Strongly suspect CM is mistreating DD - views please

[Lasvegas]

DD has been with CM since 16 months old and no problems. CM was recommended by a mum who had used her exclusively until her DD went to School.

DD will be three in 4 weeks time and is incredibly articulate and has great memory

6 months ago when DD was 2.6 she started role playing with her dolls saying open your fucking legs (when putting on nappy) and eat your fucking dinner (when feeding them). After weeks of gentle probing we were pretty sure that DD had over heard CM saying it to a baby in her charge not actually to DD.

A couple of weeks ago DD hit head on basin at home. We always say nasty basin (or whatever she bumped into) and hit it. This time she said naughty fucker to the sink. I chatted with her and transpired CM partner says this to her or she over hears him saying it to other kids.

Last night DD told Au pair when she collected her and me as soon as I got home, that CM had hit her cheek and pinched her neck. She hit her own cheek to demonstrate. I asked her why CM was nasty to her she said she had chips and Pizza and there was no ketchup.

I believe that DD is telling truth although she is very young. What do you think? DD is too young to lie in my view so these things must be happening.

In CM deffense - DD has no bruises, parents of other mindees have used her long term and sent siblings to her.

blu, i can completely believe that, i suppose my dd has told lies to me but they never hold, she usually forgets and changes her mind

theres no smoke without fire, lasvegas

piffle

Piffle
Get her out of there asap Lasvegas, sorry. We had minor issues in comparison with ds' shortlived childminder when he was a baby and we couldn't make new arrangements fast enough.
I am so sorry to hear this and desperately sorry for that poor little baby
Report the woman to Ofsted and to your local Children's Information Service (run by the local authority you or she lived in)
Good luck

Piffle, how horrible.

We all know there is a stage at which babies create when having nappies changed, and it is frustrating. I will have to admit that I have sworn in front of DS, but this woman is a CM, and should be able to do her job without behaving like this.

Shocking The bad language is enough and the aggressive tone is something which proves this person is totally unsuitable for childminding.Imagine if someone at work spoke to you like that you would be out the door pronto and so should these kids

I have just read your message and went straight for my file to get you this number, please please please ring it, its for parents: OFSTED 0845 601 4771

She needs reporting, I am disgusted with what you have said, Its the like of these people that give us childminders bad name.

I personally as a chilminder an d parent would not send my child there and would ring ofsted.

I can't post much as i have to go pick up my DS from nursery.

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piffle, i thought the same thing

Get her out and report her, now.

This is why i would rather struggle financially than send my children anywehere. Imagine if she couldn't tell u all that she had seen...?? doesn't bear thinking about soryy

I dont want to make you feel guilty but I would have taken her out 6 months ago.

Please call ofsted too if you can bear to.

OMG - my child would be out of there like a shot. It doesn't sound like lies to me and she is using language no 3 yr old I know would use. Get her out of there.

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I would be just a little careful about reporting her. I do know some children of nearly 3 or just 3 who can lie quite convincingly. it is possible at that age. and also your dd might have heard the language from another child - again, I know 3 year olds who swear a lot.

i am not saying your dd is lying, she's probably not. but what if she was, or just exaggerating. the childminder might get into a lot of trouble.

And what if she's not lying, or not exaggerating? Not a risk I'd be prepared to take, frankly.

I wouldn't report her until I had had a chance to talk to her about what your dd had said. She may or may not have been lying about being hit and pinched but, for me it sounds as though there is a level of aggression and bad langauge in your childminders home that I would find unacceptable.

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Do you know the parents of the baby who has had this stuff apparently said to it?

The thought that my non-verbal baby was with a CM who was using that kind of language makes me want to vomit. And you don't say "open your fucking legs" without venom in your voice - that's what really upsets me

the cm is not exactly going to admit to swearing and hitting though is she? or her dp

would ofsted not just give her a spontaneous visit, and speak to her about the allegations themselves? i think these things should be left to the authorities

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I have no experience (have read the whole thread), but wanted to say to Fennel - surely if you report, there will be an investigation... if all is well, then yes, it will have caused stress, but it will be over with, if it is not well, then other children will be protected.

i wonder if the cm has children of her own

Lasvegas? Are you there?

Haven't read rest of thread, just your opening post, but I think you need to remove your child from the CM

HM am hoping she read the first handful of responses and is on her way to collect her daughter.