Harrietthespook, I can't believe the agency's emails to me. See below:
"i am also jewish and believe me i also dont know every rule there is to know! ... in your letter you mention that you enjoy eating out at restaurants so i would question whether you only frequent kosher ones or if you insist on taking your own utensils and plates. ... i do feel that you have been unreasonable in your reasons for wanting to leave and your hastiness in which you want her to leave". I was furious. I sent the following:
Everything that was emailed to you yesterday regarding the conduct of was true.
We had a wonderful experience with the first Au Pair you provided. Although at one point she lost our trust when she had an unauthorised male companion over to stay whilst we were. However with regard to the two subsequent au pairs, we have showed them both a warm welcome, made certain they were comfortable, took them out for meals, bought them welcome gifts, and showed them the sights and sounds of London. We also made sure that on a daily basis we would debrief them, and whilst focussing on praise, we also provided both of them with support on how to deal with situations.
Whilst I am certain that au pair had a less than pleasant expreience, she both brought it upon herself, and of course she will focus on and exaggerate the negatives whilst ommiting to tell you everything we do to make the au pairs feel welcome. This includes taking at least a week off of work to spend time as a family and allow them to get used to DS and develop a bond. This is very narrow minded not to realise that feedback from a disgruntled aupair would only reflect one side of an experience and as a paying customer you should also respect that we have used our integrity and judgement to make the best decision by our DS.
On the comment you made about telling the girls on arrival that if they are not happy they would have one to two days to pack up and go, and then to write it as gospel without knowing the context shows again incredible belief in your aupairs. In reality we do not want to keep someone here if they are not happy, and we made it clear to both when they presented us with their problems or concerns that will support them if they want to stay, however if they feel they have made the wrong choice we will not hold them to a commitment and they would not have to see out a week notice. You have taken the words of two aupairs and wrapped it up as a "if you don't like it here than get lost" situation, which is a long long way from the truth.
With regard to xxx, apart from the fact that she clearly did not enjoy the company of xxx, as whilst we were observing her for her week here she made little attempt to converse and encourage him, we continued to support her and did not ask her to leave. However after two episodes of crying in her room and not coming out after a few hours, SHE made the decision she wanted to leave, and because of our work commitments we were not in a position to mess around with her reliability. We made that very clear to you.
We made it also clear about the meat situation via Skype and Messaging service, and before inviting her over, we asked her if she understood, and she went away checked it out and then confimed her understanding. As discussed we also showed sympathy to the fact that perhaps she assumed food in her room was fine, by taking her meat shopping. However, with a doubt she continued to ignore our request by keeping back some of the meat. By defending her, you condone this action. In my house I pay the electricity bills and the mortgage, NOT . After continuously reminding her that a laptop does not need charging day and night I went into the room whilst she was out with DS and pulled out the plug. She was horified that I did this, as I explained to you yesterday, and rudely asked me not to control her. She had her laptop charging all day because I kept catching her checking the internet and after the first few times of telling her of course I became annoyed - who wouldnt. I aslo believe she was extra nervous about her meat stash being rumbled and this is why she was very very perculier about entering the room. But I told you all of this and you still feel like defending her. It is no wonder i found DS alone in the kitchen with a sharp knife in striking distance and trapped behind a baby gate with a dog when she was clearly more bothered about the internet. So I dare you to continue to defend those actions.
When I called you yesterday, I was so hopping mad with her due to her rudeness and attitude and failiure to see her errors, that when I phoned you, I couldnt wait to get off the phone from you as you belittled my concerns by saying give her more time, and "I suppose I'll have to find her another family" that it is no wonder that at that moment when you asked me how she is with DS, I replied "fine!" as I quickly realised that my agent does not share the same concerns as the host family. However , since that conversation, we have highlighted the real truth of the matter, and in full knowledge you dare to call us over reacting hosts. I fully support my wife's comments that you are not concerned about our son's safety as you had the bare facts is detailed above. Although words are not being put into your mouth, you are guilty by implication and action.
What is equally concerning is the following comment you made
i am also jewish and believe me i also dont know every rule there is to know! mentioned that whilst she may have felt it was okay to store the meat in her own fridge that she would have used your kitchen utensils to cook the food. however in your letter you mention that you enjoy eating out at restaurants so i would question whether you only frequent kosher ones or if you insist on taking your own utensils and plates.
I am sickened and shocked by this and have never come across anything so damning from a company. I have worked at high levels in both the private and public sector and have never been treated in this way by a agency or sub contrator. The lack of integrity, self restraint and proffessionalism shown caused me to double take when I read this. How dare you comment about our house rules with regard to food, and moreover our interpretation of religion and culture. As a moderate Jew and Muslim, our choice, like millions of others out there is to keep kosher in the house, however we accept that whilst living in a western, multicultural society we are more relaxed with regard to food preparation outside of our home. - But then I should have to justify our rules on this to An Agent.
With regard to the level of service recieved from yourself we are most certainly not happy for all of the reasons highlighted above. Moreover, we made it clear we are looking for a Spanish or at least Mediterranean aupair, and expected you, as the agent to sift through and send us acceptable candidates. Instead it appeared like you just sent us anyone, and everyone available from all destinations, and left it for us to sort out the poor from the even worse. I work in Estate Agency, which at the heart of it a similar process to your own prevails. We employ 16 yr old who taken some registration details from a potential house buyer, and the incompetant 16 year old agents email any properties remotely similar to the clients needs in the hope of a sale - I'm sure we have all expreienced those frustrating agents but does this seem familiar to you?
was dismissed not just becuase of leaving DS alone, not just for persistently checking internet with multiple warning, not just for wasting our electricty (which by the way you seem to see that as normal and acceptable). DS was dismissed that her attitude along with all of this (that has previously been explained verbally and in writing to yourself)absolutely stank. Even more so than the rotting NON KOSHER meat hidden in her wardrobe.
Governing body and parents beware.
Sorry for long response but soo angry!!!
Harrietthespook, any tips on how to go about recruiting next au pair? Please! 