Need advice from nannies

[diggingintheribs]

I have a live out nanny starting in a few weeks and I want to make sure I do everything right! I have never had a nanny before so unsure

She is really lovely but so much so I'm not sure she'll tell me if there is a problem iyswim

The key things I don't know about are this;

1. Kitty for activities - what is the norm? It would just be for toddler groups, lunches if they are out etc. Is it ok to ask for receipts or a note of what it was used for?

2. Travel - she will be using the bus - how do I handle this? Do I offer to pay for her bus pass (she's going to work part time)?

3. Day diary - is it reasonable to ask her to note down what DD has done, eaten, how much she has slept, and , ahem, bowel movements?

4. I am happy for her to use our landline but how does it work with mobile phones?

5. Lunch - what food do I get in for lunch? What do I do about food (she'll be here for all 3 meals)

6. Is there anything else I should be thinking about? Salary and tax is all sorted.

Thanks

1. absolutely fine to ask for receipts!! Leave a set amount each week, any change can build up un the pot-often handy for odd expenses, if she needs.more she can ask

2. my boss pays a certain amount towards my pass and any trains I need to get due.to trips etc

3)absolutely! And you can keep it up to date when she's not working, great way to communicate.!

4. you could supply a phone for her for.work use...just a cheapo one if she'll need to.use it often.

5. I just eat what my charges eat, but nice to get the cereal et. she likes it if she has dietry requirements

1. absolutely fine to ask for receipts!! Leave a set amount each week, any change can build up un the pot-often handy for odd expenses, if she needs.more she can ask

2. my boss pays a certain amount towards my pass and any trains I need to get due.to trips etc

3)absolutely! And you can keep it up to date when she's not working, great way to communicate.!

4. you could supply a phone for her for.work use...just a cheapo one if she'll need to.use it often.

5. I just eat what my charges eat, but nice to get the cereal et. she likes it if she has dietry requirements

That's great - thanks!

I'll discuss what bus pass she has and suggest a contribution then

Not sure she'll need the phone except for emergencies. I'll see what deal she has. I suppose I could contribute a bit i she's pay as you go?

Are there any things you would advise a new employer? I want to get off to a good start!

My boss doesn't pay anything towards mine, I have unlimited texts so text her if need be, I call her so rarely that I don't see any point in asking for money

Don't be late home! If you will be then let her know as early as possible....obviously sometimes its unavoidable, and nannies do understand that, but a regular occurance take the piss! (In the nicest possible way :o )

If you pay her late, either your fault or the banks etc, then apologise profusely! Not saying you will, but sometimes banks etc mess up

A little token every now and then, be it a little box of chocolates, an unexpected early finish or something tiny is completely unnecessary but very much appreciated ()iygwim)

Let her know how much you appreciate her if she goes above and beyond :)

Yoy sound lovely that your worried about this stuff!!

Kitty- I've had several different ways of doing it. One family gave me a purse with about £40 in didn't expect any receipts, just let them know when it needed topping up. Another asked when I started to see receipts then never actually asked to see them, when I finished I ended chucking a huge bagful! They were pretty bad at keeping it up to date- for example I'd have £30 or whatever for the week then aske me to pick up 3 or 4 bits from dry cleaners at £10 a pop, so I ended up being owed and with nothing for the kids. So as a general rule I'd recomend keeping on top of what the nanny has left and topping up, and not underestimating how much they may spend.

At the moment I use my PAYG Oyster for the school run- would cost me £2.20 for a single without it, £1.30 using Oyster. Its my one though, I just note in the diary I used 1 or 2 buses today and take the money from the kitty.

A decent sized nanny diary is a must for me- boss arrives around five mins after I am supposed to leave so I don't want to spend half an hour explaining the day. Also useful if you can note anything from the weekend- if child seems ill or whatever on Saturday it may slip your mind by Monday, for example. Just let her know what you want noting- previous boss thought I was mad for noting down nappy changes, to others its important. Also good if you note down DCs DOBs, docs name and surgery number, emergency number of someone local who can help if needed etc.

