According to my DD, she spends the whold day watching TV at her childminders!

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, my 6 year old daughter is home educated and has recently started going to a child minder one day a week. I asked on facebook if anyone knew any good CM's and a friend of my husbands family mentioned her daughter, who used to be a nursery nurse. She's only in her early 20's but I didn't feel we could really say no, so we though we'd give her a try. I sent my DD with a big bag of things to entertain herself, eg pens, paper, puzzles, books etc. When I picked her up she was asleep on the sofa. The CM said she'd been good etc. When I asked her what she'd done, she said watched cbeebies and a DVD. She didn't do any drawings or play with any of her things either. I noticed that the TV has been on every time we've visited, and if it's on, DD will watch it. She has an 18 month old daughter who DD has become very fond of, but no other CM children.
I'm not sure wether to say something very tactful to enquire about what she's been doing there, just carry on taking her, or what? I find these things really awkward! I don't mind her watching a DVD or some TV, but 6 hours worth is just too much. She goes on a day that's usually a chill out day, but even so, I usually encourage her to play games, read to her and involve her in what I'm doing.
Am I asking too much though?

pumpkincarver - being a registered childminder does not give assurance of quality of care, it gives assurance that a minimum standard is met. Like schools, they vary in quality of education (and cost), yet all meet a minimum standard. Same with other professions where there is a regulator involved... there are minimum standards, some will be at the minimum level, others will be of a higher standard.

Childcare regulation has been around since 1948, though could be said to have been established in 1871. Whilst not everyone will agree with the legislation, it does need to be pointed out to parents that the legislation exists and thus someone providing unregistered care is breaching that legislation.

So in my view people are right to point out potential dangers of using unregistered care, that the carer is deemed to be fit to care for child and meet a minimum quality standard. If a parent wants to use an unregistered form of childcare, it is possible as I said in my previous post about having the person provide the care at the home of the child, thus becoming a nanny.

Nannynick, but they don't meet a minumum standard: I've seen it with my eyes (toddlers with a dirty nappy not getting changed time after time, dirty faces not geting cleaned, total lack of attention to the toddlers who kept coming to me, etc). They were registered yet providing sub-standard care. The registered minder that used to look after my ds used to cook maily junk food and when I asked her to give cuddles to my ds she said "we don't really do cuddles in his house".
The minumum standard set by Ofsted is obviously very low imo.
This doesn'tmean tht CM are crap carers tho, most are very good, just like most unregistered ones.

The standard set by DfES (or whatever their name is under this Government) may well not be sufficient. The regulator (Ofsted) may well not be checking up sufficiently well to make sure providers meet the standard. However, the minimum standard exists and registered providers should be meeting it.

Agreed... there are good registered childminders and unregistered care providers out there. There are also bad ones.

How does a parent decide who is and isn't suitable to care for their child? Is that something Government should be involved with?

Please dont tar all childminders with the same brush Pumpkin.

As you can turn this round and tar all parents with the same brush,
simply because we see, not just in the media, in every day life, how many pretty awful ones there out there.

I agree you experiance sounds pretty horrible.
and as for the "we dont really do cuddles"

I would have been inclined to take the child with a dirty nappy back to carer and said something along the lines "here we go, (dump child in said carers arms) she dont half whiff)

I think the big issue I see with the OP having an unregistered CM is not the CM herself (OP said she is a registered nursery nurse) but that if I remember correctly a CM's whole setting is registered. The other people in the CM's home are CRB checked, the home has to meet certain safety standards. The CM will be required to have the appropriate trainings and keep them up to date.

My daughter's CM was 'picked from a list'. The CM was wonderful and professional. Not being a friend actually made the relationship easier. There would have been no need to post here on MN (didnt exist then anyway!) as I could simply ask for what I wanted and expect to get it.

Using friends to provide childcare can be a low cost option but can make things difficult if they don't care for your child as expected.

I'm wondering what a registered nursery nurse is... registered with whom? Nursery nurses are not registered with anyone - they may though be known to Ofsted as they may have completed a DC2 form (I think it is) in the past. On the other hand they may be registered with Ofsted as a Home Childcarer, under the current scheme of the voluntary part of the childcare register. Either way they may well be deamed to be suitable to work with children... but those checks would not be done on other people resident at the home.

Using friends to provide childcare can be a low cost option but can make things difficult if they don't care for your child as expected.

I'm wondering what a registered nursery nurse is... registered with whom? Nursery nurses are not registered with anyone - they may though be known to Ofsted as they may have completed a DC2 form (I think it is) in the past. On the other hand they may be registered with Ofsted as a Home Childcarer, under the current scheme of the voluntary part of the childcare register. Either way they may well be deamed to be suitable to work with children... but those checks would not be done on other people resident at the home.

Using friends to provide childcare can be a low cost option but can make things difficult if they don't care for your child as expected.

I'm wondering what a registered nursery nurse is... registered with whom? Nursery nurses are not registered with anyone - they may though be known to Ofsted as they may have completed a DC2 form (I think it is) in the past. On the other hand they may be registered with Ofsted as a Home Childcarer, under the current scheme of the voluntary part of the childcare register. Either way they may well be deamed to be suitable to work with children... but those checks would not be done on other people resident at the home.

wow a tripple post, the phone is working well today!

