were definitely being malicious as I wouldn't believe it possible for a moment.

marcopront · 02/11/2011 16:42

ChitChatting I agree with you so much on this.

If someone had made that sort of an accusation about my CM I'd have thought they were definitely being malicious as I wouldn't believe it possible for a moment.

When my childminder was suspended I knew it would be cleared up because I knew what she was accused of wasn't possible.

Original poster

thebody · 02/11/2011 16:54

god looney, lets hope what goes around comes around, with you on supporting the family as my dh was out of work too for a year andi became main bread winner.

blonds and rosie hear hear, who would do this job unless you loved being around kids, its not easy and the paperwork is indeed mental.

thanks to the two sensible lovely parents above, still feel sick though at the comments on th other thread, does make me think if its worth this, have a friend who works on the tills at Morrisons, earns twice as much as me, gets paid when off sick and on hols, has her house to herself and no bloody paperwork... makes me think bbh.

OP posts:

eastnorth · 02/11/2011 22:07

If you are all good childminders how come you can spend so much time on mumsnet? Hope you are not the childminder I use for my DS. I can see you are all very loyal to each other. If you are not happy the body go to morrisons, think, you may get a shock as they are not on twice your money unless you only have one child. It is an opinion site so yes you will get different opinions, thats the idea.

531800000008 · 02/11/2011 22:23

not sure what your point about Morrison's is

531800000008 · 02/11/2011 22:23

oh, now I see

as you were

notnanny · 02/11/2011 23:42

I think we've got a lot of unhelpful parents on the nanny threads. I am absolutely horrified with the insulting and negative reactions some of us are getting when we seek support. How can a parent have any idea what it's like to be a nanny or a childminder?

MaryPoppinsMagic · 03/11/2011 05:02

eastnorth

If your such a good mother why are you always on mumsnet?

See how assumption is the mother of all insults?

I take it you know the schedule of childminders on here then?

I am an excellent childminder, I only come on here when I don't have any children to look after.

How dare you base the assumption that because childminders come on here they are neglecting their charges!

MaryPoppinsMagic · 03/11/2011 05:02

eastnorth

If your such a good mother why are you always on mumsnet?

See how assumption is the mother of all insults?

I take it you know the schedule of childminders on here then?

I am an excellent childminder, I only come on here when I don't have any children to look after.

How dare you base the assumption that because childminders come on here they are neglecting their charges!

eastnorth · 03/11/2011 07:30

First time I went on mumsnet was last night when my child was in bed. Really interesting site though, I get the impression a lot of you think you are hard done by. Looking at some of the bodys commemnts on another thread and was not impressed.

Cannot post anymore as my job will not allow me to do this all day, and by the way if my CM was accused of this I would go with my gut instinct and carry on sending my child cos my childminder is brilliant. I think a good minder will get over the rumours.

Was not insulted at all by your comments mary, thats your opinions will not be jumping in saying what anexcellent mother I am.

HSMM · 03/11/2011 07:43

It's very hard ... as a cm I am terrified of false accusations... as a mother I would be horrified if I heard a rumour about my daughter receiving bad care.

I can see both sides.

anewyear · 03/11/2011 08:41

Well Eastnorth for what it worth, the children I mind are All TERM TIME, AFTER SCHOOLERS, so quite frankly if I want to come on here before 3.15, I shall..

The majority of us work on our own, having little interaction with others/adults during our working day. It can be lonley some days.
So if we wish to come on here and 'think we're all hard done by' why not?
Who do you talk to when you have problems at work?
I suggest you walk in our shoes.

MaryPoppinsMagic · 03/11/2011 09:11

I am not even going to waste my time responding.

I think anewyear covered it

MaryPoppinsMagic · 03/11/2011 09:11

I am not even going to waste my time responding.

I think anewyear covered it

ChitChattingWithKids · 03/11/2011 19:17

Eastnorth - you are being deliberately inflamatory on a thread which is about a very sensitive topic. As a fellow mum I suggest you stay off this thread!!!!!!

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