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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Childminders club: Same child different problem

41 replies

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 07:58

Despite the crisis conversation about turning up on time (8am) or calling, text or dropping a note through the door if not attending, well yesterday they didnt arrive.

Today child arrived at just after 730(which i wont be paid for), do you think i should just ask if they will be bringing him this time everyday, tell them it is 8am start or let it slide. This is the time when i get my own ready for the day and spend some one on one time, which he misses out on the rest of the day and the time i get ready aswell.

Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Twiglett · 22/11/2005 08:01

I think you need to stand firm - if they turn up at 7.30 say I am sorry you are 30 minutes early, I am not able or willing to take your child until 8am you will have to wait in the car

they won't do it again

... you should be charging about a tenner for every fifteen minutes they are outside hours as well

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 08:14

THeyare on care to learn scheme as they are teen parents and they walk down because they are teen parents.
Any idea on how to word that now?

OP posts:

Twiglett · 22/11/2005 08:15

I am sorry xxx but as you know I start work at 8am, I am afraid you will have to come back then

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 08:21

Wow wouldnt like to get on the wrong side of you!> Thanks, i think i would feel really nasty as at least they are bringing the child to me.

OP posts:

Twiglett · 22/11/2005 08:25

you are running a business .. you are not their friend or family - you are employed to care for their child between designated hours

IMHO they are taking the piss

if you can't talk firmly to them then they win and you'll just have to stick with them turning up whenever they wish

if they are teen parents they probably need firm parameters so they understand what is permissable and what isn't.

I know you think my advice sounds harsh, but I can see no other way to approach this - it sounds like softly hasn't worked before.

Twiglett · 22/11/2005 08:26

I don't know the whole story though - so may well be jumping the gun

katzguk · 22/11/2005 08:27

if you find it difficult then why not say, i'm not insured to take children before 8am, small white lie but gives you a stronger position

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 08:39

I wish i could but their education people know different stuff so i cant lie, i have tried to be very nice with them but i agree they are taking the p and i need to get control back but i find it harder with them because they seem to do as they wish.

We have had alot of problems and i have only been working with them since sept, I am getting fed up with it as it now appears that he came this morning but as he had calpol and it is not working he is going to have to go home.

What can i do to regain control, i want to be in the driving seat.

OP posts:

Blandmum · 22/11/2005 08:43

They are taking the piss.

They wouldn't expect a shop or an office to open up early for them. It is totaly unreasonable to expect you to do the same.

I realise that they are young, but there you go, life is tough on us all sometimes. If you let the child in at 7.30 they may well start to bring it at 7!

Why do they need to drop the child off so early? Training courses don't usualy start until 9?

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 08:46

schoolstarts at 830

OP posts:

Twiglett · 22/11/2005 08:50

I think this is more about you than them

Why do you feel it difficult to be assertive? What is the worst that can happen if you tell them what the score is? Is it that they risk 'not liking' you?

are you assertive in other areas of your life

(I am not being mean, I am genuinely interested)

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 08:58

ALways have, i find it a bit hard to think of exactly what to say straight away so i tend to agree to things then regret them. I like to be nice, i dont really care about them not liking me as i wouldnt be friends with them anyway. There is also a shortage of work so i dont particulary wabnt to lose the work. And yes i am assertive in other parts of my life but i think i am still finding my feet a little bit as i havent long been doing this.

OP posts:

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 09:00

So something like

Your contract starts with you at 8am so tomorrow he will have to come for 8am.

I feel i have to back it up - dont know why.

OP posts:

Blandmum · 22/11/2005 09:19

Can they not get to the school in half an hour?

I drop my kids off at 8.00 and have to run back to the car and flog my way through the rush hour traffic to get to my school at 8.30. I'd love to drop them 5 minutes early, but I can't , that is just the way it is!

HellyBelly · 22/11/2005 09:21

Jelly - as you know, I have exactly the same problem as you when it comes to this sort of thing. We're both new and finding it hard but believe me, even though you know I'm a big softy and it's not in my nature to do the sort of things I've had to do recently, after that big talk with you and deciding to give notice to 3 of the mindees (for very good reasons), I feel SOOO much better. I'm not pretending it was easy, I hated it and it made me feel like I was sacking the mums but now everything is good again, I'm very pleased we had that talk (and also very grateful for advice from mumsnet )

As for finances, I'm now £600 down a month so that's not so good but I'm still happy I made this decision.

If you want to keep having this child, you really do need to be firm with them. Arriving at that time is rude!!! As you know, my mindee is due at 8.30am and they're still not here - sometimes more like 10am! TBH, it suits me fine as I get more time with ds and mumsnet . If it was the other way round and they were early or collecting late, I would say something as that's not on. BTW, I now have the early drop off/late collection fee in my contracts - £5 per 15 mins late/early going up to £10 after 7pm.

How do you feel about all the other problems you have with this child? I still think if you're holding onto them for financial reasons, you should make sure you have a vacancy shown on the CIS website so you can keep your options open.

Hope that all made sense!!

Good luck mate!

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 09:22

I am unsure of what to do now, they have to walk to school which doesnt sound alot. I dont know if i should be grateful for te childs sake that child is here.

OP posts:

HellyBelly · 22/11/2005 09:23

p.s. what's wrong with mindee which means they are having to go home?

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 09:29

The lateness, the child not comind, wasting food which has to be prepared in my time in the eveniong, not being told that they are not coming, no apologies. I am surprised that i am putting up with it but at the moment child is not having a great time and i know that i can give alot of stability amongst other things.

I am already re registered with cis but they have said that there is not alot around becasue it is near to christmas and i havent had any calls yet.

OP posts:

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 09:30

They didnt tell me why child had been given calpol just that he had and he had a bad night, crying not even settling when cuddled, tols to give another dose if i need to, now asleep on the sofa.

OP posts:

HellyBelly · 22/11/2005 09:33

He's not going home then. Hey, they're asleep on the sofa and not in the car seat - that makes a nice change!

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 09:34

Well it is better for his back anyway. I know if i call and say pick child up dad will but child will be taken to grandparent and he wont look after child

OP posts:

katymac · 22/11/2005 10:00

look here

We all have this problem

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 10:55

Thankyou, i am so glad it is not just me. Well child had to go home early today as was ill and i finally met the grandmother who does lots of care for the child. I said that as he was very ealry i was only just up and dressed as he was 30 mins early. I will have a proper talk when i see them both as i felt i couldnt tell it like it was as i had only just met the gran and i also thought it would be really unprofessional to start on one.

OP posts:

ThePrisoner · 22/11/2005 19:16

I would assume that the parents just don't realise that what you are doing is a job. It's difficult enough to convince "older" parents that we're not just housewives sitting around with piles of kids at our feet, so I would imagine that these young parents will have much the same idea. It probably hasn't occurred to them whatsoever that you have things to do with your own family in the morning.

They are probably just as naive about using Calpol and you not having "ill" children either, even if you've said it to them or given them written policies.

I know you are having lots of problems with this family as a whole but, having had 3 teenage girls, I think their level of understanding of parenthood, responsibility, your job etc. etc. may well be beyond them!! I think that you need to take on the role of "mentor" and be their "guiding parent", and you will have to be more assertive in a nice way! (Well, that's what I would do anyway!!)

Original poster

jellyjelly · 22/11/2005 19:44

I am one of their mentors but am very new to that. How can i make them understand i have already explained several times that what they do has an impact on all the other families i look after.

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