Hi there, wondered if I could pick the brains of childminders/carers/nanny's and mums. I have a 14 month son who has been going to a childminder since Sept for roughly 3 days a week. My childminder is lovely, very like minded on food/activity, and gives him lots of cuddles.
She is a highly qualified ex paediatric nurse and as a result is expensive (£6.50 an hour). I need some flexibility in my job, so have booked 4 days a week and only use 3. I feel that if she feels she is getting a good deal and is right for my son, then we all win.
OK, so here come the issues.....She has her own son and is very evangelical about giving up her career to be at home. She often makes the point that she has never left her son with anyone and just wouldn't. She has also made it very clear that my little boy needs to fit into her routine and this has resulted in him being forced into dropping his morning sleep which he has like clockwork when he is at home (and sleeps at lunctime and from 7-7 at night). She has told me that he never sleeps well at her house and does not need this sleep (when in fact I have discovered it it really because her own son gets up earlier than mine and by 9 is desperate to be out of the house, so all her activities start at 9). She has also said my son is a poor eater, where at home he eats more than me. Also, and this is the bit that is really irritating (but I can deal with if everything else was OK), she is constantly career counselling me, saying "why do you work", "couldn't you move house and live on less money", " a child needs its mummy", etc. I think she thinks she is being nice, but it trebles my guilt at being away.
Finally, she is I think the "good deal" e.g being paid a 4th day and not yet having had to work it has meant she just expects not to work it. Last week I asked her to work 4 days and she constantly told me how tired my son was, what a long week he's had, and how she doesn't know how I could face being away from him.
I was running a conference and really busy at work, and spent every evening in tears.
Am I just experiencing what all Mums experience when you leave your child, or should I give hee the boot and find someone with more experience (she may have lots of nursing quals, but I have totally led the way on using utensils for food and assisting mobility etc etc), and gives me less of a guilt trip.