I've never had a family say anything about mobile use before current job- but I was on a contract so used my own minutes and texts for work. When I signed current contract it had a £20 pm phone allowance, which was a nice suprise! I'm still on a contract but I now don't worry about calling home etc so I can save mins for work use, I can pay for the extra calls. Not that there are many needed!

I've always done full-time but never had a job providing three meals a day! I usually eat before work and after, and have lunch there. Can't eat the same as the child because she is weaning and I batchcook and freeze so I have whatever is in the fridge or cupboard. If I fancy something different I pay from my own money or cook enough for the three year old after school and pay from the kitty. But asking if there is something you could add to food delivery like a certain cereal or bread- I had a family who only ate white bread so I requested wholemeal for me (and got the child on it too!).

Other than that- I'd advise being home on time, keeping communicating, talk about stuff thats not just work related. I had a job where boss never asked if I had a good weekend, or anything conversational. I currently have a boss who asks how I am, appologises when late, doesn't expect the earth from me, treats me like a person and I do try to go out my way to do more for them, if that makes sense!

Let nanny know when you can or cannot be contacted, and for what. No good saying 'call em anytime, for any reason!' then get annoyed when she calls for something you see as trivial or when you're in a meeting. I speak from experience!

Getting a nanny has been a bit of a struggle. i would describe myself as a hands on mum (DH uses the word helicopter!) and it just feels weird!

I have a lot more holiday than she does and I intend to use it so she will get a lot of extra days off.

Other worry is that we are going to overlap before I go back to work. I was planning on leaving her with DD (baby) one day and DS the other days. Does that make sense?

Samedi - thanks for your reply

Do your bosses ask you to do non-chold related chores often?

I guess she will be having her dinner at home - no reason why she would want to eat at a kids dinner time!!

Makes perfect sense and would work fine, except sometimes accept that 1 dc may not want to go with the nanny and will cry and scream for you, but that's natural :)

And back the nanny up, I can't stress this enough! Any problems with discipline etc, tell her away from the kids! She needs your support and you both need to follow each others punishments etc

I often eat dinner with charges tbh....In the job I'm in now I already have to cook 3 different meals....I can't be bothered doing myself one at home

:)

It would be nice if she ate with the kids as DS likes a good chat over dinner!

DS is a crafty one so I am definitely keeping an eye on him not playing us against each other!

1. Kitty for activities - I like having a set budget with which I can do I what I like. £5 per day seems to work well - it's enough for toddler group, will usually cover going swimming, will cover misc things like icecream.
   Toddler groups don't give receipts usually. It can also be hard to get a receipt from the icecream van. Consider why it is that you are wanting receipts - is it a trust thing? Put trust in your nanny to spend the money wisely, to save up money for more expensive things. I work 4 days a week, get £20 to cover activities and misc expenses. Next week I get another £20 and so it goes on. If we overspend one week, we can then underspend the next. I got this kitty amount when Child1 was a pre-schooler and Child2 was a baby. Now I get the same amount with Child1 at school, Child2 pre-schooler, Child3 baby. In that situation amount could be increased for school holiday times, given that Child1 is no longer Free entry for many places.

2. Travel - I don't know about bus passes. The potential issue I see is that you could end up paying for her travel to/from work. That would be a taxable benefit I believe (check with your payroll provider or an accountant). Is there an electronic version of the bus pass which enables you to see itemised journeys and thus factor in a cost allocation? (as I said, know nothing about bus passes but with technology these days, I do wonder what is possible.) In my view you need to pay for work travel but not travel to/from work.

3. Day diary - personally I don't bother with this these days. Maybe I should but my boss seems relaxed about it now that I've been there several years. You can certainly ask, however it's bit like diaries at nurseries - you never really know how accurate it is. I found sending digital photos helped to reassure parents that we are actually doing things, going places.