Exactly, Nanny, that was what I was trying to get at. The OP's friend may have been checked as a nursery nurse to work in a nursery setting. This is not the same as working from home.

OP, you really need to take steps to remove your child from this unregistered care or for the person you are using to get registered. Your daughter already has a SEN, quite apart from the likelihood that her carer has no qualifications or experience with six year olds with SEN, imagine if she had an accident while being minded, there would be no compensation to help you care for her.

If you still want her to be looked after one day a week, then go onto the Ofsted website and search for a registered childminder there. Then when you draw up a short list, check what rating they have and aim for an outstanding or good one. LAs also check childminders so they may be able to help.

Perhaps it might be worth you considering whether there are some more suitable schools for her, have you thought about consulting an educational psychologist?

OP, I think you should ask the chilldminder what your child is doing all day. She may have got it wrong I think if you know this girl through word of mouth and she is a nurserynurse this is fine.

Pumkincarver Iam with you I have seen some rubbish childminders and nannies it does not make them ok just because they have been checked out. I will hasten to add there is lots of good ones too.

I have already spoken to the Cm and explained that she won't be going again. I said about the registration nomber for tax credits.

She's only been twice, once for a short morning session and once for a whole day. I just wouldn't be able to enjoy my day out, thinking that she's not being looked after in the way I'd want her to be. IE watching TV all day.

It is so hard knowing who to trust! I don't think I could trust anyone outside the family unless they were good friends and I don't have any friends that are CM's.

There have been some really nasty comments on here, no doubt from registered CM's. It's really been an eye opener as you kind of expect people who work with children to be kind and caring.

Oh well, I might look at dropping a night at work, then offering my mum some money to have her for 1 day a week or every other week.

Yes i agree people are very quick to jump in. It is hard to trust peoplr who are not family.

if you really like this girl (apart from the fact she may allow your dd to watch tv all day) then why not have her come to your house for the day - no need to be registered then

No, she'd only let her watch T.V all day at ours insted. I wouldn't really want someone in our house while we're not there either, that's not a trust issue,just a privacy one.

Mummyloveslucy, Do you not think that prehaps the childminders that have posted on here are only looking out for YOU & YOUR CHILD.

As with every proffession you will always get the good and the bad,

some places that I know off to find registerd childminders
www.childcare.co.uk, there is a fee payable I belive tho, for the service
Family Imformation Service
your Local Childrens Centre..

As I said before please dont tar all childminders with the same brush,

Some have been very helpful and have been looking out for us, but the vast majority have been rude, nasty and very insulting.

I know there are good CM's out there, but after posting on here, I don't honestly think I could trust anyone.

OK mummyloveslucy I'm not going to go on about why I think it was a really bad plan to use this 'CM' - I think you get the picture!

When I was picking my CM I read through the details of probably 200 CM via the directgov website. I then emailed 40 who had listed the aspects that I needed (in my case, suitable for shift work but in yours able to look after SEN children). Of that 40, I visited 10 of them and then picked the one I wanted. I googled a list of questions who need to ask your CM and then added on some more pertinent to my child. CMs expect you to do this and won't mind you being honest and saying you are seeing other CM. They should be able to show all their documentation and give you a really clear idea of what will be done during the day.

It's a lot of work but I managed to find two CM that I loved and the one I went with is lovely and makes me feel relaxed about leaving my DS with her while I go to work.

FWIW I don't think people should be commenting that you should be putting her in school, it obviously didn't work and she's thriving with the way things are at the moment.

Thanks, I'll do that if I change my mind. I can't see that happening though.

I bet if I went to see any one of these nasty pieces of work that have been so rude on here, they'd be really welcoming and friendly to us. I'd never know what they were really like behind closed doors.

I think you should try someone else. At least at six your child is old enough to say what she is doing all day. But if you can get your mum I think this is the best option.

i am a cm and read your post with interest..

i understand that this person.NOT CM AS NOT REGISTERED.. isnt providing the care you want for dd..

bit confused as what you expected the care to be like.. surely you knew that child carers have to be registered by law!!???

am so sorry that you feel that some of the cms on here have been 'nasty peices of work' but it does get us really hopping mad when a parent complains about care.. but obviously hasnt researched or bothered to look around first and chooses the cheapest easiest option.. which is always a disaster..

most cms are, 'kind and caring'.. but that means sticking up for the children.

you dropped a clanger here,,(as we all do from time to time) so expect some flack..

good luck though with your search for a cm.. there are lots of us good ones out there who dont have the tele on all day and dont need you to bring stuff to the setting for children to do..

The cheapest option is not always a disaster. Please give the OP a bit of a break. I think some of you have gone over the top. No wonder she is not even prepared to use a registered childminder.

I hope it all works out for you mummyloveslucy. I have read your posts since your DD was in pre-school, so am very aware of just how much thought and care you have put into having her in the right setting over the years. I hadn't seen you post that you took her out of school. I know a lot of home schooling families and it's a great option for all those great square pegs out there who will never fit into that round hole no matter how hard people push them! Good luck.

Thanks sunnydelight. She is getting on really well and there has been a big change in her behaviour, her willingness to socialise and our relationship is so much better now. I'm so proud of her, I just wish I'd done it years ago.