4. Why would she want to use your mobile phone? Probably has her own mobile. You pay to call her mobile, as that's the way phones work - the caller pays. If you mean her sending you texts, calling you from her mobile, then that's part of the job... though could factor something into the daily/weekly kitty.

5. Lunch - nanny eats with the children. Nanny eats the same as the children usually, except for things like baby porridge! Ask nanny to suggest things for the shopping list, also to let you know when they spot things are running out. Presume nanny is cooking the meals.

Overlapping with a parent at home is fine. You can take that opportunity to have YOU time (or should that be ME time) to get things done just for you. Then you could spend time with 1 particular child - especially useful to help bonding with an older child who my be feeling pushed out by baby.

Why would nanny not want to eat at kids dinner time (tea time)? I do it on occasion, not always but often if there is enough food for all of us. If nanny is eating later themselves back home they may well only have a small amount at tea time, just to help encourage the children to eat and gives a time when they can talk. With baby, I find that she can need a feed around tea time, or a nap, often both. So can be fed at or near the dinner table, so we are still able to talk to the older children.

Thanks nannynick

Maybe I will just ask her to tell me what she's spent in the first few weeks so I can get an idea of how much she will need.

I hadn't thought of the camera - I would love her to take photos of DD as she is at that age where she will be doing so much new stuff!

I guess she shouldn't really be phoning me much

Intend to have a day with DS to go to museums etc as he starts school in September. He is a suspicious soul so I want to make sure he has really bonded with her before I go back to work.

I agree with the camera,I take a camera everywhere when we are out,take photos ,such as when the girls started football club this week, and when they dressed up for the royal wedding ,I took photos of how I did their hairIt was a bit way out] which may seem a little thing but their parents obviously interested in anything different we do.I give them either copies of photos ,although recently I gave them my camera and they downloaded all the pics of their children.

Yes, good idea to track first few weeks to get a typical kitty amount.

Mobile phones often have camera's these days, ideal for taking quick pics whilst out and about. They can then be emailed or uploaded to secure image sharing site.

No, shouldn't need to phone you during the day. The odd text message however during the first few weeks can be of reassurance to you - such as "x has had 6oz bottle and is now napping."

So you don't think i should provide a camera (not so keen as this is number 3 in 2 years as I keep dropping them!)? Am happy to get her an SD card or something. Will chat to her about it

Thanks for the help. Feel very nervous about it and I want her to be happy!

No. It's something else to lug about and to lose. Most mobile phones have a camera built in... does hers? You don't want high quality image... you want a quick snap as and when to "capture the moment" (that's probably trademarked by one of the photo companies!)

i'll find out but I can see it makes sense!

I'm sure this will sound odd, depending in the phone she has I'd consider a cheap small cameras that can be slung ub the nappy bag on any day trips out

I have a great camera on ky phone bit not so fab battery life, having a camera means u can take loads of snaps without worrying about being contactable in an emergency

I do use ny phone for in the house or local places mind

Thanks!

Please excuse typing! I typed on the aforementioned phone!

That's ok!

Another quick question if you don't mind!

There is no evening babysitting in the contract. Do you do evening babysitting? Or would you rather not?

I do evening babysitting, I don't have it in my contract as my hours vary so much...I work a set amount per month (Used to be week) then I get £9ph for any work after that

I get first refusal on babysitting if they just want to go out rather then are working late (iygwim)
:)

That makes sense. Do you work fulltime or part time? Sounds hard to manage varying hours!

No babysitting in a live-out nanny contract. However I would have thought your nanny would be the first person you would ask if you needed a babysitter and they would probably say yes to requests, if it fits with their plans for that evening, especially if it's a work day evening as they could just stay after their usual finish time.

Full time, but can work anything between 36 and 70hours pw depending on various things!

I thought maybe after 10 hours with the kids the thought of babysitting would be horrendous!!

I would rather have her babysit as the kids know her (eg DS is going through a falling out of bed phase and a familiar face is so much more comforting!)